When children get tired, they start to cry. When children do not just cry, but yell like they are cut, and this happens in front of the people around them, this is already a test for parents. Moms are screaming, “Stop! Stop it! Do I need to spank you so you stop crying?” — and the truth is spanked with all their might, still sharply pulling the hand. Does it calm the child? No. After that, everyone falls into hysterics: both the child, and the parents, and those around them.
What should be done in such a situation? — First of all, it is worth remembering what we are reminded before the plane takes off: “In the event of an emergency, you need to put on the oxygen mask on yourself, then on the child.” In this case, this means: in a difficult situation, first try to calm yourself, after that you will have the strength to calm the child.
Eda LeChamp writes: I recently went to one of the giant supermarkets for a sale. A long line lined up at the checkout. Directly in front of me, loaded down with groceries, was a young woman. A little girl was clinging to her legs, crying as if the world was about to end. Her mother was embarrassed by her daughter’s behavior and therefore very annoyed. Dinner time was missed, shopping took longer than she expected, and she certainly understood that the child was tired and hungry. The child did not settle down, the mother began to scream not a girl, but the louder the mother screamed, the more unhappy and louder the daughter cried. It looked like the girl already wanted to stop her crying, but she couldn’t do it anymore.
It happens that a child really wants to stop crying, but he does not succeed. He feels like he is completely out of control, like a plane that has gone into a tailspin and is approaching a terrible impact with the ground.
So, what should parents do when they find themselves in a transport or in a long line with a sobbing child? If you yourself behave calmly, it will be easier for you to find a solution.
One afternoon, a man got on the bus, holding a girl in his arms, who was crying loudly. Since she was screaming at the top of her lungs, he could clearly see the annoyance on the faces of the other passengers. When the young father finally sat up, he gripped the screaming creature tightly in his arms and said to her softly but firmly, “Jenny dear, I know how bad you feel. You’re hungry and tired, it’s a terrible feeling. You can’t stop crying, you want to stop but you can’t. Let me rock you. Soon we will be at home, you will lie down in your bed, and I will sing to you before going to bed. After a few moments, as soon as the signal of understanding broke through the fatigue, Jenny calmed down, sucked her finger and fell asleep.
He was a tall, strong man, he could take the girl in his arms. But what can a petite mom do, loaded down with groceries, with three blocks to go and her baby crying because she wants to be picked up? The threats I heard varied with slaps, mother yelling, «If you don’t go right away, I’ll just leave you here!» But, probably, a lot could have changed if she sat on the sidewalk next to the child and rested for a few minutes. You could, for example, say, “Okay, dear. I know that you can’t go on and you can’t stop crying because you’re tired. But I still can’t take you in my arms, I just can’t. Let’s both of us just sit right on the sidewalk or try to walk to some bench where we can sit and rest. I’ll get something to eat out of my bag and you’ll feel better.»
I like to think that if I had been in the place of that young mother who was standing in line at the checkout, I would have asked to let me go ahead or just sat on the floor, took the child in her arms and calmed him down.