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Millennials, or Generation Y, are people born in the late 70s and early 90s. Now they are 30-40 years old, they have long graduated from universities and are now working. What worries them?
Meet. This is Lucy, she lives in the USA. Lucy is a representative of generation Y (it includes those who were born between 1981 and 1996). If millennials work in a big city and are engaged in intellectual work, they are called “Yuppies” – young urban professionals, young employed citizens. Lucy is just like that.
In general, Lucy is doing well. Why is she so unhappy? Let’s first understand where happiness comes from. Surprisingly, the formula is simple. Nothing smart. If you get less than expected, you are unhappy. Otherwise, happy.
Interestingly, objective reality plays a secondary role. It does not in itself make a person happy or unhappy – but only in combination with expectations. If a child expected to receive a game console for his birthday, but he was given a bicycle, he is likely to be upset. If he was expecting at least some kind of bike, but got a fancy sports bike, he will jump to the ceiling.
We figured out happiness: to be happy, you need reality to exceed expectations. But why does Lucy have high expectations? To understand this better, let’s get to know her family.
Parents
Lucy’s grandparents are representatives of the “great generation”. They grew up during the “Great Depression” – the economic crisis in the United States in the 1930s. In their early youth they saw poverty and unemployment. During the Second World War, they either served or worked at the factory, where they met.
After the crisis of the thirties and the military forties, the prosperous fifties come in America: the economic sector is growing, everyone has a job, there is enough money. Subsidized mortgages are available to war veterans (then still in their twenties), American architects are beginning standard cottage development in the suburbs, and young families have affordable housing, cars, televisions, and other elements of the American dream.
Grandparents get married and have children. There is a population explosion – “baby boom”. America is filled with happy children of the fifties who will only see poverty in documentaries.
Grandparents teach their children that the most important thing in life is a stable job and a steady income. They want food to be delicious and grass to be green. Lucy’s parents know that they will definitely get to this green lawn. It just takes a lot of work.
They worked honestly and earned more than planned. By maturity, they had a general sense of satisfaction with life.
Lucy’s parents successfully recovered from the hippie culture in the 70s and gleefully took up their careers. And here in the 80s and 90s the American world is experiencing unprecedented economic growth. Everything is growing in all industries, money is flowing from all cracks, you only have time to earn.
Our heroes are brave and self-confident people. They worked honestly and earned more than planned. The house was bought better, life was arranged more conveniently. From this to maturity, they developed a general sense of satisfaction with life.
Lucy’s parents did not have before their eyes the war and the protracted economic crisis. They are sure that everything will always be fine – you just need to work. And they raised Lucy in the same tradition, but in an even more exaggerated manner: she was inspired that her possibilities were endless, and Lucy (like all her peers) could become whoever she wanted.
The nineties began. The TV showed young New Kids on the Block and live Kurt Cobain, and little boys and girls absorbed the idea that they are unique, their possibilities are limitless, and the green light is on for them everywhere in life.
Moreover, the sad fate of parents who simply achieved financial stability does not suit them. Stability is boring. Amazing things must happen in the life of Generation Y. Hence the first fact about millennials that is important to understand.
They are extremely ambitious.
Lucy and her peers want more than just a comfortable life and prosperity. It’s too small for them. If Lucy’s parents embodied the “American dream”, then she herself wants to realize her own, unique dream.
Author and researcher Cal Newport has traced the rise in popularity of the phrase “follow your dreams” over the past 20 years. For the analysis, the Google tool Ngram Viewer was used: it shows how often certain phrases are found in the English-language press. The popularity of “stable work” has fallen by half, and the popularity of “work for the soul” has grown.
Millennials want material wealth just as much as their parents. But at the same time, they want their work to be satisfying.
At the same time, Lucy and her peers want material prosperity no less than their parents. But at the same time, they want their work to be satisfying. This is what the Baby Boomers never dreamed of.
However, Lucy is not only prohibitively ambitious. From early childhood, another thought, learned from her parents, takes root in her. And then it’s time to talk about the second feature of Lucy and her friends.
They live in a fantasy world
“Well, yes, of course, we will all achieve happiness and success in life. And all of us will find a job we like and earn on it. But I’m special. This means that my life path will also be special, I will leave a mark on history and rise above the crowd, ”Lucy thought in her college classes.
And now we have a whole generation that is not only convinced that flowers will bloom on their lawn. Each individual representative believed that as soon as he graduated from high school, his lawn would become especially beautiful – a magical unicorn pony would soar above it.
This delusion will play a trick on Lucy when she graduates.
If Lucy’s parents were preparing for many years of hard work, then Lucy is confident that for her, so special and wonderful, the work will be easy. You just need to choose the direction you like and wait until her talent is discovered.
It takes many years of hard work to build a sustainable career
But, alas, the real work is blood, sweat and tears, even if you don’t aim for a colorful lawn with unicorns. It will take many years of outstanding work to build an unremarkable, but at least sustainable career.
Lucy wasn’t prepared for this. She expected that now a year or two, and she will become the new Jobs-Zuckerberg. But she won’t. And she’s not ready to accept it.
Professor Paul Harvey explored the worldview of Generation Y people. The psychologist notes that its representatives “have unrealistic expectations from life and an unreasonably high opinion of themselves,” and also “painfully resist criticism.”
“Without putting in enough effort, such people nevertheless continue to expect serious rewards from life,” writes Harvey, “and continue to be disappointed.”
Despite the fact that Lucy has the highest opinion of herself, reality has its own view. This is where our Lucy ended up after high school. Our heroine built unrealistic expectations from the work and, of course, was disappointed.
Due to the discrepancy between expectations and reality, she is unhappy. But that’s not all. There is another problem that aggravates the situation of people like her.
Everyone seems to be mocking them
It is clear that among the generation of Lucy’s parents, someone is richer and someone is happier. But since these people have lived most of their lives without Facebook, they do not really know how their peers’ careers developed. They lived for themselves and went about their business, looking back at best to the neighbor’s lawn.
But Lucy is haunted by a newfangled social phenomenon: lying on social networks. Lucy lives in a world where people post information about themselves all the time. But what they publish is often not true. Mostly others share their successes and keep quiet about failures.
And although she started her career very successfully, she is tormented by a sense of her own inadequacy.
If you look at a typical Lucy’s classmate’s social media page, it’s full of parties, dating famous people, overseas trips, gifts from fans, and expensive restaurants.
And nowhere will it be written that she actually moonlights as a waitress in a cafe, borrows money from her parents, and bought these roses herself. This is called “image building”.
Because of this, Lucy gets the feeling that everything around is fine, and she is the only such fool, she has not achieved anything in her life. That’s why Lucy feels out of place. And although she most likely began her career very successfully, she is tormented by a sense of her own inadequacy.
- Stay as ambitious as you are. There are enough opportunities in the world to be realized. It may not work out the way you planned, but something will definitely work out. The main thing is to do.
- Stop thinking you are special. The truth of life is that you have nothing to offer the world yet. For this to appear, you need to work, long and with all your might.
- Don’t look around. Now it costs nothing to create an image of a wealthy and successful person. If your friends and acquaintances seem to be successful, don’t jump to conclusions. They may just be holding the iPhone at the right angle. You need to do your job honestly and from the heart – then there will be no reason to envy others.
About the author: Tim Urban is the author of the popular blog Wait But Why.