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What am I doing here? It’s the uncle’s fault.
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Dad knows what a responsible approach is. The son does not know.
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Responsibility is the ability of a subject (a person, a group of people or an organization) to adequately answer for what he has been entrusted with or for what he has taken upon himself. If a person said what he would do — and did, he is a responsible person. If he can promise and not deliver, he is not a responsible person.
The demand to take responsibility and the obligation to answer is a masculine, tough style of resolving issues in which everything is objective, clear and measurable. Responsibility is from the realm of the objective, male world. Women’s style is soft, everything in it is subjective, blurry and rather felt than measurable. In the women’s dictionary, instead of «taking responsibility» it says «care, worry and worry.» Caring is from the field of human relations, from the female world.
One of the manifestations of responsibility is a responsible approach (to business, to one’s words and obligations, to one’s life). A responsible approach is an approach when it is known who is responsible (and this is a person responsible by nature), it is known to whom he is responsible, with what and for what he is specifically responsible. On the contrary, irresponsibility, or an irresponsible approach, is when some of this (or all of this) is unknown.
A responsible approach to business is usually manifested in things that are understandable to all business people: I understood the task, set a goal, developed a plan, resolved the issue with resources, and did it. A responsible approach is typical for business, more precisely for people who understand business and value business. For personal life, a responsible approach is characteristic to a much lesser extent, here a more romantic approach is more common, described by the words: I worry, I worry, I care, I hope, I love, I believe … I believe in myself, I believe in luck, I believe in God.
What is a responsible approach is more understandable in business, more understandable to people with male psychology, results workers and, in principle, adults. In personal life and for people who are more in the psychology of process workers and less adults, the place of responsibility is occupied by diligence: “I tried!”
Caring and diligence is a fairly common, although not quite complete, substitute for responsibility. Not everyone understands the difference between diligence and responsibility. Many intelligent and well-educated people are convinced that if they have worked honestly and sincerely tried, they have shown a responsible approach. Unfortunately, this is not so. Responsibility and diligence are two very different things.
The employee tried her best, but did not do what she needed to do in time. How does she feel about it? No way. The girl knows that she had a state of mind of diligence, diligence, which means that she is good, she tried, and her soul is calm. And that there is no result — well, no, she did not take responsibility for it. She promised to try, and she did it. This employee does not yet understand that more is required of her — not her good (correct) mental state of effort, but precisely and only the result.
«It should be done by tonight!»
— OK I will try.
Are you going to try or will you?
— Yes, I will. If there is a force majeure, I will notify you in advance.
— Thanks, I’ll wait.
You can take an obligation to try, or you can take responsibility that the job will be done. This is stronger. Host N.I. Kozlov
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Not “I’ll try”, but “I’ll do it!”, That’s what an adult says, taking responsibility for the result.
Exercise «Try to put a chair!» (see video) is not about where to put the chair, but about the fact that diligence as a characteristic of a diligent process and responsibility for the result are two different things. «I did my best!» — in a serious matter, this is an excuse and an excuse. If you tried, but you didn’t, no one cares about your inner state of mind. The result is no.
Real life examples: Chairman Kirill Orlovsky
On July 6, 1944, Hero of the Soviet Union, lieutenant colonel of state security Kirill Orlovsky wrote a letter to I.V. Stalin, where he asked for money in exchange for obligations. Look at what … And most importantly — he did it! See →