What leads to high aspirations: feelings or reason?

The article “What Affirmations Can and Cannot Do” ended with the following paragraph:

The subconscious mind, of course, can always be put to its service, but becoming dependent on it is wrong. Develop the power of the mind, especially since, most likely, you have enough of it. Do you manage without it at work? Are the results worthy? So, you can. Your new main belief: “I can handle all my tasks on my own, I am responsible for my actions, not my subconscious.” If you don’t believe it yet, work with it like an affirmation; the main thing is your intention to live as the Author of your life.

Apparently, because of this, comments appeared on the article that caused an interesting discussion. Look at it: what do you think about this, colleagues?

Tatyana: The mind is naturally responsible for actions, but relying on the language of feelings. It is not for nothing that all meditative practices are focused on turning the mind to feelings, to one’s soul, and when harmony is restored in the soul, then the person will be free, and therefore happy. In my opinion, this article is confusing for practicing psychologists.

N.I. Kozlov: The mind is responsible for the actions of smart people, right. Reason relies on feelings … — and here confusion is possible. The mind can rely on external senses (sight, hearing, kinesthetics), but the mind will not rely on internal feelings (feelings of fear, rage or insecurity …). What feelings did you write about?

Tatyana: Yes, from this point of view, everything is so. I meant the impulses of the soul, for example, I want to work as a teacher in a rural school with children, the main message is to give warmth to children who especially need it, but the mind opposes this, warning that you won’t be fed with such a profession, what — some other plans, etc., which is why I meant that if in this case you follow the lead of the mind, then you won’t be particularly happy, you won’t deceive your soul with any money if you don’t rely on true feelings, i.e. e. to do not what is prestigious or what enriches, but what the soul asks for, i.e. feelings.

N.I. Kozlov: Thanks for the interesting topic, I was really puzzled. I’m thinking… Feelings in the soul are very different: both kind and quite the opposite. Why don’t people “from the heart” say to each other in the heat of the moment! There is an excess of energy in feelings, but intelligence and kindness are not always enough. Okay, this is understandable, but with the mind it is more interesting. Do I understand correctly that for you the mind is always selfish and never focuses on something good? That reasonable people always really care only about their own interests and will never (remaining reasonable) sacrifice something for the sake of others? Curious. In my environment, it’s somehow quite the opposite: the spiritual aspirations of these people (and this is not about feelings, but about reason) are high and addressed to people, but their feelings bring them down, inflamed feelings make them be selfish.

There is a hypothesis: perhaps our reader, when she wrote about the mind, actually had in mind either prudence or rationality? However, reason is not just rationality. Anti-human projects can also be rational; an evil person can be quite rational. A reasonable person cannot be malicious, and then reason in a more precise sense of the word is rationality, aimed at goodness and multiplied by morality.

Continuation of correspondence

Tatyana: While I am a psychologist «in the project», the last course, I am getting a second higher education just to realize the dream of the «soul» — to give warm feelings to needy children. At the expense of the mind, you and I absolutely agree, in my case it is not selfish at all. The fact of the matter is that he does not rely on true feelings, but lives exclusively for others, but not for himself. For example, in order to “save” and “pull” a person out of a difficult situation, I had to organize my own business, development and prospects, an animal grin (there is no other way in this business), hypocrisy, and other “necessary” qualities for this business. But this is not what the soul asks for, despite all the “charms”, hence, in my case, the dilemma. I believe that a person should follow his spiritual impulses, but, of course, passing through the boundaries of the mind. If he is happy that he works in a craft shop, then he has found himself.

N.I. Kozlov: Tatyana, help me, I’m confused. The dream of the soul is to give warm feelings to needy children — I understood this. But as for the mind … The mind that warns you «Do not go to psychologists, you will not be full with such a profession» — is this your mind? If yours, then in this case he is selfish and short-sighted. And your business for saving a person from a difficult situation was opened by you based on the prompts of your feelings or deliberately, as a reasonable project? If it was a deliberate project, then you should have taken into account the costs of this project, so that you would not complain later — right? So today you think that the organization of this business was the right, reasonable choice — or not? And if reasonable, then the soul supports this choice? Or: what does your soul say about this? The soul says that it was not necessary to save this person like that? It seems to me that if your soul confidently says: “No need!”, then one of the two is definitely wrong. Or you need to talk with your soul, or correct your mind … What do you think, Tatyana?

Tatyana: Of course, this decision is justified and weighed. And naturally, the mind acted at the behest of the soul, primarily from the desire to help a person. There was never any intention of complaining. I’m just interested in understanding what comes first, mind or feelings, I agree that most likely women are a little more selfish than men, here nature takes its toll. Probably, here the question is different. It is difficult for a man, although a very experienced psychologist, to understand female impulses. It’s just that in addition to dreams, each person has his own life duties, and responsibility to other people, especially relatives. Of course, we choose what is more priority for us at the moment. For me, this situation is associated with an aphorism: «and the horses keep running, and the huts are all on fire.» Therefore, I also argue in such a way that yes, if you live according to the “template”, then internal saturation will not come. After all, you, like many other people, probably chose the profession of a psychologist because you like it for something, satisfy some internal messages, and not, for example, to be vigilant or because this profession has become fashionable. And there is a share of healthy egoism in every living being, is it bad, it’s natural.

N.I. Kozlov: Tatyana, I heard that when organizing a business, you acted at the behest of the soul. Did I hear you correctly? And the fact that as a result of this joy, happiness and satisfaction did not bring you. Did I understand you correctly? That is, it seems that what was launched by you with an impulse from the heart did not lead to happiness, but to a crooked result … This happens very often. And that is why I teach people to turn to the mind more often and act reasonably, so that later they do not suffer, do not regret and do not suffer. Another thing is that many people are really not very used to thinking, their minds are not very developed, and then I set the task: Develop the power of the mind! An intelligent person who cares only about himself is limited. A reasonable person who, in caring for others, does not take into account his own interests, is not far off. Our task is to develop our thinking, namely our positions of perception, and learn to live like the Creator, taking care not only of ourselves, but also of others. These are our values. And this is the way of life of an intelligent person.

However…

It is curious that in the Russian mentality, expediency is practically a synonym for selfish, selfish behavior and is not honored, as something “American”. It is difficult for the average Russian layman to imagine that it is possible to act reasonably and consciously not only for oneself, but also for someone else, therefore, selfless actions are identified with actions “from the heart”, based on feelings, without a head.

A typical example: in the article “A Son Is Twelve: Raising Responsibility,” a smart dad wrote how he cultivates in his son the habit of thinking “why” he does this or that. Commentary on this article: “I see an adult young man with a question, why should I take care of my parents, show respect for them, for what purpose? Now I’m independent and I don’t need my parents anymore.»

We responded to this comment with: “Hmm. Do you think that parents can be loved only if for nothing, “without a head”? If parents really brought up children, children have values, and not just needs, and children already know how to take care of worthy people. That is, about the parents — in the first place, and precisely because the parents themselves set an example for them in this.