When can a child go to school alone?

After quarantine, something has changed in our yards. It’s not the same as it was in the summer months of past years, but the changes are subtly reminiscent of Soviet childhood… Children are walking in the yards again. Lots of kids of all ages.

This is not only a baby with grandmothers, mothers and nannies – you can always see them. And not even languishing puberty teenagers who spend their evenings at children’s and sports grounds. Children of 9-12 years old are running around the district and – really ?! — even play something like hide and seek.

Usually in the summer they were at the dachas and in the camp. Quarantine messed up the cards, many parents lost their summer holidays, and the camps did not start work. During the spring, the children may have played enough on computers and tablets – and now they began to rush, as we once did, with the whole crowd, enthusiastically hiding, catching up, “shooting back” and remembering almost forgotten games with the help of their elders.

A moment of nostalgia

I grew up in Moscow and went to school in the mid-eighties. From the age of 7, I, a house girl, was allowed to play in the yard, and in the first grade, together with my girlfriends, I went to and from school on my own. Younger guys, six-year-olds and even five-year-olds, with the same keys around their necks, rushed around with us. Grandmothers at the entrance knew everyone by name and often informed their parents who ran to burn a fire in the wasteland, and who fell from the swing and tore his pants.

In the 3s, we already provided our children with cell phones and were nervous if the subscriber was unavailable. Children began to be escorted to school until the 5rd or 11th grade, they were allowed to go to the subway alone after 12-XNUMX years. GPS bracelets and applications have appeared that help parents control their child and believe that thanks to this they are relatively safe.

Reflections on the topic “there were fewer criminals in our time” seem unproductive to me, because there was also less awareness, but tragic cases always happened. There comes a time in every parent’s life when it’s time to start letting go. These are normal steps towards independent living. But when is the right time to let a son or daughter go to school alone?

When is it time?

Obviously, this directly depends on many factors. And yet – is there a point of reference for those who asked such a question? The participants in our survey gave their answers. The main conclusions are:

• In Moscow and St. Petersburg, children are usually released alone at the age of about 10 years.
• In smaller cities, this age is shifting, and first-graders are already going to school and walking on their own.
• If there is an older brother or sister, the younger child is released earlier
• Girls are accompanied by their parents until they reach adulthood.
• Much depends on the nature of the child and the distance, the complexity of the path.

What do parents think?

“It depends on a combination of factors: terrain, security in the region, area, skills and characteristics of the child. For example, we moved to another area when our son was 7 years old. At 6 he walked in our yard. In the new district, they were allowed to walk on their own at the age of 10-11.”

“My daughter has been walking with a GPS phone near the house since she was 7 years old. To school – then, if nearby, it is better without crossing the road.

“From about 10 years old, but I have boys, I know many parents who don’t let girls out at all, and, quite likely, they are right.”

“The first thing that surprised me in Kazan was six-year-old children walking in the yard without adults, and with eight-year-olds they can already let the younger ones, four years old, go for a walk. Of course, some neighbor grandmothers always sit on a bench, but these are not native grandmothers and not parents. Or second-graders in the underground passage of the Kazan metro, who went to some competitions and chose pies and buns in the stall, also without any adults. I don’t remember when I saw even 10-year-old children in St. Petersburg without adults, and my friends said that children without adults simply would not be released from school … ”

“We have been walking somewhere since the age of 4, but we are in Switzerland.”

“I can say that this is allowed at school from the age of 10, with the written consent of the parents.”

“I have two. Weather. They themselves began to go to class from the third, the younger, respectively, from the second. And to the store, since it is in our own house. We wanted to teach independence early.”

“Mine rarely walks in the courtyard of our house in Moscow alone. I started somewhere at 7. Now he is 9, so far I don’t allow him to go to school alone through the roads. If I went to school in our yard, I would start from seven. But our elevator is weird sometimes, so I think that I would meet him at the entrance. The new school is so far away that I will drive myself for another 11-12 years.

“If you delay the moment of “letting go”, then the child may decide that the world is too dangerous”

Ekaterina Klochkova, psychologist

The possibilities of the child every day become greater – he gets smarter, becomes stronger, more independent, develops responsibility, critical thinking and a healthy desire for independence. It is logical that at some point he will become quite independent so that he can be released first to a school in a neighboring yard, and then, a few years later, to preparatory courses at the other end of the city.

If this moment of “letting go” is overdone, then the child may decide that the world is too dangerous (why else is he not released alone?), he is weaker than his peers (why are they released, but he is not?), or, for example, that he affairs are more important than mother’s (which may be a symptom of a violation of the hierarchy in the family, when the needs of the child are always a priority).

It is very difficult to correctly determine this moment, because the older generation reminds caring parents: “Something you are not right, now in our time … And even earlier … Wow, Lomonosov himself came to Moscow, because he was drawn to knowledge, and nothing happened to him.” And on the other hand, the historical situation dictates otherwise – the road can run through deserted or roadless areas, there may be unregulated pedestrian crossings along the way, etc.

And the moment of granting independence to the child will depend on the amount of resources in the family (can the mother allocate time, does the grandmother live nearby or do the parents have money for a nanny), the ability of the boy or girl to take responsibility for themselves and the level of anxiety in the family (if it is too high , then the family may not notice that the child is already ready).

How to understand that you have not “overexposed” the child on accompaniment? Look at the number of his classmates who live at a similar distance from the school and go to it themselves. Usually the child is ready to report them himself with the phrase: “Well, ma-a-am, here is Petya (Vasya, Kolya, Zina) already go to school and from school, and you me …”. If there are enough of them, then that’s it, then you can already think about changing the strategy.

Now it’s time to think about safety rules

1. The road to school should not be too difficult for the age of the child and should not contain dangerous sections.

2. The road to school must be learned and repeated enough times with adults.

3. It is important to give the child instructions in case of all sorts of surprises: what to do, where to look for help, how to tell parents.

4. When the child walks for the first time, it would be good for an adult to follow him and his behavior on key sections of the path. Some parents ask adults who are unfamiliar to the child to come up to him on the way and offer to go with him – the child’s refusal will convince them that everything is in order and there is no need to worry.