Contents
People refuse to have children for a variety of reasons, from financial to environmental. Why people become childfree, what scientists say about it and what is the situation in our country
Who are childfree
Childfree (from English. childfree – free from children) are people who deliberately do not have children. Both people who are in a permanent relationship or married, and single people can identify themselves as childfree. There is no complete analogue in Russian, but there is a demographic term “voluntarily childless”, which is often used in relation to childfree.
History of occurrence
For the first time, they started talking about childfree in the United States in the era of hippies and “free love” (1960-1970s). Then the organization NON (The National Organization for Non-Parents) appeared. It was founded by friends Ellen Peck and Shirley Radle. The organization changed its name many times. The current one is the National Alliance for Optional Parenthood.
The first major study of the childfree phenomenon was conducted by Canadian sociologist Jean Veevers. In 1980, she published the book Childless by Choice. Veevers has studied families who have deliberately refused to have children. As a result, she suggested divide childfree into rejectors (from English reject – refuse, reject) and affecionado (from Spanish affection – affection):
Rejectors have an aversion to children, pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. Weavers notes that there have always been such people. After the sexual revolution and the development of the feminist movement, the pressure of society on directors weakened. They have the opportunity to speak openly about their beliefs. Rejectors are not the main part of childfree representatives.
AffectionadoOn the contrary, they do not have negative feelings towards children. They choose the childfree path as the most comfortable for them. In their opinion, without unnecessary responsibility for someone else’s life, it is easier to travel and build a career. Affecionados are also referred to as “fascinated by childlessness”. If such people have a need to communicate with children, it is enough for them to spend a few hours with the children of friends or neighbors. Affecionados easily cope with the role of uncle, aunt or godparent, but consciously refuse their own children.
Weavers’ typology is not the only one. In 2008, researchers Dylan Neal and Heather Joshi proposed another theory. They are added terms:
“Waving Refuseniks”. These are people who are especially influenced by society and the media, so they often change their minds about childbearing. In an era of reliable contraception, most undulating refuseniks are hesitant to have a baby.
“Permanent Postponers”. For them, the birth of children every time is not a priority: people put off this step, preferring to focus on a career, moving, achieving personal goals and other aspects of life. As a result, many do not dare. This category of childfree is common in large metropolitan areas such as Moscow and St. Petersburg.
How does the childfree movement relate to feminism?
In a conservative society, including in our country, the idea is still widespread that every woman has a maternal instinct – she wants to give birth to a child. This idea exists even in science: for example, the American sociologist Talcott Parsons in the middle of the XNUMXth century promoted the theory that the roles and spheres of activity of men and women should be strictly separated. Childcare should fall solely on the shoulders of women, and men are supposed to focus on the “sphere of employment”: build a career, support a family. According to Parsons, this is a necessary condition for social order.
Second-wave feminists fought against such attitudes. This movement actively developed in the USA and Europe in the second half of the 1960th century. In the late XNUMXs, feminists put forward the thesis that a woman is a hostage of physiology. Her position in society is directly related to whether she can and is going to give birth. It was thanks to the fact that feminists staged actions and brought this issue up for discussion that in 1968 at the UN International Conference a number of acts were adopted that became the guarantor of reproductive rights. The documents spoke of women’s right to legal and safe abortion, the right to birth control, and the right to education and access to information. The latter made it possible to make a conscious and free reproductive choice. All this was one of the reasons for the birth of the childfree ideology.
What is the difference between childfree and childfree
In English, there are different concepts – childless and childfree. In Russian, there is no capacious analogue for the term childfree, so people without children are simply called childless. Childlessness may be voluntary or forced. This is the fundamental difference.
People become involuntarily childless for reasons beyond their control. The most common is infertility. Those who deliberately refuse children may be able to have a child, but prefer not to do so on their own.
Childfree movement in our country and the world
African and Asian countries are on the first lines birth rate ranking among countries around the world. There, traditional attitudes and values, according to which a woman is obliged to give birth to a child, are still strong. So, in May 2022, an Indian couple sued their son and his wife for not having grandchildren. An elderly couple will demand $65 from their son as moral compensation if the grandson is not born before the end of the year.
In progressive countries the situation is different. For example, in Austria and the UK, the share of childfree is 20%. In the United States, 27% of respondents said they did not want to have children. This figure was significantly higher than expected by researchers from the University of Michigan. Also by 2020, the birth rate in the United States has decreased. Women aged 15 to 44 began to give birth less by 4%. The indicators of only one age group, 45–49 years old, did not change. Women of this age did not begin to give birth less. This study also confirms that the age at which people have children has increased.
