“Worrying about the future of your child is natural, but our anxiety can be contagious,” warns psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya. “To make the right choice on the threshold of school, he needs the support and trust of his parents.”
In two months, your teenager will leave school and is still not sure where to go. He is afraid of making a mistake, being worse than others and disappointing his parents. And parents, in turn, are afraid of “losing”, because many of them perceive a child’s admission to a university as an exam, as a test of their parental solvency.
It is very important that adults now do not escalate the situation, making the exam “a matter of life and death”, but offer options, alternatives. They supported, showed that they would not stop loving him and would not be disappointed, even if he did not go anywhere or chose “the wrong one”. Severe stress reduces the ability to think, and when a major decision is made in a state of panic, this is usually not the best choice.
About it
“Secrets of choosing a profession, or a graduate’s guide”
Galina Rezapkina The book will help high school students plan their future education, understand where it is better for them to realize their interests and inclinations, how not to make a mistake with the choice of an educational institution (Genesis, 2007).
Help him realize what he wants. Not “where to go”, but “what to do”. Offer to meet with your friends who have different professions. Together collect reliable information about the future specialty. Tell me different ways to achieve the goal, outline possible routes (immediately university; college + institute, university + courses; maybe studying in another country …). Mark the boundaries of your participation: you are ready, for example, to pay for a tutor, but you should not count on the commercial department of an expensive university. Pay attention to the teenager that, choosing a university, he chooses his environment for the next five years. Who studies, who teaches in the institution of interest to him? It is during these years that the system of values, life guidelines, and the future social circle are determined. If a teenager decides not to go to university and take a year of self-determination, it is obvious that he should work. But you will have to help him find a safe job that leaves time for study. One way or another, the main thing is that the choice is his own. Parents remain the role of consultants.
Lyudmila Petranovskaya — author of the sensational book for younger students “What to do if…” (Avanta+, 2010)
Read also: “TEENS Territory: A guide for parents of teenagers.”