Where does love end, where does love begin?

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​The boundaries of love are our subjective signs and boundaries, within which, with all the variety of manifestations, we say that this is still love. And beyond the borders — no longer love.​​​​​

Love or not? But I love — or just invented and persuade myself? How to check if you are serious — is there love or not? What is between us — love or something else?

Let these boundaries of love be subjective and not always easily verified, but you need to know them. Sometimes they suggest very important things!

Household signs and common criteria

• Nice to touch or not

If it’s pleasant to touch, it’s not obvious that this is love, maybe just a pleasant person. But if it’s unpleasant to touch, there is no love here.

• Physical attraction.

At the first moment of the meeting, the unconscious impulse is “To you”, and you have to him. I want to watch (“I can’t look away”). I want to approach: “You are a magnet!”. It is difficult to leave, we come up with topics, what else to talk about, we come up with reasons to meet again. If this is not there, then there is no love. If there is, it is closer to love, although it can be just a quickly passing physical attraction.

• Soul attraction

Thoughts keep returning to what he said. What eyes and tender hands she had. Soul attraction really often speaks of love, but rather — of falling in love.

• Changing the vision of the world (see Lifeworld)

If the soul is inspired by the sight of a loved one or the memory of him, we love. If nothing special sounds in the soul, the eyes do not revive, the face is boring — it seems that love has passed. If a person appears, and the world becomes brighter and happier — close to love. If the world was what it was (for example, gray), it remains so — this is a person for you insignificant, unloved. However, if you have a holiday every day, then the appearance of your beloved will not change anything: you feel good both with him and with others. Sometimes this circumstance creates problems …

• What the soul sings

If what happens to a person, a person understands as love, most likely, he will consider it love and will. If he understands what is happening to him as a mental or physical illness, or in some other way, but not as love, it will be difficult to convince him. See →

• Where is the focus

If attention freely runs around things and people, not particularly lingering anywhere, not particularly singling out anyone, there is nothing significant for a person, including a loved one. If attention is riveted to something, something significant appears: beloved or terrible. Or terribly loved. A strong sign of love is a sharpened and not leaving attention — attention specifically to you. The power of love is measured in the distance at which you continue to feel (feel) your loved one nearby. The greater the distance, the stronger the love.

• Who cares

If a person says that he loves, but in reality he only cares about himself and his own, then it seems that he loves not you, but himself. If he cares about you, it’s not obvious that this is love, but closer. If he does it with real joy, this is already love (see →). How deep love is, how long it will last is another question.

• Position I + I or position WE

If a person looks at everything from his personal position and his interests, he still lives by himself and loves himself. If a person lives by common interests, it is much more like love. Even true love. See Love WE and love I plus I

Love and infatuation

When talking about the signs of love, people are actually more likely to talk about the signs of falling in love: about a living attraction that makes the other person desirable and beautiful. If a different question suddenly arises: is it love or falling in love, then the answers will be different. See →