A small baby monkey, separated from its mother, huddled in a corner of the cage. He looks sadly at the zoo staff who are examining him …
Just like him, we are extremely sensitive to separation from those we love. Sometimes it can cause us much more suffering than physical pain. However, separations are inevitable, long or short. And sometimes forever…
Deaths, divorces, departures, parting with friends for the summer or with children for the holidays. Alas, we were hardly taught to say goodbye. Someone, wanting to hide the feeling of embarrassment, says: “I won’t come to the station – I can’t stand goodbyes!” Another deliberately cuts off the conversation: “Well, that’s it, bye! Let’s not get sentimental, okay?” And finally, there are those, in fact the most courageous of us, who cry, unable to control their tears.
In The Little Prince, the Fox begins to take a different look at the wheat field when he notices that the color of his ripe ears resembles the blond curls of a child who has become his friend. And then Saint-Exupery describes their parting: “So the Little Prince tamed the Fox. And now it’s time to say goodbye.
“I will cry for you,” the Fox sighed.
The saddest thing when parting with those who are dear to us would be just the absence of sadness!
“Your own fault,” said the little prince. “I didn’t want you to be hurt, you yourself wanted me to tame you …
“Yes, of course,” said the Fox. But you will cry!
– Oh sure.
“So you feel bad about it.
– No, – objected the Fox, – I’m fine. Remember what I said about the golden ears.
Indeed, the saddest thing when parting with those who are dear to us would be just the absence of sadness! After all, this would mean that together we did not experience anything important. So, as Fox showed, there is a wonderful way to say goodbye. It is enough to talk about your sadness and about what remains in us, we have from another person. A simple way to make sure that the connection between us is strong and able to overcome space and time. When Christina says goodbye to her little son, sending him to his father for a month, she reminds him that their love will still unite them: “Of course, we will be a little sad that we are not together.
But when you miss me, just remember what I tell you when I want to console you. “You say ‘I love you’.” – “Well, of course! You see, I will always be with you, in your thoughts, and you will be in mine. Christina intuitively came to the famous method proposed by the American psychotherapist Milton Erickson. Finishing the course of therapy, he said to the patient, who from now on would have to cope with life’s difficulties on his own: “Just remember that my voice will always be with you …” **
* A. de Saint-Exupery “The Little Prince”. Eksmo, 2007.
** M. Erickson “My voice will stay with you.” Institute for Humanitarian Studies, 2009.