Did the kid come back from the guests with someone else’s thing? Do not rush to punish him and brand him as a thief. Olga Makhovskaya, the author of the book Think Like a Child, Act Like an Adult, helped to understand the reasons for this behavior.
August 27 2016
Loneliness
Parents are at work, the child is left to himself or is under the supervision of a nanny, that is, a stranger. He lacks affection and attention. He stealthily takes mom’s or dad’s things and creates the illusion of the presence of the parents. In extreme cases, he steals money to console himself by buying himself the desired thing.
What to do: Spend more time with your child, hug him, take him for walks. Explain to your child: you love him, and you do not go to work from him, but because you have obligations. In no case do not buy yourself off, compensating for the lack of love with expensive gifts. This can lead to serious problems: psychological loneliness, closeness, the habit of getting what you want easily.
Imitation of adults
Children often “forget to return” an object from the life of adults that interests them – a detail from a mechanism, cosmetics. Everything is logical for the children: “Mom and her friends have a lot of jewelry. I’ll be just as beautiful if I take one ring. ” This is not a serious problem, it is just that the child seeks to become like those who have authority for him.
What to do: do not arrange a showdown in the heat of the moment. Harsh penalties will only hurt. Do not humiliate the child, refrain from public reprimands, do not lecture the whole family. Explain calmly that he is still too small for such a thing. But when he grows up, he will definitely buy the same. And formulate once and for all: it is not good to take other people’s things without asking.
Fulfillment of desire
Raising children in severity and trying to teach them to work, parents often forget about the encouragement. Children do something useful, fulfilling the will of adults – they wash the dishes, study excellently and get nothing in return. They have the idea that no matter how hard they work, mom will not praise, dad will not buy a toy. Out of despair, they go to extreme measures: “borrow” the desired thing from their peers (phones, tablets, etc.). But sometimes more terrible thoughts appear in their heads: why live like this at all.
What to do: Praise successes, celebrate accomplishments. It is important for a child to know: he does not work in vain, his parents are proud of him. If he fails, help to understand the situation. This will give the child strength and help to cope with the problem. After all, he will know that his parents are on his side.
Craving for everything
From the conversations of adults, children quickly learn: money is the most valuable thing in life. With them, you can buy everything and make others respect yourself. Sometimes the role of money is played by things that are taken out of the house and exchanged for homework and other services.
What to do: Find out why the child needed to secretly take money. If you get involved with a bad company, find out what role he plays in it (initiator or victim, who is being manipulated by stronger guys), and immediately take action.
Sometimes you need money to run away from home. This happens when the children feel superfluous: the mother has a new husband, the family is waiting for an addition, etc. From childhood, instill the correct attitude to money, teach how to earn, count and save. In no case, do not blame the child for wasting what he has acquired with back-breaking labor. The kid may conclude: making money is hard, so it is worth choosing a different way to get it. Or he will feel like a burden that he was born in vain.
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