It was a long experiment and a relatively difficult one. In addition to the usual teenagers for my “research”, parents and sometimes even grandparents took part in it. It used technical means. And finally, we got some results and summed up some results. I do not need to repeat once again that all this has nothing to do with «real science»? I am no longer a scientist, all my “experiments” are just intellectual entertainment for all participants (including myself), an occasion to think, pay attention to something, maybe change something.
My next «research» consisted of two stages. The same families participated in both stages. A total of 57 families with teenagers (65 families were going to participate, but 8 for various reasons did not finish the job). The composition of the family was different: mother-father-son, mother-grandmother-granddaughter, extended families with grandparents and aunts and uncles; a teenager could be an only child or have siblings — no unification could be achieved here. By itself, another unification turned out: almost all parents, or at least one of them, have higher education (the importance of this circumstance will become clear when describing the second stage). Adolescents — from 11 to 17 years old, 31 girls and 26 boys.
Everyone was positively motivated, everyone wanted self-knowledge, change for the better, and maybe serve science.
The first part of the experiment was a mystery to the parents. The guys came to me (I contacted some of them by e-mail), I tested them, and by agreement they did not have to tell their parents either about the topic of testing or about their answers. I reasonably (some parents gave feedback) suspect that many, especially the younger ones — 11-13 years old, could not stand it and blurted out, at least about the topic. As for the answers — here, I think, on the contrary, the majority managed to keep the secret.
Testing (more precisely, it was a survey) was extremely primitive. The guys received a piece of paper with twenty items, a semantic differential opposite each of them, one question and a very brief instruction. The question was: “Which of the following topics would you like (would not want) to talk to your parent (pick any of them and answer about it)?” (I want to say right away that 49 teenagers chose their mother and only 8 chose their father). Further on the semantic differential (it stretched from “I really want” to “I really don’t want”, zero corresponded to “I don’t care”) it was necessary to note the degree of one’s wanting or not wanting. For each item, of course, separately. The 21st and 22nd points were empty, without a differential. It was possible to enter there what else this child really wants to talk about and, on the contrary, really doesn’t want to talk with his parents, but what was not on my list. It was not necessary to fill in the 21st and 22nd paragraphs, and 22 teenagers left both columns empty. Seven more filled out only “I don’t want” (paragraph 22) and 13 filled out only “I want” (paragraph 21). Only 15 people filled both «free» points.
The topics I suggested were:
- about music and / or pop music, singers, musicians, other pop artists
- about grades, lessons, school performance
- about relationships at school, about school teachers, conflicts, intrigues
- about books, literature in the broadest sense
- about the meaning of life
- about animals, nature in general
- about the rights and obligations of a teenager living in a family
- about computers and computer games (in terms of their structure, variety and content)
- about computers and computer games (in terms of their impact on health, intellectual development and school performance)
- about friendship
- about love
- about sex
- about family and/or social history
- about the successes of science and scientific problems
- about the Internet and social networks, the principles of their functioning, their opportunities and dangers
- about the future (personal and public)
- about human feelings (their own, others, in general)
- about movies and TV series
- about what is happening in our country
- about what is happening in the world
I think it will not surprise anyone that none of the teenagers wanted to talk with their parents about their responsibilities, about academic performance, preparing lessons and the dangers of computer games. But what is surprising is that only two of all (adult boys and girls) would like to talk about human feelings in the family. And the rest? Don’t trust? Don’t expect to hear something worthwhile? Are you not interested in this topic at all? (Even before the start of testing, five of them, having looked at the form, asked me directly: what about human feelings?) doesn’t matter»).
49 people would like to talk with their parents about computer games and what is happening on social networks (the points are absolute favorites, apparently, this is really important).
On the other side of the segment, slightly exceeding the «feelings», oddly enough, sex. Only four would like to discuss something about this with their parents. The rest, apparently, are successfully enlightened somewhere else.
They want to talk about love with their parents all girls and five boys. About friendship — 15 boys and 14 girls (the importance of friendship, as we can see, has no gender differences).
15 boys, gladdening my heart, would very much like to discuss the successes of science in the family. And only seven girls, that is, two times less.
We would like to discuss what is happening in our country with the relatives of 27 teenagers. A few more (that’s strange, right?) — 35 people — are not averse to discussing what is happening in the rest of the world.
There was one terrible questionnaire: on all counts (except for generally negative didactic ones), a 15-year-old boy put zeros — «I don’t care.» There were two puppy-like joyful ones — they really want to talk with their parents about everything (let’s wait — next Monday — for the results of the second part of the experiment and cry about them!)
Almost two-thirds want to talk about cinema, music, stage, one or all of them. Literature is somewhat less — 16 adolescents of both sexes, mostly, oddly enough, younger.
Nature and animals are the girls’ favorite: 32 people want to talk about it, of which only five are boys (11-14 years old).
Now let’s be surprised again: teenagers do not want discuss the future with parents. Neither his own, nor the universal. Only six people noted the positive part of the spectrum. But it seems that they should want to, many of them are already choosing or have chosen their future path.
History also seems to be not in the favorites of family topics (only 11 people want it). But! Eight people (seven boys and one girl) in the additional paragraph «I want to talk» wrote: war. And they deciphered it verbally: I love books about the war, I am fond of weapons, I love movies about knights and so on. But at the same time — an additional point. That is, war for them — not history, as it was, for example, for my generation and the generation of my children. Did everyone understand?
In additional paragraphs (I want):
- fashion and show business (far from me, I forgot about them)
- talk show on TV (similar)
- about my hobby, hobby (there are several of them)
No one does not want to talk about the hobbies of parents. Do your parents have hobbies? Are they (both hobbies and parents themselves) uninteresting to children? Children are not taught at all to be interested in others, even in the closest people?
More additional items:
- gossip (girls)
- technology, novelties in the world of gadgets (boys and girls)
- cooking, household (are you touched? Me — yes!)
- raising siblings (girls)
The most wonderful thing, my pet (12 years old) — wants to talk about «how to make all people friendly and happy.»
The strangest thing: “about God or about the gods” (that’s right, the family is atheistic).
Creepy: “about death” (but there are circumstances).
Additional «don’t want»:
- cleaning of the apartment
- maniacs and pedophilia, other dangers of the world
- what will you become if you learn like this?
- you won’t achieve anything if you don’t try now
- about money
- about health