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Hello, dear readers of the site! Learned helplessness is a phenomenon in which a person makes no attempt to change their life for the better.
And also suffers inconvenience, injustice and unpleasant moments, although it has all the necessary resources to end the torment and suffering.
A vivid example of the work of this phenomenon is Marya the Artificer from a children’s fairy tale familiar to many, who constantly, having been captured, repeated one phrase: «What will, what is not will — everything is one.»
And today we will try to figure out why this happens, and by what signs one can diagnose one’s tendency to victimization, that is, sacrifice.
Selingman experiment
In the 1960s, the American psychologist Martin Selingman decided to conduct an interesting study based on the scheme of Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, known to the world for his experiment on dogs.
As you understand, Martin had so-called human friends as subjects. He wanted, like his predecessor, to form a conditioned reflex in animals. Only if in the first case, after the sound signal, they received a piece of meat, then in the second, the unfortunate people were subjected to a small discharge of current.
Naturally, the dogs could not voluntarily endure the pain even by order, so they were fixed in one place with the help of a special harness. Which did not give them the slightest chance to run away and hide from merciless explorers.
During the experiment, 3 groups of subjects were identified. In the first, the animals were able to avoid the electric shock, which was conducted throughout the floor of the enclosure, by learning to press the switch with their noses. In the second group, they were deprived of such an opportunity, and in the third, they were not subjected to torment at all.
After a short amount of time, the dogs were transferred to other cages, where the current was supplied to only one side. That is, they had the opportunity to jump over the barrier that was installed in the middle and calmly accommodate themselves in the part where there are no discharges.
And do you know what the end result was? The subjects from group 2 remained in place, whimpering from the pain of electric shocks, while the participants of groups 1 and 3 immediately moved to a safe space in the cage.
Moreover, at the end of the experiment, those who made attempts to take care of themselves quickly returned to normal, both in terms of physical indicators and psychological ones.
But the dogs, showing complete submission to adverse conditions, fell into depression.
Their condition left much to be desired, and the resulting injuries made themselves felt for a long time. They lost faith in themselves, and even a year after the event they showed a low level of health against the background of post-traumatic syndrome.
Theory
Based on the results of the study, we can safely say that helplessness can be acquired as a result of negative experience. It is worth giving up at least once and, quite likely, this will affect the rest of your life.
Seligman’s theory completely contradicts the notions of motivation that have been proposed by the behaviorists. They argued that a living being will always resist pain and suffering, choosing less traumatic conditions of existence.
Martin also concluded that learned helplessness occurs when one has to systematically experience defeat, despite how much effort one had to make to win.
Also, with the realization that desires and decisions taken are not taken into account by the environment at all, and attempts to prove oneself end in punishment and pain.
For this discovery, the scientist received an award from the American Psychological Association in 1976. Examples of the manifestation of this phenomenon surround in the daily life of each of us.
Forced helplessness is when a neighbor is periodically beaten by her husband after drinking, but she does not leave him. After all, he is a wonderful father, and in general, when sober, it doesn’t get better in the world.
This is when a friend does not quit and endures for moments the illogical demands of the manager to stay overtime and work on legal weekends, because the deadlines are burning, but the project must be handed over.
And from the outside, it seems to us that the way out is obvious — just get a divorce, find another job and live, enjoying every moment. But, alas, forced helplessness, like a swamp, gradually deprives us of any confidence in the favorable outcome of change.
Evidence
Passivity
Such a person almost never takes responsibility for any actions and does not take the initiative, wanting, for example, to achieve change.
He is passive, inert and tends to go with the flow. Sometimes it seems that he does not only care about what is happening in the world, but also in his own life.
If you entrust him with work, he will cope with his duties, and very well. But he himself will never offer his services, despite the understanding that he is quite competent in a certain issue.
Naturally, with such a passive life position, people with learned helplessness syndrome do not become leaders. They are simply unable to lead and make decisions.
Patience
Despite the discomfort, it will remain in the same conditions, showing the so-called resistance to frustration.
And if in some moments it helps to achieve the desired and success in principle, then in the case of representatives of this phenomenon, on the contrary, it deprives them of joy and satisfaction.
