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Most of us are constantly under stress due to unpleasant events, anxiety and bad news. Psychologist Tara Brach suggests fighting this through radical acceptance. What is it and how to use it?
2021 has passed, which for many was even harder than the previous ones. The COVID-19 pandemic continues. Vaccination rates are low. The consequences of climate change are getting closer: forest fires and tsunamis are already shaking the planet. Political and social issues are also a concern for many, and weekly we are under the stress of bad news. This list is endless.
There are many tactics that help not to become depressed from what is happening around. One of them is the concept of “radical acceptance”.
What Radical Acceptance Offers
The idea of radical acceptance has been promoted for almost 20 years by Tara Brach, a PhD in psychology and a teacher of meditation. In an interview with Mashable, she describes the idea as a willingness to “take yourself and life as they are.” The psychologist wrote a book about the concept – “Radical Acceptance. How to heal psychological trauma and look at your life with the eyes of the Buddha.
How to come to radical acceptance
Brach divides radical acceptance into two parts:
After going through these two stages, according to Brach, you need to ask yourself the question: “Can I calmly look at what is happening and accept it?” It is worth being honest with yourself: the answer is not necessarily positive. Under such circumstances, one accepts that one is not yet ready to work it out. First you need to live.
Why Radical Acceptance Helps
The psychologist believes that this practice can switch the human body from the “fight or flight” mode, when the stress hormones produced switch the brain to self-preservation mode. This evolutionary reaction plays an important role in life. However, if you do not keep it under control, it can force a person to make many rash decisions “on emotions”. In addition, due to constant stress, sleep problems can begin, well-being and mental health worsen. Radical acceptance can bring a person out of the trap of constant negativity.
Why pauses are needed
Brach recommends trying to slow down the rhythm of the day to such a state that your emotions can be recognized and fixed quite clearly. Of course, it is difficult to achieve this in the flow of informational noise. Therefore, it is worthwhile to block the phone more often, close the lid of the laptop and turn off the TV. “The speed of the modern world reduces our ability to introspect. The higher it is, the worse we listen to our feelings, the worse we process information. We fall into the trap of stereotypes and do not notice how we act within the framework of prejudices. We just don’t have time to think,” says the psychologist.
Radical acceptance also helps to combat premonition of failure: a situation where people decide in advance that they will lose, and begin to feel anxiety and shame. In such a situation, a person falls into a “trance of inferiority”, that is, a deep sense of bad luck that undermines relationships, creativity, performance and, ultimately, the ability to live in pleasure. It’s like “learned helplessness”.
Learned helplessness
Outwardly, learned helplessness looks like inaction. A person subject to it does nothing even in simple life situations and waits for help from others. He avoids responsibility and does not show initiative, he has no curiosity for something new. At first, learned helplessness manifests itself in certain situations, but it can spread to all areas of life. Any need to decide something will be accompanied by a sense of the inevitability of a negative outcome. Such people are characterized by pessimistic thoughts: “everything is bad”, “nothing can be fixed”, “nothing will work out”. Psychologist Aleksandrina Grigorieva recommended that you see a specialist if you feel that “learned helplessness” dominates your life. To prevent early signs, you can follow these tips.
Brach suggests, in these situations, acknowledging feelings of inferiority and “radically accepting” your strengths and weaknesses, which will develop courage, self-compassion, and greater resilience to meet challenges.
RAIN exercise
To gradually learn radical acceptance, the psychologist recommends doing the RAIN exercise (from the English. Recognize, Allow, Study, Reward), which can take no more than a minute. At the time of anxiety, it is worth doing the following steps: