Although this is a natural process, show us at least one expectant mother who is not afraid of him. Our regular author Lyubov Vysotskaya tried everything in an attempt to stop panicking and start living. And now he shares ways that really work.
As a life-threatening man, I can describe my pregnancy with only one word: fear. During the first trimester, I was afraid of losing the baby, then I panicked that he might be born with abnormalities, and closer to the third, I hoped that everything would somehow work out and I would not need to go to the hospital and there in a very definite way to bring the child into the world. At some point, my pregnant brain even seriously considered the option of caesarean without indications.
Was she a fool? I won’t even deny it. However, I give myself a discount, firstly, on hormones, and secondly, on the fact that this was my first child. And I was more afraid of the unknown and uncertainty. I think, like most women in my place.
Prenatal psychologists say: in order to overcome fear, you need to understand what happens at one time or another of childbirth, what doctors do and how long everything can last. In addition, a woman needs to learn how to manage the process: breathe correctly and relax in time. Well, it would be nice to be able to relieve contractions a little – massage, special poses and breathing techniques.
But where to learn all this? Cheap and cheerful – to turn to experienced friends. A little more expensive – to buy all the literature on a given topic. In the spirit of the times – to get on the Internet and “settle” in one of the many thematic forums.
But! Let’s go point by point.
Girlfriends? Wonderful. They will not hide even the harshest details from you. Only now each woman has her own memories and feelings from the process. As well as your pain threshold. What was “terribly painful” for someone else may just not be very comfortable for you, but you are already afraid of this very moment in advance, having lost sight of more important details.
Books? Ideally. Neutral, calm language. True, reading them, you run the risk of wandering into such a jungle that you do not need to know. Especially if you decide to read medical literature. Yes, everything is described there in detail, but these details are intended for those who take your birth, and they are unlikely to add positive to you. Here it is better to be guided by the proverb “the less you know, the harder you sleep.” You can, of course, study books written in accessible language especially for future parents. But, before buying everything, ask if the author really understands what he is talking about.
Internet? The first thing that expectant mothers are now told in the antenatal clinic is to close it and not even open it for the next nine months. After all, there are so many horror stories that it is not far from nightmares. On the other hand, there are many useful services on the network, for example, online counting of contractions, calculation of PDR, encyclopedia of fetal development by week. And on the forum you can get moral support.
The schools of future parents will really help in preparing for childbirth. Here you will be loaded with both theory and practice. Free or cheap, such courses can work at antenatal clinics or maternity hospitals. Somewhere else – more expensive, but maybe the amount of knowledge is given more. The amount depends on how long you are going to do and what exactly. On average, get ready to pay at least 6-8 thousand rubles.
As a rule, the course programs are divided into several parts. In the theoretical one, mothers-to-be are discussed on various topics: from the course of pregnancy to the intricacies of caring for a newborn. The practical part involves physical activity: fitness, water aerobics, breathing training.
Few? You may be offered art therapy, courses for future grandparents and, of course, for a young father. He will also be told how to satisfy the whims of a pregnant wife and at the same time not reach the brink of divorce, what he will see in the delivery room if he agrees to a partner birth, and how he can help his wife in the process of childbirth.
It would seem that here it is – the ideal option: here you can talk, and experts will answer your questions. But it’s one thing when in the classroom they prepare for traditional childbirth in a maternity hospital. Another, when they advocate solely for alternative options, for example, childbirth in the water or home birth. If the “experts” all the time incite listeners against childbirth in the maternity hospital, form a negative attitude towards medicine, you should be wary and avoid such activities.
When choosing courses, follow these rules.
– We are looking for information: how long have they existed, by what method they are preparing for childbirth, is there a license to conduct classes. We read the reviews.
– We find out who is teaching the classes. We prefer practitioners: pediatrician, obstetrician, psychologist. Ideally, trainers should already be parents themselves to have a “live” view of childbirth.
– We study the programs: the number of classes, their component.
– We attend an introductory lesson (usually free).