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When and how best to get out of the decree: advice for mothers
If you also do not want to break away from your beloved child and return to the office, read this …
According to sociologists, more than half of women who have gone on maternity leave go to work because of the desire for self-realization. However, there are those who categorically refuse to return. Three mothers honestly answered the question why the prospect of going to work in the future causes them genuine horror. Perhaps you will recognize yourself in these heroines.
Natalya Maltseva is a resident of a small Siberian town. She always made good money. And not just good, but very good. About 3-4 times more than her husband. Someone will say that the girl was just lucky: after high school she got into a good company, quickly began to move up the career ladder, and at the same time she was able to open her own small business (she invested in a flower salon). However, luck was luck, but Natasha really worked a lot. Her strong point is multitasking and the ability to quickly navigate diametrically opposed projects. The bosses highly appreciated this quality and paid well. And at 34, Natalya became pregnant.
Natalia’s husband saw in her only a successful business woman and did not notice her loving mother
It was planned, calculated and well integrated into the work schedule. A valuable employee with vast experience planned to go to work about six months after giving birth. A nanny has already been found, a special work schedule has been drawn up, taking into account feeding breaks, and remote access to e-mail has been opened. Everything was going well until Natasha finally realized that she categorically did not want to leave the decree.
“I couldn’t leave the baby and I didn’t want to do it,” the girl admits. – When they congratulated me on my newborn, they said that this was my best project. Of course, they were joking, but I suddenly realized that I had become a business woman so terribly programmed for success that I carefully entered even my child into the work and made it only “the best project of the year”. It was terrifying! And I also realized that I was tired of working at such a pace and did not want to leave the decree. I don’t want to, period. I have savings, I have a project as a hobby (flower salon), and most importantly, I have the right to be on maternity leave for the prescribed three years. Yes! And no one can take this opportunity away from me! “
However, Natalia’s husband strongly disagreed with his wife. At first, he arranged heart-to-heart conversations, trying to explain to his wife that her absence from the workplace would have a bad effect on her future career, and it would be more and more difficult to “get into the rhythm” every month, and then he began to raise his voice and even blackmail.
“I shouted that I would turn from a successful businesswoman into an ordinary“ mother ”, that nothing but saucepans. I will not see that the child is not the end of life and I urgently need to return. Having gone through several similar scandals, I was upset at first, and then filed for divorce. If my own husband perceives me as a source of stable income, which he temporarily lost, and not a caring mother for a baby – why do I need such a man? By the way, there is a year left until the end of my three-year decree, but I am thinking about not going to my previous job at all, especially since I recently received an interesting offer from another company. The salary is higher there, and some of the work can be done remotely. So let’s wait and see, ”Natalya sums up.
“I will give birth in order not to work”
Elena Titova from Khabarovsk has a different story. Before going on maternity leave, she worked “for her own pleasure.” At least, this is what the girl called both the schedule of employment and the salary received. Lena had neither the need nor the desire to plow days and nights. The spouse held a good position, the parents helped financially. That is why the girl did not worry when employers asked her to write a letter of resignation for another delay and leave the office without two weeks’ work. Lena got pregnant easily. On maternity leave, she left a small wholesale company, threatening the director that if she was fired, she would immediately go to the Labor Inspectorate. Therefore, for lateness and whims, everyone, sighing, simply began to close their eyes, and when the time came, they sent Lena on maternity leave with a light heart.
Elena decided that it is better to move from maternity leave to maternity leave than returning to work
“After I gave birth, I immediately asked my husband to hire a nanny for the child, since it was difficult to cope with all the responsibilities on my own. The husband agreed. No one stuttered that he wanted to send me to work. But as soon as Amelia turned 1,5, her husband stunned him with the phrase: “Well, that’s great! I found a kindergarten for, so that you can gradually go to the office. First for a couple of hours, then for a full day. ” Explaining that I did not plan to work (at least until my daughter was three years old, and in the future never at all) did not work. The husband was stern and adamant. He said that my work somehow stimulated me to live according to the regime and be responsible, but in the decree I put all the duties on the nanny, and I myself live like the Jumping Dragonfly, – Lena was indignant. – But I don’t want to go to work! I decided to give birth again. The first birth was easy for me, and my husband’s income is enough for at least four children. Now I am pregnant with the second. True, when my husband found out about this, he was not particularly happy. He even tried to say that children for me are just an instrument of a free life. But these words were parallel to me. Knew: popsihvat and calm down. But now a new decree is shining for me, which will again last at least up to a year and a half, and then I’ll see if I’ll go to work or become pregnant again. Life will show”.
Working after maternity leave is not just about the office
And the third story took place in the suburbs. Although theoretically it could have happened in any city in the country. And most likely it is happening there, just Irina from Zheleznodorozhny wrote to us about this. Before the decree, the girl worked in one of the large banks. Kept accounts of legal entities. She made good money. However, during the crisis, she said, it became difficult to work. The bosses cut bonuses, frightened them with reductions, and added functionality.
As a result, Irina perceived the second unplanned decree as a temporary respite and an opportunity to avoid (or at least postpone) her own reduction. After giving birth, to distract herself, the young mother began to do manicure. At first she trained with her friends, but as the demand for her services grew and her skills were honed, she rented a place in a nearby salon and bought everything she needed.
Irina left the bank to work as a manicurist
“However, my husband was endlessly annoyed by my work! He didn’t want to hear about manicure, and he perceived any delay at work with a scandal. He said that the bank is serious and stable, and “nail polish” is self-indulgence and delirium. It was impossible to prove that I do not want to leave the maternity leave to the office, and that “nails and varnishes” bring me income comparable to my former salary. My husband began to literally drive me to work. Of course, I obeyed and went to the office, but soon I finally realized that I did not want to work there and, without waiting for the layoff, I wrote a letter of resignation. The husband did not understand this act. Unfortunately, our quarrels continue to this day. However, I do not regret my decision, ”wrote Irina.