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Breaking the ice of the first minutes and creating a relaxed atmosphere on a romantic date can be difficult. What to say and how to behave? A few recommendations.
Find common ground
If you have mutual friends, you can start by talking about them. If not, start filling in the gaps: ask and tell yourself about brothers and sisters, hobbies, pets, favorite travel routes.
Go through the topics until you find something in common with your interlocutor. Discussing your mutual love for surfing or Chuck Palahniuk’s novels is one of the easiest ways to find common ground.
Worst or weirdest date ever
Talking about “ex” with a potential ex is not the best choice, but when asked about the worst or weirdest date, you can often get surprising answers. For example, your companion or companion may remember a funny story, how he or she made a date with one person, but a completely different one came, due to confusion with the same name. I had to sit out the ill-fated hour to the end, cursing my own absent-mindedness.
Childhood fears
Were you afraid of anything as a child to the point of horror? Someone was afraid of mosquitoes and could not fall asleep, imagining their ominous “zzzz” above their ears. Someone in the closet seemed to have wolves with scary eyes – they were about to jump out and pounce to eat. And someone was horrified by pushpins (yes, buttons!).
A topic like this will help start a fun conversation. In general, it is pleasant to remember childhood and youth. Favorite toys, series, collections and so on.
Secret Talent
Maybe you can sing wonderfully in the Tyrolean yodel style, and your interlocutor is a pro at deep diving. We all like to talk about situations in which we were at our best. Maybe you know how to juggle? Or twist the hula-hoop for hours?
We usually don’t have a reason to talk about such things, but on a date, this topic will bring pleasure to both of us and help us get closer.
giant food
If you had to be trapped inside a giant meal and the only way to get out was to eat your way to freedom, what food or meal would you choose? Yes, in essence, this is the same as asking: “What do you like to eat the most?”, But it sounds much more interesting and funnier. Cheddar cheese? Peaches? Chocolate mousse?
Interesting reading
“Have you/have you read anything good lately?” Whether it’s a comic book romance, a magazine article, or an interview with your favorite actor, our reading choices say a lot about us, and it’s a great way to learn more about the other person, their tastes, preferences, and beliefs.
Finally, if in the midst of a conversation you find yourself in a “pause of silence”, take it calmly, because silence should also have a place in the conversation.
“It’s so nice when you can just sit next to someone and not have to talk” – this phrase from the Nora Ephron romantic comedy “When Harry Met Sally” fits perfectly. Remember, the more at ease you feel, the more pleasant it is for others to be in your company.
And a simple reminder to yourself helps to achieve ease: either a person likes us or not. That is, the little things that we usually spend a huge amount of nervous energy on – “Does my hair look beautiful?”, “Will the movie I bought tickets for turn out to be boring?”, “Why is my voice trembling so disgustingly?” – don’t really matter.
If we like it, then we are what we are. If not, nothing will help.