After the departure of a loved one, we are tormented by heartache, we are lonely, we lack the former passion. But if you’re already making plans to get your ex back in your life, stop and ask yourself some crucial questions. And try to answer them honestly.
It’s about your mental attitude and approach to relationships. After parting with a loved one, some become depressed and refuse to get out of bed in the morning. Others spend the whole day on social networks, tracking and analyzing every little thing in the life of an ex-partner: “What was he doing in a wine bar? He always liked beer more! No matter how you experience a breakup, a completely natural human desire arises to return to past happy days.
They say we begin to appreciate something only when we lose it. Breakups are always painful, and it’s no surprise that we want to numb the pain by regaining our former passion and falling in love with our partner again, just like the first time. When we have a headache, we take an aspirin, and in the same way, it begins to seem to us that a heartache can be relieved if we improve relations with an ex / ex.
That is why on the Internet, literally everyone who is not lazy maintains a blog that promises to share secret techniques that supposedly make it easy to return love. You can watch videos one after another on how to make him/her jealous and how to make him/her want you again — and even more than before. You can read step-by-step guides on how to make him or her miss you and curse the day they said it was over.
Instead of asking, «How do I get my ex back?» ask yourself, «Why would I even want him/her back?»
But in fact, to give a relationship a second chance, no intrigues, games and tricks are needed. This will require rediscovering the love that once was. And for that you have to rediscover yourself. Yes, you heard right. It’s not about your ex, it’s about you.
Instead of asking, “How do I get my ex back?” ask yourself, “Why would I even want him/her back?” It is not so easy to answer this question.
Some want to get their ex back simply because it’s important to them to be with someone. Perhaps they no longer even want to be together with this particular person, but it’s still better than loneliness. Very often, we yearn to win back the ex for this very reason, but we should not fall into such a trap.
In order to make sure that you have a worthy reason for returning a lost relationship, it is important to be completely honest with yourself why you are trying to do this. Take your time and think about what drives you.
If your answer contains at least a little bit of fear — you are afraid of being alone, afraid that there will be no one to go to an upcoming concert with, afraid that you will have to hire an assistant to get home after dental anesthesia — it’s time to rethink your plans.
No one, including an ex-partner, likes to be used. When you remove the fear factor, the motivation becomes pure and clear. It is already possible to build something on this foundation.
It takes a lot of hard work to get a second chance. But when it comes to true love, it’s worth it
So that was the first step: to understand why you want to rekindle an extinguished fire. If fear lurks in the depths of your soul, you need to deal with it before moving on. If you want to return to an old relationship because you are afraid of being alone, this does not mean that you do not really love your partner.
But if you’re just afraid of being alone and your ex/ex seems like the easiest option for you, that’s a serious problem. Even if you get back together, the relationship will be very fragile. Any hint of conflict will threaten stability.
How to make sure that you are not really driven by fear? Before starting Operation Reunification, face your fear and learn how to be happy being alone. Deal with your fears, and then you can move on in a state of love.
This does not mean that there is a simple and quick solution. He is not. Attempts to return former love most often slide into the abyss of games, manipulations and other temporary and unreliable solutions. It takes a lot of hard work to get a second chance. But when it comes to true love, it’s worth it.