Almost all of us in our youth live in anticipation of a great future. Although specific ideas about it change, they change often, almost every day. But the premonition itself invariably returns. It, in essence, is at that moment the content, meaning and purpose in one bottle.
Almost all of us in our youth live in anticipation of a great future. Although specific ideas about it change, they change often, almost every day. But the premonition itself invariably returns. It, in essence, is at that moment the content, meaning and purpose in one bottle.
Meanwhile, the choice of a way of daily existence, a favorite place on the globe, a family structure, a definition of a profession is often influenced by random circumstances or the preferences of loved ones. Sometimes books, films or idols play a role in this. We easily appropriate both the one and the other, and the fourth, and after a while we are sincerely sure that we ourselves want this, that we want this.
Time passes, everything somehow happens, more or less according to plan, more or less successfully. They don’t pay much, but the work is exciting. The work is not very interesting, but the money is decent. I wasn’t too lucky with both, but the profession is popular (many envy), my colleagues are wonderful, almost like a second family.
By the way, about the family. If a slender blonde appeared in wet dreams, and a stocky brunette became his wife, this is easily explained by the stereotypes that were imposed by serials and glossy magazines (and this every now and then corresponds to reality). The apartment is not the highest class, the situation is modest, the area is not the one you dreamed about — it will come with time. Well, if a girl was born instead of a boy, we won’t love her less because of this. Although the thought of a son with whom he dreamed of going fishing, nails from time to time. Will have to try again. Not now, of course.
One way or another, we all the time unwittingly compare the life that has happened with the ideal, reserved plan that settled or worked out in the head back in the years of youth, or even adolescence or childhood. Meanwhile, at this time, a person is most dependent on those around him precisely in his tastes, feelings and ideas, he is most suggestible. Over the years, we ourselves begin to understand this, the pressure of the ideal plan is weakening, but internally, with its help, we continue to measure our successes and failures.
This is a common thing, and a person gradually gets used to the drama of such a state. There is no tragedy in this. Life is ruled by chance, and this has its own charm. We acquire connections, new attachments, new addictions. According to the plan, everything would have turned out boring.
But there are crises in life, and most often — with people who are the most purposeful and true to their children’s decisions. A person does not always immediately understand: what happened to him? It seems that he did everything as he wanted and as he planned, and the successes are obvious. But suddenly the work becomes boring and even unbearable. The same, once beloved work. And the family is sad — I don’t want to go home in the evening. Even chatting with friends began to weigh. They all strive for something, but the criteria for their achievements become uninteresting to him and the rules seem far-fetched. That’s not the point, I want to say all the time, that’s not the point! And in what?
And then it turns out that, acting, it would seem, according to his own plans and ideas, he built not his own — someone else’s life. Sometimes it helps to understand the circumstances. On a romantic wave of love for literature, he began to write books. Then the halo of writing faded, the publication of books became available, only money was no longer paid for them. But he had been collecting rare typewriters all his life — from the bulky Underwood to the flat, plastic Olympia. Previously, the dream of owning a shop was impossible, but now it is possible. And it’s better not here, but in the States, which he also dreamed of for a long time. His friend, a poet, retrained as a householder. For several years he has been building his own house and helping his neighbors. Around the forest. Nature is his calling. It used to not pass by a bush, flower or blade of grass, so as not to call by name and not to tell about their «habits».
The guy graduated from the psychology faculty. The profession was prestigious, parents were psychologists, and in general it was interesting. Then I came across the fact that school psychologists, for example, receive meager money. I realized that he didn’t really believe in the power of this science either — Dostoevsky, without a special education, understood people better. Went to make furniture. His grandfather invented miracles on a makeshift workbench, and he always liked working with wood. It would be even better to go into programmers. With a computer, he was avid friends and knew his temper. If only I had thought of it sooner!
My friend’s wife met her high school love. I thought it was over, but no. And now, after twenty years of family life, she decided to drastically change the plot, that is, return to her own, the present. Her husband (a rare case) realized that this was not about a romantic whim and not about treason.
Such situations happen often, and it is not a third-party matter to evaluate: has a person changed, could not stand the competition, or gone crazy? After all, there is always the possibility that it was back to himself.