Where the babies come from? What kind of relationship is developing between a man and a woman? And why are boys different from girls? We try to avoid these questions from children. But someday the conversation will take place, and you need to be ready for it in advance.
Many parents are interested in the question of how and when to start talking with children about the peculiarities of sexual relations. In recent years, the standards of sex education, together with aspects of developmental psychology, have changed markedly. And now stories about storks and cabbage in a child will cause at least distrust, and even laughter.
– Now you should not leave the child in the dark, as children can get answers to questions of interest about sex life from various media (and they will provide information in a distorted or perverted form). Therefore, sex education should be carried out as early as possible, adapting children to modern society, says psychologist Tatyana Grishaeva.
Psychologists advise to touch on the topic of sex little by little and start explaining when the baby first notices that his body is different from the opposite sex. This usually occurs at the age of 3-4 years. At the same time, adults do not need to smile shyly and translate the topic. On the contrary, you are given a great chance to build a trusting dialogue with your child. Your communication on this topic will last for many years, and it will be good if the child learns to openly and without hesitation discuss all the issues of interest.
The first love happens in kindergarten
At this time, the baby is not yet able to perceive complex information, therefore, the question of where children come from can be answered in the form of a fairy tale about a prince and a princess (or directly about mom and dad) who met and fell in love with each other. Since at this age the leading activity of children is a game, we focus on this. It’s too early to go into details, but it’s not worth talking about storks either. The child must understand that he was born out of your mutual love, when you decided to live together and start a family. Any distorted information can affect the consciousness of the baby and negatively affect his perception of family relationships and intimate life in the future.
When the child grows up and requires details, be sure to explain to him that if a man and a woman love each other, they decide to have a baby. To do this, mom gives his cage, and dad his own, so that the baby looks like both of them. These two cells are first found in the mother’s tummy, where the baby slowly grows, and when it becomes big enough, it is taken out of the mother’s tummy. As you can see, there is nothing supernatural in this story, but you have already explained almost everything, and now the child will not have any questions for a while.
Take special care when your child starts school. Modern children are very open-minded, they can talk about any topic without hesitation. Therefore, you can expect questions about sex life as early as elementary school. And here it is very important not to shy away from answers, since now children enter the stage of puberty a little earlier, and they are trying to find answers to questions about what is happening to their body.
For many girls, the menstrual cycle begins as early as 9-10 years old, puberty in boys occurs even earlier. And parents must necessarily talk about all this with their children, at least so that they are not afraid and understand that all their feelings are completely normal and natural.
There is no need to rely on sex education in school. No matter how lucidly the teacher explains in the class, no one can do it better than mom and dad. After all, whatever one may say, questions about sex life are something intimate, and it is better to talk about it face to face in a calm atmosphere. It is easier for a girl to talk about her feelings with her mother, and for a boy to discuss all issues with her dad.
Contraception issues become relevant for adolescents
The older the child gets, the more information he needs. Here, philosophical conversations cannot be dispensed with. But to ease the plight of parents in such a delicate matter, there is a lot of excellent literature. Encyclopedias on sexuality can supplement the sexual education of adolescents in a rather voluminous way, since they explain in detail and intelligibly various aspects of sexual relations. Feel free to buy such an encyclopedia for your son or daughter. You can read it together or just periodically discuss questions that the child does not understand.
You shouldn’t sigh with relief and think that now all the talk about sex is over. Try to keep this door open between you and your baby. So that a son or daughter can always turn to you in a confidential conversation for advice and help. Since we all perfectly understand that questions about sexuality, especially in terms of health and childbirth, never end. And it is very important to have a person with whom you can talk about any exciting topic, even the most intimate one.
Read about how to behave at the most difficult age of the child on page 2.
Hormonal explosions often lead to nervous breakdowns in adolescents
This is the most sensitive age for a child – the beginning of puberty. The concentration of sex hormones increases, secondary sexual characteristics appear. The onset of puberty in girls is characterized by their increased nervousness, tearfulness, dysmorphophobia – a fickle aggravated dissatisfaction with their appearance.
Most critical adolescence. This is a very serious and responsible age for boys and girls. They need to be prepared for this age, in pedagogy it is called a “difficult age”.
In girls, an egg begins to be ejected, and the first menstruation appears, monthly changes (conflicts) occur in the central nervous system. The subcortex commands: “Fertilize” – an egg is released, but the cortex does not allow: “Still a child herself,” as a result, the body responds with nervous breakdowns, scandals, depression.
This state of girls persists for life, but in adulthood they know how to cope with it, control themselves, know about their condition, try to do something so as not to spoil themselves and those living next to them. And teenage girls need help, tell how to cope with it …
With boys it is even more difficult, they rebuild not only the whole body, but also the central nervous system. They do not understand what is happening to them, some new desires appear, what to do with them … Whoever is next to – who prompts what, will succeed. And in the modern world, parents constantly do not have time: they are always busy, they work a lot, amusing themselves with ideas that they are fulfilling an important mission – they earn money for the family.
Take care of your children and remember that they are the most important thing that we have!
Interview
Are you ready to talk to your child about sex?
No. This is too personal a topic, I can’t even imagine how to approach it.
We’ve already talked. The child told a lot of new things ?
Now I understand that it’s time to start raising this difficult topic.
I talked and will continue to talk. Nothing to be ashamed of, everything is natural!