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Many of us, of course, are familiar with this word, but it can be difficult to give it an exact definition. Here are six sexist statements that women hear about themselves every day – they weaken self-esteem and harm the psyche.
1. “For a woman, you are surprisingly good at…”
Women who achieve success in the until recently male field – science and sports, for example – are no strangers to this “compliment in reverse.” Saying these condescending words, many men, on the one hand, recognize female success, and on the other, they immediately devalue it. Have you ever met a man who was told at least once that he is doing something well, despite the fact that he is a man?
2. “Calm down”
When men express their opinion with passion, it goes to their advantage. When women do this, their words and opinions, anxiety or enthusiasm are often not taken seriously, attributing them to female “sensitivity”. Telling women to relax or calm down when they are expressing their opinion, especially in a professional environment, is to interfere with their work.
3. “Smile!”
Many women will say that they have heard this phrase more than once when, for some reason, they allowed themselves a neutral, unemotional, thoughtful or angry expression. At the same time, it doesn’t matter at all for what reason: perhaps the woman was just walking down the street, riding the subway, or concentrating on current affairs. Be that as it may, if she does this without smiling, according to many, she defies the female “duty” to look sweet and welcoming.
The artist Tatyana Fazlalizade, who addressed this topic in the project “Stop Telling Women to Smile”, expressed the problem in the best way possible: “When a man says to a woman “smile”, he hardly wants to cheer her up. Rather, it is about demonstrating your power and control. He wants her to look more feminine towards him. He tries to make her look the way he likes. Women should smile only when they are in the right mood.”
4. “Cool … (hereinafter the name of any part of the body)”
A recent study by Cornell University found that 85% of American women experience on the streets before the age of 17.
There is an unspoken belief that a woman’s body can be distracting, embarrassing, but a man’s can’t.
may take many forms – they are loudly whistled after them, show insulting gestures, throw dirty smirks and glances, but most often they are expressed in unwanted comments that turn a woman into an inanimate object, highlighting certain parts of the body. As a rule, men insist that they wanted to pay a compliment in this way, but the truth is that it is unlikely that they themselves have ever received such “compliments” from women.
5. “You should thank God that I…”
Women are often told that they should be grateful that “something worse” hasn’t happened to them. This is especially true in a culture that blames women survivors of sexual assault for what happened to them. Men, for the most part, don’t live with that expectation: that they have to be prepared for the worst all the time. Instead of continuing to uphold this norm, we need to create a world in which women live with the same basic sense of security as men.
6. “Your body / clothes / appearance confuses me, distracts me”
The dress code in schools, universities and offices is not only annoying, but also violates the right of a person to have his own style. As a rule, it is mainly intended for women. There is an unspoken belief that a woman’s body can be distracting, embarrassing, but a man’s can’t.
“It turns out that we want to support and protect only men,” says women’s rights expert Jessica Valenti. “That is, women distract men from work or study, and therefore it is their actions that should be controlled.”
Those who still carry out such messages have one thing in common – they come down to a question of power. They seek to completely concentrate it in the hands of men, giving them the right to belittle and defame the “weaker” sex. Is it worth reconciling or is it time to think about a different alignment of forces?