We are glad to welcome you, dear readers of Valery Kharlamov’s blog! Today I want to talk more about what an inferiority complex is and where it comes from. After all, it poisons the existence of almost every person, preventing them from getting everything they want from life and fulfilling their needs.
Main manifestations
Mistrust
Due to the fact that the self-esteem of people with inferiority syndrome is too low, they do not trust the compliments and praise of others, and are also overly sensitive to criticism. A self-confident person knows his strengths and weaknesses, realistically evaluating them, therefore, when a compliment is given to him, he accepts it with gratitude, because he knows that this is really so. And when criticized, he realizes that he made a mistake and tries not to make it the next time, while the person with the syndrome becomes offended, angry or begins to feel guilty and ashamed. But it happens that, on the contrary, they constantly expect praise, even for very insignificant and inconspicuous, undeserved successes, simply “feeding” on compliments.
Loneliness
Most often they are lonely because they avoid attention, trying to be invisible.
Rigidity and rudeness
Wanting to show how invulnerable and wealthy he is, a person with low self-esteem is sometimes too harsh, saying everything he thinks to his face, without thinking about the feelings of the interlocutor. This feature he may well consider his advantage and proof of strength. Especially often this is manifested in men, believing that this is what brutality looks like.
Not being able to take responsibility for your actions
Shifting the blame on others, nature, and anything, but not taking on a share of responsibility. The proof of this may be the inability to recognize the achievements of other people, attributing everything to the fact that they were just lucky.
«Rise» at someone else’s expense
Well, for example, if you notice only flaws in others, then it becomes much calmer about your personality. Only here the depreciation of others gives an imaginary feeling of superiority, which soon dissolves like a haze.
Fear of rivalry
A person avoids competition in every possible way, not understanding how to present himself, believing in advance that he has lost, even having a huge advantage, he will not believe in his strength. This already in most cases occurs in women who compare themselves in advance with other women, and not at all in their favor.
Fear
They do not take risks and prefer not to show up for fear of making mistakes. A person with complexes will prefer not to do anything, respectively, not to realize their desires, but people will not condemn and will not notice their “clumsiness”.
Causes
- In the last article, I already talked about the consequences of hyper-custody and hypo-custody, I won’t repeat myself, I’ll just clarify that a lack of love can change the future of a child, limiting it and making it unhappy. He will associate the lack of attention with his inferiority, and will never believe that he is worthy of sincere love. And excessive guardianship, when a child does not have the right and opportunity to show independence, get bumps, and subsequently gain experience, will not be able to rely on himself, and will not reach maturity, independence.
- Also, the formation of a syndrome of low self-esteem can begin against the backdrop of economic difficulties. The time when everyone is equal has passed, and someone reaches heights, constantly working, someone is just lucky. And then, if there are more successful people in the environment, the person begins to blame himself, demanding similar accomplishments. Advertising constantly puts pressure on us, up to the point that it changes the value system of a person. And then he feels miserable that he is not able to afford a new car, as in the picture, and an elite drink worthy of a winner.
- Physical differences also affect self-esteem. At the sight of a more attractive person, the thought may appear that he is more significant and important to others. Or appear toxic shame because of their imperfection. Moreover, fantasies may not coincide with reality at all, when the perception of oneself and one’s body is distorted. There are frequent cases when beautiful girls do not believe if they are told compliments, considering this a mockery and ridicule. This happens when, in the process of formation, the support of parents was not received, there was no recognition of their growing up, but only criticism.
- Significant are the reasons associated with moving or a radical change of scenery. For example, when they leave for another country, city, for children, even the transition to a new school can be so stressful that it will make itself felt with the help of low self-esteem and anxiety.
Recommendations
Remember this concept, how is the visualization?
This is when we imagine something related to our body, the nervous system is unable to distinguish fantasy from reality, therefore it gives signals to the brain about imaginary actions. For example, have you noticed that when you remember some stressful situation, your heart starts to beat faster, your breathing becomes intermittent and blood rushes to your face? So why not take advantage of this method, and not relax, calm down in moments of excessive stress? You can learn by looking at the article about alpha rendering.
Know Yourself
Don’t rely on other people’s opinions of you. Only you can know your character traits, behavioral patterns and reactions to various situations, as well as the motives behind some actions. When you have a clear idea about yourself, about what kind of person you are, you will not be hurt by what others say, because you will understand where they are right and at what points they are wrong.
Towards fears
If you avoid big companies, go the opposite way, start getting out into crowded places, chatting with strangers. Over time, if you’re willing to «see reality» rather than holding on to your inferiority fantasies, you’ll find others accept you for who you are. Read the article about getting rid of fears, here is the link.
Autotraining
With the help of self-hypnosis, you can change the perception of yourself, significantly improving self-esteem, gaining confidence and becoming more open. And what needs to be done for this, see this article.
Do sports
Your physical form will always be in good shape, and external changes will entail internal changes. And I will not tire of repeating — practice yoga and breathing techniques. You will achieve harmony — and isn’t that what people get who have overcome their fears and limitations?
Sign up for courses to gain new knowledge and skills
Maybe you have long had a dream to master a new craft? Cook some special dish, sit on the twine or knit a sweater? Turn your dream into reality, avoiding the usual excuses about time, money, and what will not work out anyway. The first small victory over yourself will inspire you to go further. After all, how to get rid of an inferiority complex when life is gray, mundane and devoid of joy?
Rethink your environment
Sometimes it happens that, out of envy, seemingly close people are ready to support our feelings of inferiority. If acquaintances constantly remind you of your “not successes”, demonstrating your achievements, limit communication with them, you will not get anything but unpleasant sensations and an increase in the syndrome. Let there be those who are sincere and really care about you, and do not try to “rise” against your background.
Explore yourself
No theories and methods will help if you do not know what your strengths and weaknesses are, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you angry or sad. The more knowledge you have, the easier it will be to accept yourself the way you are. Believe me, there are no ideal people, just some manage to turn their shortcomings into advantages.
Conclusion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Do not forget to subscribe to updates and join groups in social networks, so as not to miss new articles. The topic of complexes is far from exhausted, we will have a lot of useful material and practical advice. Strength and patience to you in overcoming your fears and anxieties, as well as self-love and joy!
The material was prepared by Zhuravina Alina.