Contents
We all want our children to be happy. But, you see, it is simply impossible to be happy and joyful 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Here are some tips to help ease your parental anxiety.
Answer the question: are you always in a great mood? Most probably not. During the day, most people experience a variety of emotions: joy and anger, sadness and resentment, loneliness and inspiration.
So is it worth demanding from a child that a smile never leave his face? Remember your own childhood: did you always get everything you wanted? Did you always feel happy? The answer is most likely «no» again. Still, if you’re worried about your child looking unhappy all too often, here are a few tips that can help both.
1. Remember that you can’t buy a child’s happiness.
Just like you can’t buy his love. More than anything in the world, he needs you, and not gifts and entertainment, even the most expensive and varied. Play with your child, listen to him, try to spend as much time together as possible. This will help him learn how important relationships are.
2. Help him find permanent friends
Some kids make friends easily, others have difficulty. There are many unwritten rules in friendships, which means that the child may need the help of adults.
Explain that some little things are important. If it’s big enough, explain how important tone of voice and body language are, and explain that friendships can have different phases. Try not to transfer children to another school and to other groups for extracurricular activities unnecessarily: staying in the same team will make it easier for them to make friends.
3. Show love
Being a parent is not easy work, and often we do not think about how our children see us. Are you too often tired, irritable? Do your kids understand that you love them no matter what? The most important thing is that the child knows that he is the best thing that happened to you in life.
4. Learn from your child
Children are great teachers. I have three nephews and I have learned a lot from them. For the youngest, it’s as if the concept of “stranger” does not exist. I confess that I am not one of those who are inclined to talk with others in a store or at a bus stop, but since he was born, everything has changed. My nephew taught me to enjoy communicating with strangers, and I am grateful to him for that.
Listening carefully and looking at your children can help you learn valuable lessons from communication.
5. Explain to your child that being happy is a conscious choice.
When we wake up, we consciously or unconsciously decide how to spend the day. You can grieve and mope, but you can have fun. In order for children to learn this lesson, it is important to regularly set a good example for them.
How do you feel in the morning? Are you looking forward to a new day with joyful anticipation or with horror? If you don’t like your job, why don’t you quit? It’s time to make a decision to change jobs or take a fresh look at it.
And the last. Popular culture tends to associate happiness with wealth and material possessions, but over the years I have learned that the happiest usually have rather modest needs. Keep this in mind when raising a child.
About the author: Leanne Evila is a family therapist.