What to do if the child is not eating well
Refusal of food can be a real problem in a family with children. How to understand why the baby does not want to eat, and is it possible to force a teenager to have dinner? The reasons in each case may be different – we will talk about them and about the methods of dealing with the “babies” with an expert

You can always watch how the fire burns, the water flows and how the parents try to feed their child. Because such battles between adults and children occur from generation to generation and last indefinitely. However, take a closer look: even in ideal “advertising” families, children express their “phi” regarding the dishes presented by their parents. And what can we say about ordinary us!

You can understand how important good nutrition for children is by looking at pediatric recommendations. Doctors have even developed a special concept of programming nutrition in the first 1000 days (1), according to which, in the period from conception to 2 years of age, against the background of the maximum growth rate and the greatest plasticity of metabolic processes, human health is formed. Of course, in the future, rational nutrition is also necessary. Alas, this cannot be explained to children – other approaches are needed.

Why does the child eat poorly – and in general, how much is needed “according to the norm”? What are the consequences of poor appetite and how to increase it? And the classic question: do you need to eat up? In these and other important points, Healthy Food Near Me will help you figure it out with our expert.

How much should a child eat at different ages

With food, a person receives the necessary “building” substances for the growth, development and proper functioning of all organs and systems of the body. So how much should a child eat to be smart, strong and beautiful?

According to the recommendations of the Union of Pediatricians of Our Country, babies 1-1,5 years old should eat 1000-1200 g per day. Children under 3 years old – 1200-1500 g, while at one meal the child should eat no more than 300-350 ml. Further, of course, these norms are adjusted.

But in the matter of nutrition, it is not the quantity that matters, but the quality. In other words, caloric content, the ratio of macronutrients, the saturation of food with vitamins, minerals, amino acids.

How much should a child eat (BJU) (2)

0-12 months110-115 kcal 
1-2 years1200 kcal
2-3 years1400 kcal
3-7 years1800 kcal
7-11 years2100 kcal
11-14 years2500 boys, 2300 girls
14-18 years2900 – boys, 2500 – girls

Do not go to the pediatrician – any grandmother will tell you that you will not be full of sweets alone. That is, the daily norm consists of a competent ratio of proteins, fats and carbohydrates, the amount of which should increase evenly with age. The same goes for vitamins and minerals. The diet of the child should be saturated with calcium, magnesium, potassium, phosphorus, sodium, chlorine, zinc, chromium, iron, the presence of copper, manganese, fluorine is necessary.

Why is the child not eating well?

How often adults naively think: the child refuses to eat – he is just being naughty. But problems with eating can appear already in infancy, when the baby has not yet learned to “demonstrate character”.

In the first years of life, feeding problems occur in 80% of children with disabilities and 25% of children with normal development (3). Refusal to eat may be due to some kind of pathology (for example, a short frenulum of the tongue), a violation of the gastrointestinal tract, or in case of malfunctions of other body systems.

But even a perfectly healthy baby can refuse food. A common cause in infants is improper feeding. Also, children sometimes begin to eat less when switching from liquid foods to solid foods or when they consume excessive milk drinks. 

With age, psychological moments acquire greater significance: the child is overexcited, overworked – and already turns away from borscht, accompanying the refusal with various performances. And often parents, without knowing it, exacerbate the situation. For example, they force you to eat (“you won’t leave the table until the plate is shiny!”) or turn on cartoons during meals, just to push a couple of spoons of mashed potatoes into the child. 

Skeptics will consider some reasons for refusing to eat in a child as whims, but children’s experts are convinced that this is a serious problem. There is such a term – “selective appetite”, when a child can refuse food because of its consistency, temperature, shades of taste, smell. And they also distinguish food neophobia – when the baby does not eat unfamiliar food.

Why else do children have no appetite? If you don’t dig deep: when teeth erupt, your stomach hurts or your body catches a cold. Do not forget about the most banal factors: the child is tired or played too much, he is passionate about something, or it is very hot – interest in food may temporarily fade away.

Below we will analyze the reasons for refusing to eat, which every parent may encounter.