Because it’s overkill and unjustified. To put it in a metaphor, it’s like holding a finger over a fire and waiting for it to go out on its own and not hurt so much. Instead of withdrawing your hand, maintaining the integrity of the skin as soon as discomfort arose.
Therefore, too patient individuals never defend their rights. What can we say if they do not declare discomfort at all, deciding to withstand it as long as there is strength. Or while alive.
Conformity
That is, the tendency to listen to the opinion of the majority, abandoning one’s position, values and desires. A conforming person believes that the interests of others are more important than him, which is why he easily makes sacrifices even for the sake of unfamiliar people.
He will never allow himself to enter into an argument, so he will give up before the start of the conflict, even if aggression was shown towards him. To endure, to be silent is the only type of response in such situations that exists in his perception.
Procrastination
Procrastination is the tendency to put off important things until the last minute. A person is anxious, worried and ponders the details of the upcoming work, but does not start active actions.
It is more inherent in students who usually prepare for the session and exams directly at night, the day before, instead of gradually studying the necessary material during the lecture period.
The psychology of a person with helplessness syndrome is such that he can understand exactly what steps should be taken in order to finally get rid of suffering and change his life for the better, but he postpones vigorous activity for an indefinite period.
That is, he can think about everything literally every day, suffer from insomnia amid reflections, but remain in the same place.
Low self-esteem
Naturally, a person who ignores his own needs, believing that the opinions of others in the first place, has low self-esteem.
After all, how can you feel respect for yourself if every time you sacrifice your interests for the benefit of who knows what and who? Holding back irritation and disappointment amid dissatisfaction?
In this case, only thoughts about one’s own insignificance and weak will arise, and they form not the most pleasant feelings and sensations.
Methods for overcoming the syndrome
Act
Even if you don’t believe in a successful outcome, take some action anyway, just don’t lose heart. Otherwise, nothing really good will happen.
One psychologist named Bruno Bettelheim invented a wonderful way that allows you to feel in your hands the power for your life and freedom of choice. Do you know under what conditions he came up with this method? In the camps.
The guards abused the prisoners as their fantasy allowed. And they often punished them just like that, coming up with completely ridiculous rules that they had to adhere to.
This broke the spirit of the unfortunate, they quickly lost the will to live and obeyed unquestioningly, if only the torment would end as soon as possible.
Then Bruno proposed his rule: to do everything that is not prohibited. That is, to regain at least a little control over your life. For example, instead of discussing rumors with the rest of the prisoners, you can go to bed. Or do not sleep, but dream when the lights out sounded.
When a person has a choice, he feels himself a person, significant and weighty. After all, the result will depend on how he decides.
The best tool in the fight against forced helplessness. Act within your freedom, even if it is very limited. And then gradually you will regain your faith in yourself and decide to change.
Change your lifestyle
American psychologists Ellen Langer and Judith Roden conducted a study on people with limited freedom to test Bettelheim’s theory. The subjects were prisoners in prison, residents of a nursing home and visitors to a homeless shelter.
So, the first category was allowed to choose the menu and arrange the furniture in the cell in the way you like best. They later turned out to be less aggressive than the rest, deprived of such a right.
Elderly people could choose a movie or TV show, get a houseplant, and furnish the room the way they wanted.
In connection with such freedom of action, their vitality increased, and Alzheimer’s disease, in which cognitive skills suffer, in particular, memory is gradually lost, stopped its development.
The homeless, who received the right to choose the menu and bed in the shelter, adapted faster and found work.
So, try rearranging the room, think about what exactly you would like to do on the weekend and what kind of dinner to cook? Start with small changes, and then gradually you will move on to more significant changes in your lifestyle.
Boost your self-esteem
Forced helplessness is a private companion with low self-esteem. So the first thing to do is start working on yourself. Do you remember when you were able to achieve the desired goals? What qualities did you rely on? What skills do you have?
Do not be lazy and write down each item on a piece of paper. When you have a whole list of virtues in front of your eyes, it will be more difficult for you to devalue your own efforts and qualities.
Completion
Selingman’s dogs had no choice, they were tied up and forced to experience electric shocks. You do have a choice. So do it. Change comes only when a person changes his actions and thoughts. If he lives in the old way, where will they come from?
Whether it’s learned, learned, or whatever your helplessness is, fight it.
Be happy and free in spirit!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina