What is our body screaming about right now?

“When, against the background of stress, incomprehensible headaches begin, sensations of tightness, tension, it presses and knocks in the temples — this is normal. Most often it is a so-called «tension headache». And it has precisely psychological factors at its core, that is, it speaks of a stressful reaction,” explains Oksana Yefimova. — Pain in the eyes when they begin to water and get tired more quickly; a nervous tic in any part of the body is also about overexertion.” 

The first step is to accept and speak 

“If some unpleasant symptom appears, the first thing you want to do is start fighting it. And fighting with the body is more expensive for yourself, says Oksana Yefimova. — Most of the requests on this topic sound like this: “How can I remove …”, “How can I win …”, “How can I fix …” I always say: we do not remove the clamps, because this is an adaptation of our body, it is now adapting like this — as he can. But it’s better than nothing.»

Fold your arms over your chest, as if telling yourself: «I’m supporting myself now», «I’m with myself now.» Say your symptoms out loud: “Yes, I have eye twitching/constricted diaphragm/lower back pain…” right now. And then add: «…and at the same time I can accept myself completely, I can love myself and take care of myself.»

Do not say that the symptoms are bad and «nasty» — where there is more struggle, there is even more tension. 

What does pain in different parts of the body mean? 

The jaw

When we lift heavy things, for example, we want to rearrange a closet, we strain our whole body, including clenching our jaw strongly. In a stressful situation, we also need to endure something — hence the corresponding clamps. 

Another reason could be a family scenario. “If the expression “Tolerate a Cossack — you will be an ataman” dominates in the family, then the grandmother’s jaw will be clamped, and both dad and mom. And that means I have too, ”explains Oksana Efimova. 

Small of the back

When the lower back falls off, it may be due to the need to be an adult. The square muscles of the lower back are included when, in childhood, we move from crawling to walking. 

“The child gets up and understands that he is already like an adult — “stand on your own feet”. The square muscle of the lower back is actively working here. And this muscle speaks of the balance of our childhood and adulthood. On the one hand, it is an opportunity to follow one’s impulses, children’s desires, “what I want”, and on the other hand, the ability to restrain oneself at some point, to be independent and stable. This balance lives in the quadratus lumborum.” 

Shoulder pain

“These are muscles that turn on when threatened, so that they don’t “fly” over the head. This is the expectation of a trick. In a situation of uncertainty, the expectation of a dirty trick increases. The more I’m used to control, the more trick I expect. This is about trust (or distrust) in the world, ”says the psychologist. 

Cold hands and feet, increased sweating

These are adrenaline reactions. “Those who believe that cold hands and feet since childhood are just such a condition, it’s just vegetovascular dystonia – there is no such diagnosis, it is not recognized in the world community. This is not normal: we are warm-blooded animals, everything should be warm with us. Such states are neurotic symptoms, and they also speak of insecurity. Constantly, in the background, we are not very safe. And, yes, this feeling can persist from childhood. 

Allergy

«Alarm» of the body, too sensitive reaction to danger. “It’s about the level of anxiety. I have seen many cases where the allergy went away, if the person just got a sense of basic security, the background anxiety went away.” 

Loss of body boundaries

“An interesting symptom is when people begin to demolish corners with their bodies: here they hit, then they cut themselves with a leaf — some domestic injuries, as if the feeling of the boundaries of the body has been lost. This is also a signal of stress, because we want to fly out of the body a little, not to be in it. This is such a good psychological defense — to fly away somewhere in fantasies, thoughts. 

Other symptoms

They also include skin problems, scabies, pimples, worsening sleep quality, reduced libido, abrupt awakening, impaired concentration, memory due to stress.

What to do with it?

We noticed that something happened. We talked about it, we acknowledged it. Understand what it tells us. What to do with it next? Let’s look at a few practices. They are suitable for both adults and children. 

“I always recommend trying right away. Until it is just at the level of an idea and lived through the body, it is not appropriated, not integrated. The bodily, emotional experience is important, what I really did, ”says Oksana Yefimova. 

1. Chew 

Buy a teething toy from the drugstore or get yourself a wine stopper. Think about your difficult situation or problem that you need to solve — and start chewing hard on a toy or cork. Think actively about your situation.

It is important to bring yourself into emotional contact. For example, just hitting a pillow or going to the gym, “letting off steam” is pointless, you need to remember why we experience certain symptoms. Actively chew and say: «I can solve this, I have the strength to do this.»

2. Practice grounding

The legs are the main organ of salvation. If we turn back, we will remember: our ancestors escaped with their feet, ran away. Stand or sit on the edge of a chair to support your legs. Notice and feel them. Usually we do not see them during the day, they are under the table, as if cut off. And this is also bad for the psyche at the subconscious level: how to escape is not clear, there is no feeling that we can run away at any moment. 

Shift your body weight to your feet and begin to cling to your toes like a cat claws, and as if holding on to the ground. Breathe deeply. Try widening your toes — if you’re wearing tight shoes, this will be difficult to do. Tight shoes sometimes also unconsciously add stress — the legs become compressed and cold. 

3. Nice place

Imagine a good place in front of you: it could be your grandmother’s kitchen, a river bank, a beach, a warm sea, your bathroom. The best place is where you’ve been before. This will be your safe territory. There are threats behind us. 

This technique is especially suitable for those who have something numb (this is how the freezing reaction is turned on). “When our subconscious mind decides that we can’t cope, it tells us:“ You are a corpse, so freeze, get colder — the predator will lose interest in you. Then we turn on the flight response. What can we do if we have such an ancient firmware!”, says Oksana Yefimova. 

“Is it possible to just visualize a good place?” asked in the comments. “You can, if you are good at this skill and meditate every day for two hours,” says the psychotherapist. Visualization is the ability to concentrate and control your attention. The prefrontal cortex is actively involved in visualization, which turns off when the stress level is a little higher than usual — it becomes very difficult to visualize and meditate. I am for a combination of visualization and body work, ”adds the specialist. 

4. Something above us

Sit on your seat bones and, as you exhale, shift your weight onto them even more. Raise your shoulders to your ears as much as possible and with all your strength clasp your hands in fists in front of you, as if trying to hold something. We are trying to keep the situation in which we now find ourselves.  

“Perhaps you will see that there is some higher meaning, higher justice. There is a big world, its orders, laws, — explains the psychologist. — When we look up — this is about a certain carelessness, I do not need to look hard at my feet. When you walk and look up: “Oh, leaves, birds, twigs” — this already gives greater psychological relaxation.  

Then lower your shoulders and arms as far as you are willing to trust the world. You can put your hands on your knees. Say: “I can trust space, the universe, God” — something that is larger than you, everyone will have their own. Practice can last from 1,5 minutes or longer. 

5. Scaling up resources 

You need to fill your resources — something that you can rely on. The more of them, the lower the stress level. Perhaps you have enough of them, then you need to realize this. It is also important to reduce the feeling of overcontrol when we feel like we should be in control of everything and everyone.  

6. No sweets and carbohydrates 

When we are nervous and worried, we often want to eat something floury and sweet. But this is a misleading feeling. When we are stressed, our sugar levels rise. Carbohydrates and sweets exacerbate the situation: they increase the level of cortisol — the stress hormone, he feeds on it. 

Prefer nuts to a bun or chocolate bar — these are fat and protein that will be digested for a long time and give the brain the necessary amount of energy. At night, you can eat baked or boiled vegetables.

^{Text: Tatyana Zasypkina}