What is love

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Love is an interested, caring and attentive attitude towards and for the sake of what we love or whom we love. Love needs to be talked about for a long time, the right manifestations of love need to be learned, and at the University I give students many assignments on this topic. But in short, love is selfless and joyful care.

This is an interested, caring and attentive attitude to a person, things or any business or event. If an adult, intelligent and responsible person loves, other requirements are added to love: love should not be blind, but sighted and intelligent, not only by feeling, but also by responsible behavior. Love without respect is short-lived and fickle; respect without love is cold and feeble.

Unless, of course, we are talking about love, and not just about falling in love. Many people confuse love and infatuation, but in vain …

Many people judge love by feelings — by their own feelings and the feelings of a partner, but it seems that the feeling of love is only a reflection, only a glimpse of that real (or not real …) that actually lives in the soul. A separate and not simple conversation is about the foundations of love, about the driving forces that give birth to love. In any case, the feelings of lovers are very different, containing both delight, and tenderness, and fear, and hatred — depending on the type of love.

If we take a closer look at love, we can see a lot more in it. In love, as in relation, there are several lines. Love is not just feelings and behavior, it is a certain way of life with its own values, worldview, focus of attention, and even breathing and intonations. More:

The first is the hierarchy of values. The higher the beloved in the hierarchy of values, the more one can talk about love. If a man loves a woman, but football is still dearer to him, then the price of his love is low.

The second is the vision of the world in love. Everyone who has loved remembers how much the world is transformed in this state. In love-joyful care the world is bright and spacious. In this celebration of life, the surrounding people, things and deeds become alive, beautiful and meaningful for you: loved ones. On the other hand, everyone remembers: in love-suffering, the world is gray, dull, small and oppressive.

Living love is always kinesthetic and intimacy.

One of the simple tests about love is the question: «Where is your soul?» This is a question about focusing attention in love. In love-care for a loved one, you think that the focus of attention is on him, and not on yourself. You love when you see your loved one as if in a ray of light, in a ray of your warmth. And you make sure that your warmth constantly warms your loved one, make sure that this ray of warmth is constantly present above this person. We can say that in true love there is no me, there is only a loved one. In crooked love, on the other hand, a person can be completely self-centered. In love, WE lovers do not stand opposite each other, but look in one direction.

The more people grow up, the more they understand that love is not so much a feeling as it is a behavior. You can say whatever you want, but your deeds speak the most about your love. The behavior of love is caring, where the beloved is self-worth, and attention to detail. However, each of us has our own love languages, and it is better to convey our love to a loved one so that he can understand our intentions.

If you go deeper into the soul, then the surest feature of love is finding a person in a position of love, in a position of WE. This is a special state of mind and thinking, when a loved one ceases to be separate from you, when he becomes a part of our life, when in any matter you think about him and his interests.

The position of love is not caring about yourself, but about us. We take care of the two of us together.

The basis of love in the position of a parent is caring. The basis of love in the child’s position is craving. The basis of love in the position of an adult is meaning. See Parent-Adult-Child

Are there any clear indicators that would determine whether he loves or not? But I love — or just invented and persuade myself? How to check if you are serious — is there love or not? What is between us — love or something else? There are no clear boundaries here, but some things are worth thinking about. The boundaries of love are our subjective signs and boundaries, within which, with all the variety of manifestations, we say that this is still love. And beyond the borders — no longer love.

​​​​​​​Personal characteristics give the form and formula of love their arrangement. We can say — how many people, so many types of love. However, are different types of love equivalent, are they equivalent? Can one say that one form or kind of love is more perfect than another? Is it possible to find the most perfect kind of love? All these are questions about the Formula of Love: a short formulation that expresses the essence of Love with a capital letter.

You can love a person as brightly and sincerely as you like, but he may not understand this. Love has its own languages ​​of love: care and time, time and attention, sex and obedience… And if you want him to understand and share your desire to convey your love to your loved one, convey your love to him not as you want, but in a language close to and understandable to the beloved. Everything is so strict…

Joy to you!

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Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.