Problematic behavior is erroneous behavior caused not by ordinary everyday reasons, but by the psychological problems of a person.
This behavior is inadequate, does not meet the expectations of people, and leads away from the goals desired by the person — therefore it is called erroneous. But unlike the mistakes that any person once makes (carelessness, fatigue, seduced by a provocation), these mistakes are specific, caused by a person’s psychological problems: his internal state, inadequate beliefs and problematic habits.
Typically, there are only four typical causes behind problem behavior: attention seeking, power struggles, vindictiveness, and failure avoidance. These reasons can be generated by the current situation, or they can come from afar, from childhood, being reproduced as habitual behavior.
What can be considered problem behavior? — A variety of things. These are such obvious things as swearing and fighting, theft and deceit, as well as less obvious things — the tendency to object and get upset …
Problematic behavior does not appear out of nowhere, it is a product of learning, like any other behavior. Family and society give patterns of problem behavior, children repeat them, parents and others reinforce problem behavior — usually unconsciously, as people in general live.
By paying attention to the negative, we strengthen the negative, with our aggression we accustom to aggression as the norm of life, with compassion we reinforce the habit of getting upset …
What to do about problem behavior? This is a more difficult question. One thing is the whims of a child, another thing is domestic violence, the third is street crime … Nevertheless, the most common things:
- Most often, the choice occurs between the following basic methods: Punish? Treat? Learn? Bring up? Isolate? Most other methods (from behavioral reinforcement of desired behavior to humanistic acceptance and «warm with love») are only combinations of elements of these methods.
- Punishment is more effective than teaching and counseling, but only for moderate offenses and in the medium term. Difficult personalities do not react to punishments, ordinary people quickly forget punishments. Teach, heal and advise — helps weaker, but if it helps, then for a long period of time. See →
- If the situation is not running, it always makes sense to start by considering the possibility of interpreting what is happening in a positive way, through the prism of a positive translator, as erroneous rather than problematic behavior.
If children fight, it is not necessary to immediately see in this their revenge and hatred for each other. Maybe it’s worth interpreting that they are «indispensable water» and cannot live without each other?