What is fatigue for you: “an unaffordable luxury”, a normal temporary phenomenon or a permanent state? Do you know how to determine the measure of your own fatigue, do you know when to “slow down” and gain strength?
I have met people whose fear of experiencing fatigue makes them unable to actively live and act. They think that fatigue is almost deadly. They carefully protect themselves and their loved ones from it. Some panic if they see a tired child, and they themselves perceive fatigue as something unnatural and threatening their life and health.
I have also met those who do not know how to experience fatigue, not allowing themselves to acknowledge that it exists at all. For such people, there is simply no experience of loss of strength, their own limitations, the need for rest, relaxation, switching. They work like clockwork, think non-stop, react to any stimulus from the outside, being unable to turn off the phone, disconnect from tasks and problems. Powerlessness for them is a dangerous enemy, relaxation threatens with a catastrophe.
More than once I have met those who, in someone else’s corrosive look, are simply messing around: they do not do any important or even unimportant business, put everything off, cannot overcome themselves, even the bed is not able to make a bed, but at the same time they feel extremely tired .
Fatigue is a natural consequence of putting our strength into something. If we have a lot of energy, strength, internal resources, then we can invest a lot. If the supply of energy is small (as is the case with sick people, some old people, people with asthenia or other physiological and psychological characteristics), then we can invest a little or get tired quickly.
A simple conclusion follows from this: we all get tired in very different ways, because we all have individual resource capabilities determined by the genotype, character structure, physiological characteristics and situation. Often we are not very aware and understand what resources are given to us. At the same time, unfortunately, we can project our sense of resourcefulness onto another person, saying: “You will get tired, let me!”, or “What are you tired of, you didn’t do anything?”
Staying in intrapersonal conflict, stress, anxiety takes a lot of energy from us.
Another observation: we get tired of different things.
For some people, socializing with others, giving a lecture, or simply solving an issue by talking to others is a pleasure. For others, the same process is extraordinarily costly. Although, for example, it will be a pleasure for them to read a complex text, but for someone else it will be incredibly difficult.
For people who are depressed, just getting on with their lives is an overwhelming task, let alone getting out of bed and doing something. At least on this basis, we cannot judge who can get tired of what.
Most of us do not even always know what tires us the most and at what point normal fatigue from what we have done turns into exhaustion. The illusion is created by the conditional «universality» of the load.
Thirty children in the class write a test, at the end five will be in a pleasant tone, seven will simply be tired, a few more will be very tired, and someone will be exhausted by these 45 minutes of super-stressful for him. Perhaps it was these children who were very worried about the result, were afraid of the reaction of their parents to their poor grades, or experienced extreme anxiety, which had to be dealt with somehow and at the same time solve problems.
Staying in any intrapersonal conflict, stress, anxiety, strong feelings takes a lot of strength from us. From the outside, it is quite difficult to understand how costly these or those efforts turned out to be for someone. Even the person himself cannot always assess the degree of loss of his energy. Unfortunately, in order to overcome this uncertainty, we try to create certainty and often quite unconsciously project our own state onto another, determining for him the degree of his fatigue, depriving him of the opportunity to learn how to do it himself.
People who deny their fatigue, who are accustomed to exploiting their body to perform some life tasks, may not notice when the loss of strength turns into exhaustion. It’s one thing when life requires a breakthrough, the exertion of all forces to solve some important problem, and at some point the problem is solved, and a person can rest, relax.
Another thing is when the ruthless exploitation of one’s own resources is a constant pattern of behavior. It is characteristic of people who experience powerlessness badly: at this moment they are not able to do something themselves and are forced to depend on others. Probably, it was in a state of impotence that some unpleasant situations happened to them. As a result, they unconsciously or consciously live in such a way as to avoid any weakness, dependence, and even just rest and peace in every possible way.
They not only choose a costly way to live, but also do not know how to recover, rest, and fill up. Therefore, when energy reserves are still depleted, diseases, depression, apathy and asthenia come. These states are terrifying, and as soon as at least some strength returns, a new circle of flight from impotence begins.
The ability to notice the nuances of one’s condition: fatigue, hunger, coldness, feelings, desires, and the ability to adequately respond to these signals is the most important minimum of mental and other health. Do we teach this to our children? Can we do it ourselves?
Being tired is just as natural as being full of energy. If we invested in something, fatigue comes
I was once told a story about how a primary school teacher taught first graders to notice their own fatigue, loss of attention, desire to be distracted. When the children mastered this skill, it was much easier for them to manage their condition and they were better included in the lesson.
This story touched me extremely: how important it is when a wise adult teaches children not only school subjects, but also basic things — to know how you are arranged, to manage, and not fight with yourself, with your natural state.
Being tired is just as natural as being full of energy. If we have invested in something, fatigue comes. If we know how to rest and relax, then soon we will again be full of strength for new exploits.
We live in a natural alternation of cycles: day and night, tension and relaxation. None of this is dangerous or harmful when we allow the natural dynamics, the changing of these states, to take place.
Everything becomes more complicated only when we lose touch with natural regulation and try to artificially hold on to what needs to change, considering some of the states to be unacceptable, difficult to experience, dangerous. After all, if we still do not understand the reasons for such attitudes and ideas, then we will go against nature and will certainly pay for it. Study yourself, it will help.