The demographic hole in our country is the 1990s. But at that time the childfree ideology was just entering Russia. The main reason for the low birth rate at that time was socio-political problems – the economic crisis and default. In addition, the birth rate was affected by the surge of the sexual revolution and the first sex education. Those who were teenagers in the mid-1990s became the first childfree in our country. The first associations began to appear at the end of 2004 in the form of virtual communities, which numbered from 300 to 500 people. The then popular LiveJournal became the first platform for their interaction. Over time, it was active interaction on the Internet that became a feature of the childfree movement in our country. Today there are many more such communities. Some of them have up to 50 thousand participants.
Childfree celebrities who have spoken out about their position include Jared Leto, Oprah Winfrey, Keanu Reeves, Cameron Diaz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Aniston.
Why do people become childfree
Childfree is a specific identity that people consciously accept. Research group of educational psychologists identified several reasons why our country refuses to have a child:
- Childhood psychological trauma. A negative experience, because of which a person is disillusioned with the idea of a family and does not want to reproduce situations in which, theoretically, he can experience the same thing.
- Personal negative experience peopleassociated with children.
- Environmental influence.
Every year there are more and more followers of the childfree ideology in the world. The number of reasons why people refuse to have children is also multiplying. The New York Times magazine asked about two thousand men and women why they adhere to the childfree ideology. Here are the main reasons:
- unwillingness to take on additional serious responsibility;
- fear of the irreversibility of the decision;
- absence of a partner;
- dissatisfaction with the imperfections of the world;
- awareness of the problem of overpopulation of the planet;
- financial difficulties;
- the high cost of maintaining a child;
- the desire to preserve freedom and the format of life “for oneself”;
- fear of social problems that the child will face;
- fear of pregnancy and changes that happen to the body during and after childbirth;
- fear of the birth process;
- negative attitude towards babies;
- perception of children as an obstacle on the way to self-realization;
- uneven distribution of parental responsibilities (statistics shows that in heterosexual families it is the woman who takes care of the children).
Ecology as a reason
One of the main reasons for not having a baby called overpopulation of the Earth and climate change. The movement to not have children because of these concerns is growing. It affects fertility rates faster than past trends in the field of declining fertility, analysts at the American company Morgan Stanley say. Some people choose not to have children because they are afraid it will increase global warming. When a family refuses to have a child, it saves the atmosphere from 58 tons of carbon dioxide emissions annually, according to research from a Swedish university. Other childfrees are concerned about extreme weather events that their children may have to endure.
Is childfree a problem
Psychotherapist Shini Ambardar notes that not wanting to have children is not a problem, but the norm. Research shows that people who are childless are just as happy as those who have children.
Clinical psychologist Victoria Radchenko saysthat any behavior seeks to satisfy our specific needs. Humans have a basic need for security and predictability. It can be satisfied both by the birth of a child and by the rejection of it. Some people understand security as financial stability, a clear understanding of what will happen in life in a year or more. Refusal to have children provides predictability and security of life for such people. They think: “The world is unstable, how will I provide for myself and the child.” For other people, security and confidence in the future is provided by the thought: “I will give birth, so then there will be someone to take care of me.”
Tips for people who are pressured by loved ones
Victoria Radchenko says that among her clients, a frequent request is to work out relationships with parents. Discussions with loved ones on topics such as marriage and children often lead to conflicts due to differences of opinion. Here is what she recommends doing in this case:
Understand why you are waiting for the approval of loved ones: “Ask yourself questions: why are you trying to explain, for example, to your parents your position? You are an adult. You have already decided everything. The only person you need to get understanding and respect from is you. Until you yourself begin to respect and understand yourself, you will ask and demand it from others.
Calmly state your position: “An effective technique for a situation of acute conflict is to choose one short phrase that you will repeat calmly and confidently from time to time. For example, “I decided (a) that I do not want children. Thanks for understanding”. This is a technique with a cumulative effect, which, among other things, educates your inner patience.”
Accept the wishes of loved ones: “Your parents have the right to want grandchildren, and you have the right not to want children. I recommend accepting this wish of the parents. Often the phrase “I understand that this is important to you” leads to mutual understanding. Entering into a sharp conflict, trying to prove your point of view is a losing option. The thing is, your parents are trying to do the same.”
According to Victoria Radchenko, parents are waiting for their grandchildren to cover their own needs: “My hypothesis is that behind this ardent desire lies anxiety, complex emotional experiences due to the fact that your family will not continue. It may also be anxiety for you. Feelings of guilt that your parents somehow raised you wrong. When you begin to understand a loved one so deeply, your conflicts become less sharp and less draining. To understand your parents is to take care of yourself.”