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The soft toy from the start: a step towards autonomy
Around 8/9 months, the baby has developed a number of simple motor acquisitions, he is able to grab objects and manipulate them in a coordinated manner.
It is at this moment, that he chooses a soft toy in his bed or a fetish fabric even if some little ones stick to their thumb or pacifier, and do not choose an additional object.
Very often, the blanket is “offered” by the mother as a gift to her little one to teach him to separate from her. The mother invests herself in an object and the baby receives this object as the link that will allow him to keep a piece of his mother close to him.
This is why child psychologists speak of “transitional object”, in reference to Winnicott (famous pediatrician, who wrote in 1951, “transitional objects and transitional phenomena”).
In this blanket, there is a piece of mother and piece of self. Often present in the moments of transitions between separations with the mother such as bedtime or in the morning when mother goes to work, the chosen blanket comforts, cuddles and reassures the little child. In fact what is at stake at this moment is the progressive learning of the capacity to be separated and to be alone.
After 3 years, still here!
When it comes time to return to kindergarten, the little child will again need reassurance: learn the rules of group living, the rhythms imposed by kindergarten, separations in the morning with mom …
Companion for school! The nursery school teachers let the children bring their blanket and use it as comfort during the little moments of cockroach among the children at the beginning of the year. But the child grows up quickly in kindergarten. At the end of the course, the children prepare for the Preparatory Court and having a blanket can quickly become a way for others to make fun of the fans of the blanket.
Work is being done by the teaching teams to get older children in kindergarten used to no longer taking a blanket to school.
Adèle B., the mother of 6-year-old Alexis, confirms this first attempt to leave a blanket at home: “ … at his last return to school, in the large kindergarten section, we both agreed that no longer taking a nap at school, the rabbit would be better off resting on his bed at home while waiting for his return ».
Children are, on the other hand, very sensitive to moments of transition within school. “…My last son, who will be 4 in May, still has his blanket. Okay, he’s in the 1st year of kindergarten. But when he goes to bed and during a nap he still has it and during the day when he is tired he asks for it », Confides another mother.
And after 6 years, what becomes of a soft toy?
But entering primary school comes to revive the fears of separation already experienced and overcome in previous years. After a day spent at school, the grown-ups come home and meet up with their blanket for a moment of relaxation.
After 6 years, it is still there! This is what Adèle, mother of little Alexis 6 years old, reports to us, “… Alexis is also delighted to find Rabbit when he comes home from school for a quiet moment in front of the TV, for example when he is tired at the end of the day. ».
Children are very attached to their favorite object, even at an age when social life is rich in exchanges and cronyism.
Whether placed on the shelf or in the child’s bed, the blanket is still very present in the daily life of the older ones. He is taken to his friend’s for a one-night “sleeping” expedition. He is cuddling in the evening after days filled with school or extra-curricular activities. As a mother of a 7-year-old girl puts it so well, “ … she would not separate for the world from her “rabbit”! She leaves it at home of course but as soon as she comes home from school she goes to look for it and a little sniff with the ear of her blanket and it’s paradise! … »
So, don’t panic! If after 7 or 8 years, your child is still really addicted to his blanket, it is only to get some well-deserved comfort! Doudou no longer has the same meaning: it is no longer a piece of mom that is wanted… whatever ?! It is all the same the memories of a past linked to the first separations from the mother that are associated with this blanket …
In the end, all the testimonies collected tell the same experience: the mothers of children over 6 years old told us that the blanket is always there, somewhere in the child’s room. They also leave a great deal of freedom to their child, in his ability to manage their favorite object.
So, don’t worry if the blanket is still present in the lives of your older ones, they are the ones who manage after all!