What to do if you lose your job due to the crisis

“I built my career in our network company, reached the sales director. Now our products are banned. We were sent to remote work, but there is no work. And after quarantine, there are practically no chances to raise the company to its previous level. My whole strategy collapsed in a few days, and now it’s not known how to support my family and pay for a rented apartment,” 37-year-old Ivan admits bitterly.

There are a lot of stories like Ivan’s now, and there are more every day. Employees are losing jobs and earnings, and small business owners are losing their projects, their life’s work, and entire companies are in crisis.

For those who care about real clients (for example, hairdressers), remote work is not possible. What to do? Surely there are options, but we do not see them at first. How to find the notorious new opportunities when “the train goes downhill”?

Children’s fears come alive

“In the conditions of modern realities, a very large number of people really experience strong fear and anxiety about work,” says psychologist, psychoanalytically oriented executive coach Yulia Lyanguzova.

People are afraid of being fired and are forced to “step on their throats” in order to keep the job that they have, or to stay afloat, although they have long understood that work is “a swamp that sucks deeper and deeper.” But why do so many of us treat change as a catastrophe and a fatal end, even if the facts are not so terrible? The reaction to the same event is different for different people who find themselves in a similar situation.

“My colleague and I are both tour guides. They were engaged in the fact that they drove groups around the cities of Russia on buses, 49-year-old Alla shares. – Each had its own IP, I invested in the site, got into a small loan, but now there are no new incomes, I’m eating up the “airbag”. And I think what to do, because quarantine can be delayed. But I understand that sooner or later it will end. And my excursions will continue – not with the same clients, so there will be others. A friend draws apocalyptic pictures that the world has collapsed. Although we are in roughly the same situation, she doesn’t even have a loan.”

Why is this happening?

“During a crisis, all deep-seated fears are exacerbated. For example, “I’m not good enough”, “they will leave me, they will leave me, no one will need me.” And if in childhood, mom, dad, grandmother or any significant adult was once left, forgotten in the kindergarten, picked up later than others, sent to live with grandmothers, scolded for bad grades, then at a more mature age, every time a person is refused, fired, they say “no” (at work or at home), fear is automatically, unconsciously activated, and even, perhaps, anxiety of annihilation (destruction), rejection, absorption by someone stronger, more successful and “adult,” explains Yulia Lyanguzova.

Fears are also intensified due to a decrease in social activity and communications: that is, in reality, there are fewer face-to-face contacts, which for the “wounded soul” is an additional signal of rejection.

From here, catastrophic scenarios arise of being fired, left to the mercy of fate by the state, “eaten up” by a competitor in the market or within the company. In times of crisis, the so-called impostor complex appears – that finally everyone will see what an unprofessional, not good enough employee or business partner I am.

The most “terrible horror” is that we will be exposed and we will be left with nothing.

“This is narcissistic anxiety and frustration,” comments Yulia Lyanguzova. “And right now, in conditions of uncertainty, blurred boundaries, limited freedom, people with an insufficiently mature psyche can experience retraumatization every day, they “fall” into their childhood fears and experiences. And they continue to “pull the strap”, just so as not to lose that favorite or not very favorite job, which gave at least some sense of stability, security, clarity, boundaries and meanings.

In my opinion, one of the most acutely lived conditions in the event of a possible loss of a job or its threat is the loss of meaning and the collapse of the illusion of security, stability, and boundaries.

What to do if the job is really lost?

The loss of a job, a former way of life is a loss that needs to be experienced, to grieve. If this is not done, then the body will be connected to getting rid of grief, and psychosomatic diseases may appear. The psyche is important and needs to be lived.

It is necessary to go through the stages of “work of grief” (you can do it yourself, but it is better accompanied by a psychologist), Yulia Lyanguzova is convinced. Here are her recommendations.

1. Shock and denial. During this period, you should not pretend that everything is fine when inside is not at all good. You need to allow yourself to live this shock, to cry, sob, laugh hysterically, ironically, tease, allow yourself not to believe that this happened.

2. Anger and aggression. Do not hide these emotions inside, but get angry, swear, tear papers, beat pillows, engage in power sports, cardio, sex – all that through which the body will help to pull out anger and anger at the employer, situation, crisis.

Perhaps this will lead to anger and anger at the partner, household members that did not support, did not help. To direct energy in a peaceful direction, you can write a list: “I am angry at the employer / at the crisis because …”, “I am infuriated / angry / annoyed by such and such”.

3. Bargaining with fate or with God. Write or at least tell yourself in words, “what would happen if I had this job left” (all the pros and cons). And make another list: “what would happen if there was no such crisis situation in the country and I would voluntarily, of my own free will, change this job for something else” (also all the pros and cons of such a situation).

4. Sadness – let yourself live it. This means not running like crazy, looking for a new job or not sleeping at night, but giving yourself time to rest, for some kind of reboot. If there are some savings, it will definitely be easier to experience sadness, if not, then consciously give yourself at least a few days to rest.

Without rest, you will definitely not be able to operate at full strength. Both the psyche and the body, on the contrary, will be even more depleted from the endless scrolling of the options “what if it hadn’t happened.” If there are debt obligations, mortgages, loans, alimony and a lot of everyday expenses, then nothing productive will come up without rest.

You need to give yourself a few days of resource filling (at least just get enough sleep and do something that brings joy – you can write a “list of joys”). And after these days of rest, look for people who will help (someone may give a loan to close loans, someone will help with food), and at the same time look for a new job.

5. Acceptance of the situation. If the previous stages are passed, after some time, acceptance occurs. You can speed up its onset through a list of joys and resources that give energy and strength.

You can surround yourself (even online) with nice people who invigorate and inspire, not reproach. You can watch YouTube videos about those who motivate. Here you can also write a list of achievements – “What I have already done in my life as a professional”, at the same time this will help in the process of writing a resume.

“If, nevertheless, you are forced to do an unloved job, then every day it is important to wake up and ask yourself before starting work: is there anything that I can learn from this job, from these people? the coach suggests. “Most likely, you will find a lot of interesting things. And this is a great opportunity to expand your horizons, take responsibility for your development and happiness and … grow up. To see other possibilities even in the most unloved.

You can take the opportunity to try something new. To do this, ask yourself questions: “What else do I like? What did I dream about as a child? If I didn’t have to make money, what would I really be doing?”

Think in this direction, look for implementation options. Do not cut off even the most fantastic ideas: who knows, maybe in a situation that reminds us all of the plot of a science fiction movie, just the most unrealistic ideas will work?