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Strive to prove to others that you are worthy of love, respect or promotion? Do you think happiness has to be earned? Maybe it’s because you don’t value yourself. And if you fix that, you will definitely stop worrying about some things. Let’s talk about which ones.
Each person is valuable in itself – alas, only as adults, many of us began to slowly think about it. We were raised differently: we often had to prove our worth. And for this it was necessary to tirelessly work on yourself, try to become faster, higher, stronger.
Maybe that’s why there are so many unhappy people among us? But what if we suddenly believe that we are already enough on our own? What are we already good at? That every person, whether it’s Elon Musk or the janitor who cleans our street in the morning, is equally important?
And this is what happens: life suddenly changes for the better. Yes, that’s it – no more and no less! Because we will suddenly realize that we have been participating in the race imposed on us all our lives, trying to get what we generally don’t need. What will we stop worrying about when we realize our worth?
1. About righteousness and justice
Do you still want to prove to your parents that they were unfair to you and raised you incorrectly, and to your ex-partner – how much did he really lose by leaving you? Still dreaming that those who bullied you at school would die of envy at the sight of who you have become and what you have achieved in life?
Underlying all these desires is the belief that you have something to prove to others. But as long as you focus on those around you and what they think of you, you are not living your life. And even if, having achieved what you want, you experience short-term bursts of joy, this hardly makes you happy.
2. On the pursuit of happiness
Many are used to believing that the key to happiness is having something new: an apartment, a car, a prestigious position, a new partner. The origins of this attitude should be sought in the idea that happiness must be “earned”, that it is a kind of “reward” for hard work and good decisions.
But, no matter how trite, happiness is not the final point, but the path. Happiness is everywhere, around, in our every day. Happiness is a choice, it is an attitude towards life. And we deprive ourselves of it.
3. About the future
We are all used to striving for something – a promotion or a move (to a bigger apartment or a better country), to marriage or having children; used to waiting for something – an annual bonus or, at worst, a vacation.
But even if “everyone around” wants it, is it really your dream? Are you really striving for something that will give you peace and inner peace? Is this picture of an “ideal future” yours?
People who realize their own value are usually not obsessed with the idea of the future – upcoming purchases, achievements, accomplishments, and all the good things that can happen to them. They are more interested in what is happening right now, as well as the pleasure of the moment.
4. About those who do not love you
People with low self-esteem do not believe that they deserve love and good, caring, respectful treatment. Because of this, they are more into chasing love than actually enjoying it when it does happen to them.
They are too fixated on winning the attention and sympathy of another, instead of thinking: do they even need this person? Such people are often unhappy in marriage or relationships, but are in no hurry to change anything – simply because they do not believe that they deserve more.
The one who has realized his own value does not waste his energy on those who are not interested in him. He does not “run” after others, does not “conquer” or “conquer” anyone – which means he avoids unnecessary pain and disappointment.
5. About the need to work hard
We repeat – we were taught that in life you need to “achieve” something, and for this you need to “plow”. Sitting at the piano for hours while others play football. Give up personal life in favor of a career. Work overtime and on weekends, stay up late. It seems that in this way we can prove that we are worthy …
However, stop! You are already valuable. And in this case, it’s worth “plowing” only at that job or for the sake of the thing that you really love, and not for the sake of money and vague “career prospects”. Otherwise, no material wealth will eventually bring happiness.
Realizing your value, you will begin to value your time. So, learn to understand what is really important (spoiler: healthy sleep, rest and communication with loved ones).
By this text, we do not want to devalue your achievements and aspirations. But perhaps this is still a good reason to think about whether the goals you are pursuing are really yours, and the work you do brings pleasure, and not just gives you the opportunity to prove something to someone.