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Hello dear blog readers! In Russia, there is no analogue to the word slut shaming, but the meaning that it carries is known to many women. Translated from English, it sounds like slate — a whore, shaming — to shame.
That is, to condemn for the fact that the girl dresses or behaves too “freely”. Only the concept of freedom of expression is different for everyone, which is why such unpleasant situations arise.
And today we will try to take a closer look at what this means, and also why women who are just trying to be real, devoid of prejudice, are criticized and even harassed.
When does it appear?
Slutshaming usually manifests itself from adolescence, when a girl wants to be beautiful, in some cases like a mother. Yes, just seem at least for themselves more mature. And begins to be interested in cosmetics. And he hears a refusal, because “everyone will think that you are a whore, because at your age they still don’t put on makeup.”
Or, for example, a mother supports her daughter’s desire and interest, buys something for her, teaches her how to use it, and a father, who has more conservative views, reproaches her at every opportunity. Blaming for the slightest mistakes with the fact that «here, admire, raised, raised.»
So, forming, growing up, she can either declare war on all those who tried to shame her and deliberately put on something defiant, or vice versa, take off more, exposing her body.
Or it can “fall out” into the imposed shame and choose clothes that will not leave even a hint of femininity and sexuality.
Balance
It’s hard enough to catch the invisible line between «just sexy» and «like a prostitute.» Since the society itself usually decides where the stick was overdone, and where, on the contrary, it was not bent enough.
Dual messages confuse women. It is necessary to look attractive enough, otherwise it will not be possible to create a family and you will have to “sit in girls”. It turned out that she was too attractive, which is why others consider her a lost soul, stupid and licentious.
Paradox, you know what? The fact that you can be beautiful, modest, even lonely for a long time and still experience the condemnation of other women who perceive it as a rival and are ready to do a lot to win the competition, even if they tarnish their reputation with rumors.
And also from men whom she dared to refuse. Not every guy is capable of realizing and accepting anger and disappointment, annoyance, which is why he realizes negative emotions with a simple word: “whore”.
sexual relations
Feminists have long been raising this exciting topic. Why is a man who has had a lot of partners considered handsome and a heartthrob, but a woman with exactly the same number of sexual victories is considered a prostitute?
Surprisingly, the desire to have sex in guys is perceived as quite natural, instinctive, natural. Girls should want to go to bed only for a good cause.
For example, because they want a child, a relationship, or even get married. Just like that, for the sake of pleasure, she does not seem to have the right to sleep with someone. These stereotypes are gradually collapsing, but still have a place to be.
Stars
The most prominent victim of slut shaming is Kim Kardashian. She is proud of her body, not ashamed of it. And at every opportunity, she tries to share her beautiful forms with the fans and the world as a whole.
But society does not always react the way it would like. She is condemned, she is sometimes mocked. But this certainly does not stop Kim, she continues to post her nude and semi-nude photos on Instagram and Twitter.
Having answered the offenders that she is absolutely not going to depend on the opinions of people who have problems directly with her sexuality. She performs a lot of social roles and has every right to be real, free from prejudice and various stereotypes.
Emily Ratkowski, a famous model who became famous after Robina Tricke’s «Blurred lines» video in which she starred bare-breasted (official version) supports Kardashian’s views on female beauty.
She continues to openly display her sexuality, stating that she regrets not doing it sooner. Because now she understands that the problems are not with her, but with those who condemn her.
Amber Rose, another fashion model, urges girls not to be ashamed of the fact that they had many sexual partners. She is a feminist and zealously defends the right to be naked, because a naked male torso does not cause a wave of bewilderment or condemnation in anyone. So why do ladies have to hide their virtues?
Only now the singer Pink does not share their opinion. She offered to achieve success with the help of her other features and skills, so that there was no need to undress for these purposes.
#nakedassphilosophers
Not every girl is able, like Kim, to proudly declare her merits. Why, mostly on Instagram, they expose half-naked bodies along with some phrase that is quite deep in meaning.
It looks ridiculous: a beach, a bikini and «this is the meaning of our stay on earth: to think and look and listen to the distant disappeared sounds.»
But they cannot afford to do otherwise. Otherwise, under the photo there will be comments not about how beautiful they are, but accusations that they are simply looking for a sponsor. Because flaunting a figure is vulgar.
This is where excuses come in. As if the photo was taken by chance and put on public display only because it fits perfectly in the meaning of the above-mentioned phrase, which I really wanted to share with the world.
Bloggers and active users of various social networks simply doomed such ladies with the hashtag #nakedassphilosophers.
Sexuality in psychology
The origins of this behavior is that every person wants love, wants to be praised, paid attention to him. From that you have to follow generally accepted standards, listen to someone else’s opinion, ignoring your own. In general, being obedient, it gives a chance to «deserve» love.
Do you know what it is, sexuality in psychology? This is the personal property of a person and it manifests itself in contact, interaction with others. The energy that arises along with interest, excitement, the desire to touch, to approach, to be open.
Yes, not everyone can afford to be naked and soul, situations are different. It is easier for someone to undress and show the body than to talk about something personal. Someone, on the contrary, can give out all the secrets and secrets, becoming completely defenseless, but not allowing the world to see even a “piece” of a naked body.
It is important to learn how to maintain a balance, between «not enough» and «too much». To feel inner harmony and happiness. Try to read this article, maybe it will be useful for you.
Completion
Finally, I want to recommend that you watch the movie Malena, which displays slut shaming in full glory.
The main character, played by Monica Bellucci, has unprecedented beauty, charm and sexuality. Residents of the entire town did not remain indifferent to her. The male half of her desperately desired, and the female hated.
Moreover, Malena herself did not behave defiantly. She has very little dialogue in the picture, as well as actions. She just was, which caused an avalanche of insults and aggression.
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Take care of yourself and, of course, be happy! And also share in the comments how you feel about this phenomenon. It is very interesting to know your opinion.
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina