Contents
Hello! Today we will try to figure out why self-development trainings do not help. After all, now it is difficult to meet a person who has not visited at least one in his life. Someone does it consciously, someone is sent from work, recommended in the process of studying, and so on. It doesn’t matter how they get there, sometimes one thing unites all people — a complete lack of results.
Causes
Lack of responsibility
When we get sick and go to the hospital, we count on help. That medical professionals know what and how to treat. They don’t need our instructions and stuff.
In the same way, when attending trainings, a person thinks that the leader is an expert in his field and will somehow miraculously pass on knowledge and skills that will be useful in later life.
But there is no magic, no matter how professional the coach is, you must take responsibility for the result. The same is true with treatment.
Just a consultation can help, except perhaps for hypochondriacs, that is, individuals who crave attention and invent illnesses for themselves, quite realistically experiencing ailments and pains. In other cases, treatment is prescribed.
And if you have been prescribed certain medications, you must admit that it is foolish to expect recovery without completely following the doctor’s recommendations.
In general, the desired results are usually achieved by those who understand that they will have to make an effort and work hard. And, without taking the position of a passive observer, periodically yawning, waiting for a miracle to happen. That the coach, as if via Wi-Fi, will transfer the necessary data to him and reinstall the program, updating the basic settings.
Lack of awareness of your goals and needs
If you go to self-development training just wanting to have fun, then most likely this is what will happen to you. Best case scenario.
Often people who do not realize what expectations they have and what goals they are pursuing are irritated. They are simply bored and not in the way they would like. Because no matter how tasty the candy is, if you want salted fish, the sweetness will be thrown away. Especially if the desire has not yet been identified. Then everything will not be tasty and not if it is not fish.
In the same way, the coach can be depreciated (well, for example, he is not such a professional), the rest of the participants (stupid people who deal with garbage and believe a charlatan) and, in general, science itself.
It is difficult to reach a destination without knowing the information about it. Truth? Knowing the address and the starting point, we build a route.
Therefore, be sure to explore your goals and desires so that you don’t end up among the indignant who simply threw money away. But they did not receive useful knowledge and skills.
You can follow the instructions in this article. It indicates not only how to form goals, but also plan, prioritize, choose the most optimal ways to solve problems.
Economy
Unfortunately, the situation with trainings is like in a joke about a psychiatric hospital: «Whoever puts on a bathrobe first is the doctor.» The market for the provision of psychological services is literally crowded. And mostly so-called specialists who have no education.
Let them have well-developed oratory, intuition and so on. They have no direct knowledge in this area. Along with a diploma.
That is, you yourself understand, buying a very cheap or dubious product and expecting it to be of high quality is at least pointless.
So be careful in choosing the program you want to go to. You have every right to receive information about the structure of the training and the education of the facilitator.
High expectations
If a person, ignoring reality, begins to expect too much, he is unlikely to receive it. Yes, we are taught to dream without limits and expect the best possible result in any activity.
But going to the grocery store with the intention of buying a hair dryer is not exactly the right decision. Then the mood will be spoiled by disappointment, and relations with sellers who will have to endure a stream of anger that they do not sell electrical appliances. But the main thing is that time will be lost and the task will not be solved.
The motto: “We are not looking for easy ways” does not work in this situation. In fact, it’s completely unnecessary. Set realistic goals for yourself and you will surely achieve them. No matter how professional the coach is, he is limited by the topic, time. And, if you remember the first point, he is not a wish-granting magician.
Completion
And finally, I want to remind you that each of us is a unique person. And what one learns in a day, the other will have to “nurture” inside before he understands the meaning, much more time. Sometimes not a day, or two, but for years.
Self-development is not an easy process. But much needed and exciting. So do not stop there, but fill your life with new bright colors!
Take care of yourself and be happy!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina