Have you ever wanted to change your life? Get rid of bad habits and become a new person? Remember: as soon as you go on a diet, you are immediately invited to a birthday party. As soon as you took up gymnastics, you were urgently called to work. Why do these obstacles arise and how can they be avoided?
“I decided to change my daily routine and go to bed at least an hour earlier, because I don’t get enough sleep all the time,” says 32-year-old Vera. “But something unimaginable began: first, the boss called with an urgent question at work, the next day – a friend from whom her husband left, and when I turned off the phone, a neighbor came who thought I was flooding her.”
Probably everyone who tried to change their habits faced something similar. Is there an explanation for this seemingly inexplicable phenomenon?
The natural tendency of life is to seek stability. In biology, we call this process homeostasis. Let’s take blood pressure as an example. If it gets too low, the heart beats faster to bring the pressure back to healthy levels.
If the pressure rises, the kidneys reduce the amount of fluid in the body, excreting it in the urine. And blood vessels constrict and expand as needed to help maintain balance.
Both in our body and in life, there are many forces at work that maintain the constancy of our habits.
The human body has hundreds of feedback systems that help keep blood pressure, temperature, glucose and calcium levels, and a host of other processes in a stable state of equilibrium.
Our daily life is also based on constancy. We have habits about how often we do gymnastics, wash dishes, or call our parents. Over time, each of us establishes our own homeostasis.
Both in our body and in life, there are many forces and feedback systems that keep our habits consistent. Daily life is governed by the complex relationship between our environment, genetic potential, how we measure our efforts, and a host of other forces.
And over time, this ratio becomes so familiar that we stop noticing it. All these forces act on us every day, but we rarely notice how they affect our behavior. At least until we try to change something.
The myth of radical change
The myth of radical change and instant success is pervasive in our culture. Experts say things like “most people’s biggest mistake is not setting the bar high enough” or “if you want big results, take big actions.”
At first glance, it sounds inspiring. But we lose sight of the fact that the desire for rapid change goes against all the forces of balance that operate in our lives. Remember, the natural tendency of life is to seek stability. Every time the balance is lost, the system seeks to restore it.
If we go too far beyond the usual, then almost all the forces of our life will try to bring us back to balance. If we take noticeable action, we quickly encounter a noticeable obstacle.
The sooner you want to change, the more likely you are to fail.
Probably everyone who has tried to seriously change their life has come across this phenomenon. As soon as you tell yourself that you will go jogging every evening, you are asked to work late for the next week. You start practicing meditation and your kids keep breaking into your room.
The balance forces of our lives will bring us back to it, whether for better or for worse the changes we try to bring into it. The faster you want to change, the more likely you are to fail.
The desire for a quick change in itself creates opposition forces to bring you back to your old way of life. You may be able to slightly upset the balance, but pretty soon your energy will fade and a rollback will begin.
Optimal growth rate
Of course, changes are possible, but not global and not sudden.
- If an athlete trains too hard, he will get injured or sick.
- If a company changes course too quickly, the corporate culture suffers and employees face burnout.
- If the leader cares too much about his own interests, popular unrest restores the balance of power.
Living systems do not like extreme conditions. Fortunately, there is a better way.
“Virtually all natural systems, from ecosystems to animals and organizations, have optimal growth rates. And this pace is much lower than the fastest possible. When growth becomes excessive – as in the case of cancer cells – the system looks for an opportunity to compensate for it by slowing down. Perhaps thereby jeopardizing the survival of the entire organization,” warns systems expert Peter Senge.
Conversely, if you accumulate small wins and aim for a one percent improvement, you tip the balance in the desired direction. It’s like building muscle. If you train with too little weight, they will atrophy. With too much – get hurt. But if the weight is slightly higher than usual, the muscles will adjust to the new stimulus, and the balance will shift a little.
The paradox of change
For change to continue, we must cooperate with the underlying forces in our lives, not fight them. Almost everything that makes up everyday life has a balance—a natural setpoint, a normal pace, a typical rhythm. If we step too far beyond this equilibrium, we will be thrown back to the baseline.
So the best way to achieve a new balance is not a radical change, but a little progress every day.
This is the great paradox of behavior change. If you try to drastically change your life, you will quickly find yourself reverting to old habits. But if you start changing your daily routine, changes in life will come naturally.
About the Author: James Clear is an entrepreneur, weightlifter, travel photographer, and blogger. Interested in behavioral psychology, studying the habits of successful people to understand what helps them become who they are.