When and how to introduce children to household chores

First: it is interesting to think about when it is worth thinking about responsibilities and introducing them into family life.

I think that it is useful to establish responsibilities if the family has a hectic life, full of unpredictable turns — or just intense enough that you want to somehow streamline it or have something to rely on. Imagine: parents work, sometimes they work at home, and they also have huge plans for the weekend, and grandparents need help; or — serious projects and commitments, and — to meet the deadlines; there are several children, each with their own circles and activities that you want to be in time for, plus lessons, plus it’s great to meet friends, and not just communicate via the Internet. Or this option: mom is a person who is not very organized, takes a great interest, and it is difficult for her to remember what things should be done when; she starts something — and switches to another, third … In other words, if your life is quite chaotic, then the distribution of responsibilities will help make it more calm and comfortable for everyone. You will be sure that, no matter what, the toothpaste in the house will not run out, the socks will be washed, and the flowers will be watered. And maybe you even have time to read a book at night. Such confidence is very warm and supportive.

On the other hand, if your life flows slowly, and the main events are “what the baby and I drew today” or “what we had for dinner”, then maybe you don’t need any responsibilities? Because there may not be responsibilities in a family — if everyone treats all matters as their own, and simply sees what is needed — and does it. We do not divide our affairs into mine and yours, and, in this sense, we seem to live without duties. But it can be said in another way: we have all the responsibilities — common, and we do everything together.

In any case, for any of these approaches to work, children need to be able to do the tasks that you would like them to do (I hope that adults already know how). The best strategy for achieving this is to start doing everything with children as early as possible. Just connect them to any of your affairs. In the end, our affairs are also games, only for adults.

At what age should children be included in something useful for the household? The sooner the better. In the region of the year, children already want to behave like adults, and begin to host. Moms with experience know that the best toys for yearlings are real, «adult» things. So give them these things instead of toys, and show them what you can do with them. Of course, let’s give something that the little ones can master: they can already bring you laundry for washing — and put it in the washing machine. They themselves will be able to wash handkerchiefs or other small things in a bowl of warm water. By the way, you probably know that soaring your feet helps with a cold? And the same effect — from soaring hands. So, instead of sitting an older child with his feet in a basin, you may well let him wash or wash dishes in hot enough water. The main thing is to quickly wrap it up.

In general, deciding when to involve a child in work for the benefit of the family depends not so much on the age of the child, but on how skillful he is, that is, whether you have already taught him or not. General dexterity and skill are developed not only in work, but also on the playground, in games, drawing and modeling, in rope jumping and swimming. But if you develop a child only in this vein, never entrusting affairs with a vacuum cleaner or a kettle, he will be more useless in your household than that same kettle, and it’s good if he doesn’t turn into a vacuum cleaner that only pulls everything out of you.

All parents seem to know that children need to be taught to work. And how many do it? Why so little? The reason is simple — parents do not have time for this. That is, parents do not have time, because the children do not help, and you have to do everything yourself, but in order for the children to start helping, they need to be taught this, and this again takes time. A vicious circle … And what to do? To do the main thing, that is, to accustom children to household chores. Seriously, there is no task to feed the child, the real task is to teach him to feed himself. It doesn’t matter how old your child is, set yourself the main task — to involve him in household chores. Give him any assignment — but it should be his housework. And after he masters it and gets used to it — that is, in a month — give him the following assignment. In a year, your child will already have twelve of his cases, that is, you will have fewer cases, and your child will really begin to grow up.

And it’s not at all necessary to hand over things to a child in an atmosphere of seriousness or, even more so, tension: it can be a fun activity and a game, something that you have fun with with him. Washing dishes together is fun! Go shopping together — cheers, a fun excursion and a whole adventure! And you can take out the bucket, competing with yourself for speed …

At first, provide exactly joy, not particularly finding fault with the quality of work. It is you who teaches to do things, and the child just plays. And until the age of 9-10, it is important for him not what he did, but whether his parents were delighted, whether they noticed. He will pay attention to the quality of work later, when he has already learned to do really well and excellently: it is excellent to cut bread and make salad.

There is another secret: if you yourself know how to do things deftly, then most likely you do them with pleasure. And this pleasure is noticed at home, infected with it and want the same. Remember Tom Sawyer? So learn to find pleasure in household chores yourself, or at least joy in how great it is when these things are done. Master this skill — and it will be much easier for you to introduce children to work.

Good luck to you!