Contents
Good day to all, dear readers of my blog! Our actions, behavior, relationships with others, achievements and, in general, the quality of life depend on the feelings that we live and on how we manifest them. They happen to us all the time, and it is very important not to ignore them, but to be able to live. Therefore, in this article I want to talk with you about how to learn to deal with your emotions.
What are they for us?
There is such a thing as emotional intelligence. And in life it is much more important than IQ, because a high level of emotional culture contributes to the development and advancement of a person. And then, a person even with a low level of intelligence will be able to achieve incredible success in their activities and will be able to build close and healthy relationships with others.
A person’s life is varied, and during the day he lives a whole range of feelings. Unfortunately, not always realizing or tracking. Feelings are usually divided into positive and negative. But in fact, they are absolutely necessary and useful for us, even anger. The question is different, namely their saturation.
For example, let’s take joy, a seemingly pleasant feeling, but if it turns out to be excessive for our psyche, it will lead to the same consequences as with ordinary stress. Or a feeling of shame, which seems to be unpleasant and undesirable for living, but if we did not experience it, we would not control our behavior, and then we would walk naked down the street, allow obscenity and so on.
Table
Consequences of unawareness
1.Explosion
If a person does not know how to recognize his feelings and cope with them, this can provoke an emotional outburst. To begin with, I will give an example, imagine that borscht is being prepared on the stove, and the hostesses know that periodically it is necessary to slightly open the lid and release steam. And what happens if we cover the pan and do not give it the opportunity to boil away? That’s right, at one point the lid will fly up and an explosion will occur. All contents will pour out onto the stove, floor, and may well burn. It is the same with a person.
Some, due to various circumstances, hide and suppress feelings in themselves, not giving them an outlet. But at one moment, the slightest stress can provoke a huge wave, and then everything accumulated will break out. This is actually very destructive and dangerous, both for such a person and for those around him.
2. Psychosomatics
In the article “Does a person need to develop spiritually and how to do it”, I told you about psychosomatics, this is one of the areas in psychotherapy. Psychology has long been studying the connection between sensations and health, their influence on the human condition. The inability to manifest them has a very negative effect on the body. Although, it often happens when a person’s subconsciously takes care of him with the help of diseases. This can be found out in the process of researching your illness or pain, answering questions about how it is useful for you, why it arose and at what moments it manifests itself.
For example, there may be back or neck pain in a person who does not allow himself to relax, spending all his time at work. Then the body artificially arranges for him to rest with the help of an illness, so that he can rest at least a little. If you listen to your body, you will become a healthier person.
3. Burnout
There is such a thing as emotional burnout, this is when a person is mentally and physically exhausted, he has no strength for any activity, desires and energy in general. It occurs when a person’s resources were wasted in large volumes, not having time to be replenished. Like a match that burned brightly but ended quickly. It has many precursors before it starts, which is why it is important to be aware of yourself and your feelings, because if you listen to yourself, it is quite possible to avoid burnout and even depression.
4.Relationships
Relationships are destroyed, as a result of which satisfaction from life and, in the end, the meaning of existence disappears. We noticed ourselves when we were angry or offended somewhere, for some reason we did not answer, or answered, but not what we wanted. For example, due to the fact that it is unsafe when the boss swears, and if you do not restrain yourself, then it is quite possible to lose your job.
But the feeling of anger has arisen, no matter how hard we try to ignore it, it is there, and will manifest itself when you find yourself in a safer environment for you. And as often happens, there is a breakdown in loved ones. Which are actually completely irrelevant. And with whom relations will begin to crumble over time, if this continues.
What to do with emotions?
1.Let be
The most important thing you must do is to allow yourself to feel absolutely all emotions, to understand that this is you, real and alive. This is the whole paradox, in order to control them, you must first allow them to be.
2. Study your reactions to different situations and circumstances
For example, people react to aggression in their address in a completely different way, some swear in response, others may burst into tears, someone freezes and gets scared, someone runs away, and then someone will remember this situation for a very long time, destroying self-esteem and tranquility. Therefore, study yourself, and then, knowing your reactions, you will be able to model situations in order to avoid embarrassment. You will know and feel at what point you can lose control over yourself, and just take care in advance to prevent this from happening.