Improper feeding

Inexperienced mothers are not always able to correctly attach the baby to the breast the first time. Because of this, the child is uncomfortable eating, he begins to cry and may refuse milk. And the parent, in fright, grabs the bottle and the formula. But when the feeding process has improved, the young mother often, in joy, begins to feed her baby for the future: with every squeak and breath, she offers her breasts. And this again can affect the refusal of food.

What to do? Feed on demand, let the baby regulate the duration of feeding. And you do not need to solder the mixture, from the principle “to be sure.” And they can teach you how to properly apply the baby to the chest in the hospital. There are also now many breastfeeding specialists who provide help online and at home.  

Well, we will give a cheat sheet:

  • turn the child with his stomach towards you so that his head and torso are at the same level,
  • the nipple should be at the level of the baby’s nose,
  • no need to bend over, the child himself must take the breast,
  • the nipple and most of the areola are in the child’s mouth, the lips are turned outward – that means everything is correct.

Pathologies and diseases

There can be many reasons, ranging from a short hyoid frenulum to neurological and cardiovascular disorders.

Congenital cleft lip and palate can cause difficulty in sucking and swallowing, with dysphagia, chewed food does not pass normally through the esophagus, and with odynophagia, it is painful for the child to swallow. A number of gastrointestinal problems cause pain in the abdomen, and, accordingly, the refusal of food. With some diseases of the respiratory system, the baby may have difficulty eating. There are neurological, metabolic and other diseases that can cause a child to refuse food. 

All reasons of this kind are united by the fact that the child begins the meal with a desire, but in the process he shows discontent and he refuses food (3). What exactly is the problem, you need to look with your doctor. 

Selective appetite

In this case, we are talking about “whims”. Children with selective appetites do not like to try new foods, avoid foods that they do not like in terms of texture or method of preparation, and their diet is poor and monotonous.

Familiar story? There is evidence in the literature that this problem is quite common among children 3-10 years of age, and one European study showed that selective appetite can be observed in half of children aged 4-5 years (4). Over time, the problem may go away, but sometimes you have to wait quite a long time – even up to several years.

And in the meantime, it affects the health of the child. Therefore, it is better not to rely on “maybe”, but to contact a specialist.

Eating disorder

Bulimia and anorexia are considered to be “teenage” problems, certainly not children’s. But even at an early age it can happen – what is called childhood or infantile anorexia. This sometimes happens when switching from liquid to solid food: the new consistency confuses the child, and he stops eating.

At an older age, psychological moments are connected: teenagers begin to compare themselves with others, they can be offended by rude comments from peers or adults, and do not forget about stereotyped beauty standards. 

All this in combination can provoke a mental disorder, which is expressed in an inadequate perception of oneself, an obsessive desire to lose weight. As a result, the child turns away from food.

Consequences of poor nutrition in children

The child once refused dinner or eats poorly for almost the entire week, as abnormal heat has set in – it’s not scary. But if a child prefers to “bite”, constantly “pecks” crumbs at dinner, or manages with water alone, this is already fraught with consequences.

There are two main points to which a persistent rejection of good nutrition can lead:

  • weight loss,
  • micronutrient deficiency and macronutrient imbalance (BJU). 

Some studies show that schoolchildren are deficient in vitamins A, C, B1 and B2, calcium, and preschoolers also deficient in vitamin E, protein and total caloric intake (5). 

As a result: the child lags behind in physical development, there are problems with the development of new knowledge, the risk of obesity increases along with a lack of active cell mass, immunity weakens (6), and a chronic stressful situation develops in the family: dad is angry, mom is on her nerves, the child is in tears .

Of course, in order to avoid such unpleasant consequences, one must try to prevent violations of the child’s eating habits or take action in time if the problem has already emerged.

Nutritionist Olga Matveeva adds:

– First of all, the problem of poor nutrition is the shortage of substances critical for the development of the child. Often high-quality products are replaced by “junk” food with a lot of artificial additives, sugar, fast carbohydrates. A large amount of such products in the diet affects the hormonal system, there are constant jumps in blood glucose, which cause the release of insulin. This often leads to a disruption in the development of the entire hormonal system – in recent years, type XNUMX diabetes is often found in children. This is a lifetime diagnosis. The result of overeating is excess weight. This is the path to metabolic disorders in the future. The number of fat cells is laid in childhood, so an overweight child is an obese adult.

