When a woman takes the lead

To become an initiator, a woman first of all has to hear and accept her own desires. But not at all in order to measure strength with a man! The main thing is to awaken in yourself that sexual energy that will help her get more pleasure, and the partner – to gently overcome his inner clamps. “Female desire is all-encompassing, it is more sensual than just sexual,” says sexologist Irina Panyukova. “In a man, sexual arousal is concentrated around the penis, but in a woman, blood rushes not only to the genitals, but makes her whole body more sensitive to touch,” writes Taoist arts teacher Mantak Chia*. That is why during sex, a woman tends to feel all the sensations rather than just get an orgasm, rather wants to perceive and accept than act. Of course, a sensual upheaval is unlikely to happen with partners overnight … But if a couple opens up to true female sexuality, if a woman allows herself to show her masculine component, then a man, enjoying what he has received, will be able to perceive the feminine in himself. And their love will become like a game where female and male, sensuality and sexuality, relaxation and excitement alternate…

* M. Chia “Taoist secrets of love for women”, Sofia, 2011.

Follow desire, not impulse

But first, learn to separate one from the other. “For example, in the morning limit yourself to light touches, gentle strokes,” advises Irina Panyukova. – Promise that you will remember each other all day and “keep your desire” until the evening. At the end of the evening … try to wait a little more, take time to caress, tune in to each other. Don’t be afraid to talk about what you like, advises Mantak Chia: “It’s very important that your partner caresses you the way you want, and not the way he wants or is used to.” On another evening, try acting differently or suggest making love in an unfamiliar place.

Extend caresses

Well, if penetration ceases to be the main goal. “Flirt, massage each other, look for new erogenous zones, put a mirror in the bedroom or take a relaxing (or exciting) bath together, use a vibrator or play dice: on one write six body parts, and on the other six actions, for example “lick” “pinch”…” suggests Jenny Wood, author of Yes! Yes! Yes! Only for women” (Sofia, 2008). Do not let your partner follow the usual route in search of immediate pleasure. Caress his less sensitive areas – face, hair, neck … Offer him not to move: “And how long can you stand it? ..”

Restrain discharge

Often a woman needs more time to enjoy. That is why it is she who should take care of the pauses and rhythm of the partner, which, as a rule, accelerates when things move towards the denouement. “The Amazon pose, woman on top, is ideal for controlling rhythm and action,” says Mantak Chia. – You can also use a compression technique to help a man manage his arousal: when he is ready to ejaculate, quickly rise up, release the penis, wrap your hand around it like a bicycle handle, and pinch its end with your thumb for a few seconds. This will help relieve tension and you can continue.”

Try not to move

Try to completely take the reins of government into your own hands: after penetration, ask your partner not to move at all – at least for a couple of minutes … You will be pleased to feel that he is inside you, that you yourself can please him, making slow, gentle movements with your hips, pelvis, as if you are stroking his penis from all sides… Take your time: maybe the first time your partner will not feel something special, but if you continue, he will learn to be a “receiving party”.

Discover deep pleasure

Quick sex, orgasm as a quick release of tension and complete relaxation after … “Invite your partner to experience a more sensual orgasm,” advises Mantak Chia. “To do this, when the discharge approaches, he will need to breathe deeply – such breathing will help ease the tension in the genitals and spread the sexual energy throughout the body.” It may not work the first time, but with a little practice, your partner will learn to get completely different, deeper sensations. And having worked on special Taoist techniques, he will be able to become a multi-orgasmic man.