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Hello, friends! In this article I want to discuss such a thing as self-criticism, its importance in a person’s life, as well as its impact on the future. We will look at what positive aspects it brings to human life, as well as how it can destroy many aspects of the psyche, relationships and development opportunities.
What is self-criticism?
Self-criticism is a personal quality that allows you to evaluate your own actions and motives from an objective and unbiased side. This is the trait due to which a person himself can find shortcomings in his own work and character traits, in behavior and relationships with people.
Self-criticism necessarily includes self-esteem, without arrogance and narcissism. Being in these two positions at the same time, a person is able not to get angry at the whole outside world and make timely attempts to change. Other comments are accepted with gratitude. A person is able to listen to the advice of others, even if they are given from an edifying position.
For comparison: someone who is inaccessible to criticism of their actions and personality will perceive comments with anger, trying to attack in response or defend themselves. In many ways, the ability to be critical is explained by the level of self-acceptance and self-love, the ability to put up with the imperfection of the world. It is not an innate and stable characteristic, but rather a consequence of education.
If desired, each person is able to adjust the level of criticality of the inner gaze. This can happen after significant events, changes, or as a result of directed work with a psychotherapist.
How to relate to this concept and what to do with your own level of criticism — everyone decides for himself. To make the right decision, I recommend that you carefully study the positive and negative aspects of the influence of self-criticism on a person’s life.
Positive aspects of self-criticism
For a mature person, critical remarks are the norm. They bring only positive changes, even if the initial feelings are unpleasant. It’s absolutely normal to be upset by the realization that somewhere the level of knowledge does not match or the work was done poorly. But it is the understanding and analysis of one’s actions that make it possible to improve oneself.
Criticism of oneself should work for personal development and elimination of shortcomings, help develop the ability to see one’s weaknesses in time and form a different position.
Ideally, criticism directed at oneself helps to realistically assess the situation. Those. quality, which is initially positioned as an assessment of one’s condition, eventually leads to the ability to evaluate others.
A person who is able to adequately understand his condition can objectively evaluate others, which helps to build high-quality connections. And the one who considers himself the most intelligent and beautiful (in the absence of self-criticism) or unworthy and ugly (with its excessive development), as a result, cannot adequately assess the situation in the real world.
Thus, a healthy critical and even slightly ironic attitude towards oneself ensures good socialization. It helps to see the paths of necessary development.
Healthy self-criticism should lead to:
- an increase in the level of personal responsibility (for the future and decision-making in current situations);
- taking on certain restrictions and austerities related to the elimination of harmful habits and actions (refers to situations when a person performs unnecessary actions);
- implementation of a new activity, the purpose of which is further development (concerns situations when the necessary actions are not performed).
In all cases, actions are required that change the person himself and his reality, attitude to the world. If a person only talks about his own unworthiness and depravity, without making any attempts to turn the situation in his favor, then such a state is called self-blame or self-flagellation.
The purpose of such empty talk can be reduced to a call for sympathy from others. Such a desire to get help or plunge into sad experiences.
If changes do not occur, self-criticism ceases to be a useful quality for the individual and begins to manifest itself from the negative side.
How can self-criticism interfere with life and fulfillment?
It is good if a person can not only see his own shortcomings, but also direct them in a positive direction of change. But remember yourself when your reproaches did not turn into changes.
Examples of destructive self-criticism:
- Constantly scolding yourself for lack of willpower and excess weight, continuing to eat cakes in kilograms.
- To break in the proof of their professional insolvency, while refusing to take refresher courses.
- Reproach yourself for the lack of interest in yourself among others, while being rude and doing bad things towards people.
Such examples show how excessive self-criticism without a vector of effective activity can be introduced into our lives. At the same time, the consequences of such behavior can be quite serious for the individual and the psyche as a whole.
Among the common violations due to an increased level of criticality, there may be:
- reduced self-esteem;
- development of inferiority complexes;
- increased internal anxiety;
- problems in building social ties;
- lack of professional and creative realization;
- general degradation of the personality (in the most severe and prolonged cases).
Being exclusively a habit of building the course of one’s own thoughts, self-criticism can move a person away from the realization of his goals. Anyone who constantly scolds himself and considers himself a loser is unlikely to try his hand at a new project. Those who think they are ugly rarely approach to get acquainted, thereby taking away a lot of opportunities from their lives.
In addition, it is worth remembering that people treat us the way we allow it. This means that the more a person tells about his shortcomings, the more they will be seen in him. For comparison, look at those who constantly talk about their luck, professionalism and other virtues — objectively they can be the same as those of the one who criticizes himself, but in the eyes of others, one will be a loser and the other a winner. A strong tendency to exaggerate shortcomings eventually makes them real.
Conclusion
As you can see from the above, the lack of self-criticism, as well as its excessive manifestation, can lead to disastrous results. The benefit and degree is determined by each person independently in relation to the situation and inner self-perception. The main thing is to focus on the possibility of transforming the ability to notice shortcomings into the ability to correct them.
I recommend that you also read the article: “Life is movement or how to extend your life?”.
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Until next time!