How to increase your child’s appetite

There are general rules that will come in handy at almost any age.

For a child, it is necessary to correctly determine the portion size. Baby food is a case where more is not better. As early as two years of age, according to some studies, children can control the amount of food they need (7).

The mode is also important: eat at certain hours, and not when you have to. Remember that this does not apply to babies: in their case, at first you need to feed on demand, later, as a rule, a certain schedule is developed.

It is desirable that the child does not eat alone – let the parents become a vivid example of how to gobble up the soup and the second. In addition, this way the child will be bolder in food experiments with new products. However, if the child categorically turns up his nose from some food, you need to choose an adequate replacement: he doesn’t want meat – you can make minced meat and stick cutlets, he doesn’t want milk – let him drink yogurt, he didn’t appreciate grandmother’s semolina – the same “wheat” will be even more useful . 

But it is important to understand that eating behavior is formed from birth, and each age has its own “chips”.

Up to 1 years

At about 5-7 months, the baby begins to show interest in the “adult” table. Mom’s breasts are not enough, you need to try new things. Therefore, complementary foods are introduced at this age. The main thing is to do it slowly and according to the rules (8).

  1. Put the child at a common table – so that he can see how the rest of the family eats.
  2. Introducing new products in accordance with age – we do not start with meat!
  3. Respect the appropriate degree of grinding: from homogenized, puréed foods to “chunky” foods.

And we do not rush things: if the child does not want to eat zucchini puree, then it is too early. In the first year of life, it may take 5-14 tries for a baby to appreciate a new food (9). At 8-12 months, the child can no longer only taste “adult” food, but also be saturated with it. 

1-2 years

From the moment when the child gets used to regular food, you need to enter the regimen. Doctors recommend establishing five meals: 3 main (breakfast, lunch, dinner) and 2 additional (second breakfast or afternoon tea and before bedtime) (7). But snacks – cookies and other snacks “in between times” – are recommended to be excluded altogether.

Remember that a small person is already a person. Let your child choose what to eat: offer different options that the baby can pick up and taste. It can be fruits and vegetables, bread, eggs and something else. For a child, such a meal is like a game, and the game is the best way to get interested in something. 

3-5 years

At this age, it is important to observe rituals – for example, set the table together, using beautiful dishes, napkins. An interesting design of dishes will come to the aid of the mother of the “little girl”. Cut a carrot or a cucumber in the form of a flower and give a canapé skewer instead of a fork – children love this. 

You can use different parenting tricks. For example, arrange a competition: who can guess how many spoons of soup are left in the bowl. Of course, in order to count, the baby will have to eat everything. 

Two rules (10): 

  1. tricks should be varied: one trick will not work a second time;
  2. such games should not distract the baby from food (fairy tales, cartoons, etc. are not suitable).

5-7 years

For appetite you need – what? That’s right – get hungry. And this requires sufficient exposure to fresh air, games and physical activity, intellectual pursuits, and, of course, the absence of snacks.

In this case, a child who is not worried about health problems will sweep everything off the table, returning from a walk or after school. 

Remember also that while eating, you should not be distracted by books, gadgets and TV. By the way, this applies not only to children, but also to adults.

Older than 7 years

At 6-8 years old, children go to school for the first time, and this, whatever one may say, is stressful for the body. Of course, new unfamiliar conditions, a large number of unfamiliar faces, fatigue and stress can affect your appetite. Therefore, the child must be treated with understanding. Children can easily survive this difficult period only with the support of adults.

It is also important to continue to adhere to the rules established earlier: diet, joint meals, physical activity, no snacking, varied, fresh and tasty food, no entertainment at the table.

And if a child drearily picks a fork in a plate? Only without threats and blackmail! You need to calmly ask why the child does not want to eat, and discuss it. Maybe this is the first triple in his life in a notebook? Or did you like a boy from a parallel class?

By the way, different experiences affect not only the appetite in adults, this also applies to children. 

Popular questions and answers

Answers frequently asked questions by parents about children’s nutrition trainer-nutritionist Elena Kostyuk.

What vitamins increase appetite?

