What type of personality is schizoid?

There are few such people, 1-2% of the total mass. They do not like to be approached too closely and often scare people away with their peculiar behavior. Many consider them “not like that.” But they are used to it.

After my book is published, readers often come up to me to thank me for information that has helped them in their personal lives or in their work. But people with a schizoid personality type send me emails saying “thank you.” They thank me for the fact that in my description there is no hint of exaggerated oddities.

People with a schizoid personality type use withdrawal as a defense mechanism. They leave – from people, into loneliness, into the world of their own fantasies. They always choose a distance, and they do not need other distorting defenses: denial, dissociation (separation of themselves from their unpleasant experiences), repression. Perhaps that is why they are often aware of processes that for others proceed unconsciously.

Americans have a proverb: “An elephant is in the room, but no one notices it.” People of the schizoid personality type always see this elephant and are surprised that it is invisible to others. But when they try to talk about this elephant, they look like they are crazy.

To avoid difficulties in communication, they prefer activities that can be indulged in alone, so as not to be in a group, team. Many of them are busy with creativity, are interested in philosophy, spiritual practices, meditation…

However, we are unlikely to meet a person of a schizoid personality type who does not have at least some degree of desire for attachment.

But there is a problem: striving for intimacy, they experience overload from excessive intimacy, it suppresses and depresses them. As a rule, they feel better in the company of children and animals.

I was recently asked if people with a schizoid personality type and those with an autism spectrum disorder are similar to each other. I think they have something in common. For example, both of them do not like excessive attention. But there is one significant difference – autistic people do not understand the feelings of other people. They do not know that a child needs to be hugged … But they can be taught this. And a person with a schizoid personality type knows from the very beginning that the child must be picked up. But he cannot do this, he avoids contact in every possible way, because it is unbearable for him.

their childhood

The child grows extremely sensitive. He reacts to stimuli as if they hurt him. Moreover, on a variety of stimuli: sound, light, any changes, tactile sensations (like labels on clothes that scratch the skin). When we take such a child in our arms, he does not cuddle, but moves away, his body becomes rigid.

Children with a schizoid personality type often refuse to breastfeed. They feel completely unprotected, and any contact is perceived by them as an invasion, a violation of their integrity. Even if this invasion is a mother’s nipple in her mouth. It can be assumed that they have too thin skin.

One day I shared this observation with my patient: I said that it was as if I was sitting next to a person who had a burn. He needs help, he needs to be touched, but this cannot be done, because any touch is unbearable. This metaphor seemed to her true and appropriate.

I repeat: as a defense, a person with a schizoid personality type prefers withdrawal. But he also feels parting with someone very sharply. Why? The fact is that he is already ready to let a few people in, and the loss of one of these people will mean the disappearance of too much of the support system. Such people become attached to others, but it is difficult for those in their company not to feel lonely.

Schizoid and others

People with a schizoid personality type cannot stand superficial communication. My husband was one of them. On the rare occasions when I was able to persuade him to come visit with me, he immediately found a child or a dog and spent the whole evening with them. Talking about nothing was killing him. He needed sincerity and honesty. That is why, from the point of view of a person with a schizoid warehouse, a hysterical person is simply … a liar.

The fact is that for a hysteric, the main defense is exaggeration. Imagine with what intonation a woman can say the phrase: “I was so-a-a-ak angry at my moo-o-o-zh-a!” For her, this method of communication is protection, she wants what she says to be taken seriously, and it seems to her that if she says it more quietly, they will not believe her.

Communication with people of a hysterical personality type is difficult for those who have schizoid traits. At the same time, there is a long love story between them. Female tantrums find schizo males extremely attractive. They value honesty, adherence to principles, self-sufficiency in them … And male schizoids love hysterical women for their sensitivity, warmth, and emotionality.

But being partners, they can drive each other crazy. Because when she feels bad, she tries to move closer to him, and he moves away. When he sees that she is not well, he thinks that the best thing he can do for her is to leave her alone. And she feels abandoned.

Features of schizoids

There are many contradictions in people with a schizoid personality type. They seem aloof and uninterested, and live with a deep longing for intimacy. They are self-sufficient, but they need another person. Extremely distracted and extremely attentive.

They seem inactive and unemotional, but inside they are active, emotions are seething. They look asexual and ascetic, but they have enough impulsiveness and powerful sexual fantasies.

I once asked a psychoanalyst with a schizoid personality type why there is not much attention paid to schizoid dynamics in psychology. He replied: “Do you think WE can start some kind of social movement?” Sometimes I feel like I’m sort of an ambassador for a silent community of lonely people…who don’t do very well with PR! But I do it sincerely.

The inner life of a person with a schizoid personality type is very attractive. If he is sure that you do not consider him crazy, gradually, trusting you more and more, he will tell you a lot of interesting things about the world of his fantasies.

My schizoid friend once admitted that she doesn’t eat raisins. I assumed she didn’t like the taste.

“No,” she replied, “you don’t understand, he could be a fly!” I told this to another friend of mine, who has a schizoid husband.

She immediately said that her husband also did not eat raisins. True, he argues differently: he does not trust the raisins that are hidden in buns.

Charming! The whole world seems animated by them. In that sense, they are like children.