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Too often we apologize for no reason, and at the right time we cannot find the words to ask for forgiveness for real. How to act so that our interlocutor understands and forgives us?
We hear and say the words “sorry” and “sorry” every day on a variety of occasions. This greatly devalues our apology. But sometimes we put our soul, sleepless nights, sincere repentance and a desire to make amends in a laconic “sorry”. New York-based artist Yao Xiao drew a series of , in which she clearly showed when it is better to refuse empty apologies. She recommends replacing “sorry” with “thank you.” Based on this comic, we have compiled our own list of situations where such a replacement would be appropriate.
Pass the tests
- How are your relationships with people?
“Sorry, I’m late!”
In the hit parade of the most frequently used phrases, this one undoubtedly occupies an honorable first place. How many times have we, late for a meeting with a friend, texted “Sorry!!!” embellished with a dozen exclamation marks? And when they met, they didn’t let him even insert a word, uttering apologies in every way? In response, we usually get a doomed sigh and a reproachful look. Yao suggests replacing this phrase with “Thank you for your patience!” In this way, we not only let the person know that we are sorry for our lateness, but also express our gratitude to him for waiting for us so patiently. Believe me, the ice will melt immediately.
“I’m sorry, I’m talking nonsense”
We all need to pour out our souls from time to time. But when we notice that for one hour and forty minutes we have been trying in confused terms to explain to our best friend the reasons for breaking up with her lover, only one phrase comes to mind. That’s right, filled with apologies. What do we want to tell her? That our experiences are nonsense and that we were wasting her time for more than an hour and a half? But if you say “Thank you for listening” or “Thank you for understanding me”, then everything takes on a completely different shade. Instead of apologizing for your feelings, it’s better to thank someone who understands and supports you. It will be much more pleasant for him.
Read more:
- “By constantly apologizing, we deprive children of a sense of security”
“I’m sorry I disappointed you”
Close people are ready to support us in any endeavors. But sometimes it happens that a promising project failed, and the goal turned out to be unattainable. However, the ability to admit defeat does not mean that we have to apologize for it. You can say, “Thank you for believing in me all this time.” In this phrase, unlike the previous one, there is not bitterness of disappointment, but warmth and gratitude.
“Sorry for taking up your time”
Many of us begin a telephone conversation with this remark, although this is perhaps the most useless excuse in the world. Waste of a pretty powerful word. The interlocutor does not even know the topic of the conversation yet, but is already tuned in a negative way. Moreover, we ourselves tell him that we are distracting him, even if he did not have it in his thoughts. “Thank you for your time!” – this option is much better. Said at the end of the conversation, this phrase will make it clear how grateful we are for being listened to.
“I’m sorry!”
“Stop apologizing for nothing!” a young man says to his girlfriend on the street. “Sorry!” he hears back. These conversations happen all the time. At gas stations, in shops, in the companies of friends. We apologize for what we apologize for. It’s time to break out of this vicious circle. Yao Xiao encourages us to say “thank you”. Rather than apologizing for our existence, it is better to thank our loved ones for treating us well.
Read more:
- “I’m sorry”: how to apologize correctly
When to Apologize
There are situations when a sincere “sorry” is indispensable. British comedian Viv Groskop has compiled a list of five times when only a sincere apology can save the day.
- Sometimes we need to apologize just to make ourselves feel better. I somehow completely forgot about the meeting with my best friend, I remembered her only the next day. My friend was funny, but my soul was scraped by cats. But after a simple and sincere “I’m sorry” from my shoulders, it was like a mountain fell off.
- Feel free to admit your guilt. If you are wrong, if you have hurt or offended a friend, it is better to apologize. You can laugh it off, you can change the subject – but it’s like sticking a band-aid on a serious wound. Better heal the cut with an apology.
- During a heated argument, lost control of yourself and raised your voice to a loved one? Even if you think he is wrong, apologize. This simple word does not mean that you accept his point of view, but that you repent for an ugly act and appreciate his love.
- Try to restrain yourself and not shout out: “I told you! I knew it would be bad!” and instead say “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry that you feel bad right now.” Instead of resentment, the interlocutor will feel support and will be grateful to you.
- You have taken the last parking space. They took the last bun on the counter. Spilled someone else’s coffee. Sprayed from a puddle. No, you are not to blame. But at least pretend. And sorry.