First of all, these are vitamins involved in the process of assimilation of nutrients from food. These are vitamin A, B vitamins, vitamin C. Do not forget about minerals, which are no less important for the good absorption of nutrients. These are zinc and magnesium, as well as iron.

What tests to take if the child does not eat well?

If the child does not eat well, you can take tests that will show whether there is a sufficient amount of essential vitamins (A, B, C) and trace elements (zinc, iron, magnesium) in the child’s body.

How do you know if a child is eating enough?

Children should not be forced or encouraged to eat more than they want. This not only leads to overconsumption and can lead to weight gain later in life, but also disrupts self-regulation of eating behavior.

Healthy children can self-regulate the amount of food they eat, following their internal hunger and satiety cues. These complex feedback mechanisms include signaling molecules in the digestive system and adipose tissue, as well as neurotransmitters in the hypothalamus of the brain. Thus, we can say that a sufficient amount of food for each child will be individual.

Sources of

  1. The program for optimizing the feeding of children in the first year of life in the Federation. Guidelines. FGAU “NMIC of Children’s Health” of the Ministry of Health of Our Country. Moscow. 2019. 112 p. URL: https://nczd.ru/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Met_rekom_1_god_.pdf
  2. Norms of physiological needs for energy and nutrients for various groups of the population of the Federation. Guidelines. Moscow. Federal Center for Hygiene and Epidemiology of Rospotrebnadzor, 2009. 36 p. URL: https://www.rospotrebnadzor.ru/documents/details.php?ELEMENT_ID=4583
  3. HE. Komarova, A.I. Khavkin. Causes of food refusal in young children: differential diagnostic search and methods of correction // Questions of modern pediatrics. 2014. №3. pp. 69-72. URL: https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/prichiny-otkaza-ot-priema-pischi-u-detey-rannego-vozrasta-differentsialno-diagnosticheskiy-poisk-i-sposoby-korrektsii/viewer
  4. E.V. Pavlovskaya. Selective appetite in children // Questions of modern pediatrics. 2013. Volume 12. No. 6. pp. 10-18. URL: https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/izbiratelnyy-appetit-u-detey/viewer 
  5. D.N. Lear, A.Ya. Passes. Analysis of the actual home nutrition of children of preschool and school age living in the city // Problems of nutrition. 2019. Volume 88. No. 3. pp. 69-77. URL: https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/analiz-fakticheskogo-domashnego-pitaniya-prozhivayuschih-v-gorode-detey-doshkolnogo-i-shkolnogo-vozrasta/viewer
  6. O.V. Zaitseva, N.K. Shumeiko, M.V. Besedina. Nutrition and immunity: is there a connection? // Infectious diseases: news, opinions, training. 2021. Volume 10. No. 4. pp. 105-114. URL: https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/pitanie-i-immunitet-est-li-svyaz/viewer
  7. EAT. Bulatova, P.V. Butko, A.M. Shabalov. Eating disorders as a predictor of obesity and metabolic syndrome: is prevention possible? // Pediatrician. 2019. Volume 10. No. 3. pp. 57-61. URL: https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/narushenie-pischevogo-povedeniya-kak-prediktor-ozhireniya-i-metabolicheskogo-sindroma-vozmozhna-li-profilaktika/viewer
  8. HE. Komarova, A.I. Khavkin. Psychogenic eating disorders in young children and methods for their correction // Bulletin of Perinatology and Pediatrics. 2015. №2. pp. 108-113. URL: https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/psihogenno-obuslovlennye-rasstroystva-priema-pischi-u-detey-rannego-vozrasta-i-sposoby-ih-korrektsii/viewer
  9. E.A. Pyreva, M.V. Gmoshinskaya, N.M. Shilina, M.A. Gurchenkov. Early stages of the formation of eating behavior // Bulletin of Perinatology and Pediatrics. 2017. Volume 62. No. 3. pp. 125-129. URL: https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/rannie-etapy-formirovaniya-pischevogo-povedeniya/viewer
  10. J.M. Glozman. If the child does not want to eat // Modern preschool education. 2010. No. 5. pp. 64-65. URL: https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/esli-rebenok-ne-hochet-kushat/viewer

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