3. Control of the senses
Some believe that in order to control their emotions, you just need to stop feeling. And now let’s think about the fact that it is impossible to stop feeling only negative emotions, if a barrier arises, it does not let in absolutely none. Are you ready to stop rejoicing, experiencing happiness, tenderness, interest and love? When this happens, people around say that a person is like a wall or a robot. The only problem is that it seems to us that we do not feel anything, in fact, processes inside are taking place, which over time can lead to prolonged depression.
4. Recognize the usefulness of every emotion
Yes, yes, yes, even anger. Because it arises at the moment when your boundaries are violated, something happens that you don’t like or don’t want. Or disgust — if we had not experienced it, we could have poisoned ourselves a long time ago, and I’m not only talking about food, but even about information and events. Sadness — signals that something in your life was valuable to you, and you currently lack it.
And so it is with absolutely every emotion, they all carry value and perform certain functions. And if you allow them to be, live, even sadness, sadness and pain, without devaluing their role, then there will be free space for other feelings that will definitely arise in the future. And then you will develop, gaining experience and awareness. If you block, you will stop, thereby preventing yourself from moving forward.
Maybe you have heard that there is such a thing as lingering grief? This is when the process of recovery after an experienced trauma or loss is delayed, because a person does not allow himself to feel any unpleasant sensations due to different beliefs, or unwillingness to experience them. And then a person loses the desire to live, the ability to rejoice, and this can go on for many years, until death.
5. Management
Managing them is to find a form for expression. Feel irritable — beat the pillow, with strong anger, when you also want to scream — take a bath and pour it into the water, nothing will be heard, but there will be an output of energy. In order not to destroy yourself, try to free yourself safely. If you feel a lot of anxiety, take up physical exercises, so you can relieve excess tension, jogging or swimming is ideal.
6.Rest
Allow yourself to rest, because instability of behavior and loss of control over yourself occurs in moments of fatigue, when there are no resources at all and there is nothing to rely on. If you notice that your condition has been changing lately, change the situation, organize a vacation or a quality and pleasant vacation. Someone likes parties, someone enjoys being alone or spending time in nature. Just do what makes you feel relaxed, what brings you a sense of peace, calmness, joy and satiety. Then, having gained strength, you will not react so painfully to stress.
7. Meditation
Proper breathing techniques will help you control yourself in any situation, because the impact of external stimuli will not be perceived so closely. I recommend practicing meditation, because, in addition to health, you will become a balanced and happy person. You can read about the benefits in my article “What is meditation and what will it give to an ordinary person”, and also try to practice on your own using a technique that is quite accessible to everyone, also described on the blog: «The easiest to learn and most effective way to meditate».
8. Creativity
Be sure to give an outlet to any energy so that it does not turn out to be destructive and toxic. There is even a trend in psychotherapy called art therapy. It involves drawing, sculpting, carving and many other ways that help you become aware of yourself and free yourself from tension, fear, and so on. Because, for example, in the process of drawing, you give your subconscious the opportunity to reach out to you so that you hear and understand it.
Therefore, we can also receive some vital answers by allowing our hand to move with a brush or pencil on paper. It is easy to get rid of, for example, anger, fear, by giving them the opportunity to give them a shape, and then destroying the drawing, tearing it or throwing it away.
Awareness Technique
If you do not understand what is happening to you, or what exactly you are feeling, try doing an exercise called the Sedona method. To do this, you need to choose a time and space where and when you can not be distracted and disturbed. Collect your thoughts, realize that you need these answers, so you should be sincere to yourself. Take a piece of paper and a pen and write down the answers to the following questions that come to mind:
- What is happening to me now? What I feel? Use the table that I gave at the beginning of the article, because very often we make a mistake, calling emotions the desire for any action, for example: “I feel like I want to hit him” — then this is anger, aggression …
- Do I agree, am I ready to accept it?
- Can I let go?
- And the last question: «Do I want to let it go?»
Conclusion
Finally, I recommend that you check out the article on emotional intelligence.
That’s all, dear readers! I wish you to live the fullness of this interesting life, allowing yourself to be different and being able to get out of difficult situations with dignity and without harm to your health. Do not forget to subscribe to blog updates, so you will not miss the most interesting news in the world of self-development. Bye Bye.