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All of us, with rare exceptions, want prosperity, comfort, material wealth and make efforts to possess it. But for some, money and things become the main meaning of life. How do you become a materialist? And do they manage to find happiness?
Both low-income people and millionaires can put material values at the forefront. But they are all driven by an unmet need for security, argues materialist psychologist Tim Kasser.
He uses the term “materialism” not in the usual sense of “the doctrine of the primacy of matter”, but in the sense of “priority of material goods”. This can be seen both as a symptom of inner self-doubt and as a coping strategy (albeit not always effective) used by those who are trying to get rid of the painful feeling of anxiety.
What creates a sense of insecurity?
Family parenting style
A number of psychological studies, including Tim Kasser’s own research, confirm that a less caring and attentive parenting style causes a child to experience self-doubt and pursue materialistic goals in later life.
Parents of overly materialistic teenagers share three characteristics:
- They overly control their children, if not treat them like property, in the belief that they are unable to take care of themselves.
- If a child misbehaves, severe penalties are applied.
- They behave inconsistently: the rules and punishments are used by them without any system understandable to the child.
In general, these parents do not make every effort to ensure that their children feel secure and self-sufficient. And those, in turn, begin to pursue material goals, believing that it is their achievement that will help them receive the much-desired approval.
Parental status
It is generally accepted that the richer the parents, the more self-serving the child, since children from wealthy families have everything they can wish for, and at the same time they want even more. However, research shows that this is not the case.
When a child is not sure that he will be fed dinner tomorrow, that he will have a roof over his head, and that he can safely go out without fear, this often leads to a chronic feeling of insecurity. This feeling can last a lifetime and, even if the financial situation stabilizes, still manifests itself in clear materialistic tendencies.
Parental divorce
Research by Arik Rindfleisch and colleagues has shown that a child usually receives less love and care as a result of a divorce.1. Trying to fill this gap and feel safe, protected and connected with the close ties around them, children begin to actively pursue materialistic goals, believing that wealth will provide them with this.
Insecurity and low self-esteem
As already mentioned, materialists often grow up in families with a rigid parenting style. Such an environment usually negatively affects a person’s self-esteem. Not surprisingly, materialistic values are often combined with low self-esteem.
If such a person achieves his goals – makes a career, earns a million – he has positive feelings for himself. But, alas, they are short-lived, and his self-esteem is unstable. Soon he will face new challenges and threats that can easily “drop” his self-esteem.
This is the so-called conditional self-esteem, which depends on external factors such as money, status, admiration of others.
The trouble is, Tim Kasser concludes, the pursuit of materialistic values is a very inefficient coping strategy. This strategy may improve your psychological well-being in the short term, but in the long run only exacerbates the feeling of insecurity.
It does not promote deep relationships with other people, although such relationships are signs of mental health and a high quality of life.
1 A. Rindfleisch et al. «Family structure, materialism, and compulsive consumption». Journal of Consumer Research, 1997, № 23.