What not to do if you want to make a good impression

Most of us want to please others, show ourselves in a favorable light, but sometimes something goes wrong. Why is this happening? Usually, the lack of resources is to blame for everything – in particular, psychic energy, which does not allow us to understand the social situation.

It is important to know that self-presentation involves two steps:

• select the image that we want to broadcast to others
• and present it correctly.

The second step requires mental resources. Making a positive impression requires self-regulation and self-control. For example, when a person is mentally overwhelmed or anxious, he may start boasting, and this will spoil the impression of him.

But there are people who, in principle, do not know how to make a good impression, and this is not due to their lack of mental resources. This is usually due to two factors:

• Inability to understand the point of view of another person and feel his mood.
• Narcissism. At first, narcissists seem energetic, interesting and charming, but after a while, arrogance and intolerance appear in all their glory, which scares others away. In addition, narcissists are confident in their own superiority, indulge in derogatory remarks about others, and demonstrate a lack of empathy.

Here’s what not to do if you want to make a positive impression.

1. Treat others with arrogance

Love to show that you are the best? So you make a negative impression and risk not finding a common language with people.

Studies have shown that if a person simply talks about their positive aspects (“I can be a good friend”), this does not cause rejection. Trying to compare yourself to others and present yourself in a more favorable light (“I’m a better friend than everyone else”) creates a negative impression. The interlocutor feels that “everyone else” is, including him. He turns on a defensive reaction, hostility and antagonism arise.

2. Show off the other way around

This strategy is to draw attention to yourself by showing off. You post a quite nice photo on social networks with the comment: “Here I am so disheveled. I woke up, but I didn’t wash my face and didn’t comb my hair. Terrible, right?

This tactic is indeed able to attract attention, but this behavior looks insincere and makes a negative impression. And falsehood harms interpersonal relationships. Even braggarts and complainers look more sincere than a person who comes down.

3. Be hypocritical

Hypocrites create a certain image, but do not know how to live in accordance with it. They say one thing and do another, especially in matters related to morality. The hypocrisy works as long as people don’t know about your behavior. But as soon as the secret becomes clear, the pleasant image fades in the light of how a person actually lives, and others begin to negatively relate to the hypocrite. Moreover, the hypocrite is more unpleasant for them than people who behave the same way as he does, but do not hide it under a false mask.

4. Give dubious compliments

This refers to insults in the form of a compliment. The flatterer behaves patronizingly towards the interlocutor. For example, he says: “Well, well done. I didn’t expect you to do so well in the exam.”

Most of us love compliments, but dubious compliments are repulsed.

Making a positive impression is not difficult – just be honest and sincere. But arrogance, attempts to show off, hypocrisy and dubious compliments cause only negative emotions.