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They are told about the most intimate, so it seems to many that they themselves have learned all the secrets of human souls. We have made it possible for psychologists to be philosophers. And they asked: what is happiness for them?
“And in the pursuit of happiness there is happiness”
Victor Kagan, psychotherapist
“What is happiness for me? To feel that, no matter how I was carried along the roads of life, I go on my own, albeit sometimes difficult, Path. Feel the fullness of life. Not in the sense that she gives me, but in how open I am to her, and she to me. To love is not to own those whom I love, or to depend on them, but to be truly needed by them. Does it always succeed? No.
Getting out of the forest, sometimes you have to wade through the thickets. But there is also happiness in the pursuit of happiness. I don’t think that psychologists find happiness easier or harder than for everyone else, and even more so that it is forced by the profession. It only helps to accept the suffering of being so as not to lose the desire for happiness. I am lucky – I have been enjoying my work for half a century.
If ever I feel in my relationship with the profession what I said above, I feel happy. But it is impossible to be happy 24 hours a day, and sometimes I repeat after Jules Renard, who was very fond of writing: “God, what crap I’m doing.” And such grumbling is also the brink of happiness.
I was once asked what is the meaning of life. He answered – in living, not fooling yourself endlessly with this question. Same with happiness. You experience happiness – and then it’s not up to words. But in striving for it, you talk to yourself, to others, to life, to a book. The main thing is not to become a princess and a pea. Because the poor is not the one who has little, but the one who has little.
“I give myself the right to bright emotions”
Maria Tikhonova, sex therapist
“Now I have just such a moment in my life when I am very happy. And I owe my happiness to my psychological knowledge. They helped me to clarify the picture of the world. I used to suffer, trying to unravel the actions of other people. And when I began to understand the reasons for their behavior, much turned out to be easier than I imagined.
At the same time, I saw how different we all are. Sometimes I just agree that something remains incomprehensible to me. My relationships with others have generally become much more accepting. In my professional life, I feel happy when I see that I help others to become happier.
And psychology taught me one more thing: to rely on internal sensations. If I’m happy, I won’t delve into myself to see if I’m kidding myself. I enjoy the state of quiet harmonious joy. The path of happiness is the path of ease, but at the same time, some uncertainty, lack of evidence.
For those who want the truth, measured in grams, it is difficult to connect with this lightness. Therefore, when I ask myself the question: “Masha, do you want to be right or happy?”, I make a choice in favor of the latter. It became easier for me to open up to others, and to them in front of me, from this relationship become deeper. And although sometimes friends say: “You’re a psychologist,” expecting me to always be self-possessed, I give myself the right to vivid emotions.
“We see right through each other”
Marina and Vladimir Baskakov, gestalt therapists
Marina Baskakova: “It happened that my daughter asked me in childhood: “Don’t talk to me with your psychological voice!” And I thought to myself: maybe I need to react more spontaneously, because children want to talk with their mother, and not with a psychologist. But in general, professional skills help to be more tolerant – both to children and to your feelings too. For example, when you are angry with your beloved child. I understand that my reactions are natural, it helps to deal with them somehow.
As for personal life, if two psychologists live together, then simple conversations “by the fireside” are no longer possible, because both are in the professional zone, both see through each other! But it’s never boring.”
Vladimir Baskakov: “Thanks to our muse of Psychology, Marina and I discovered each other. Psychologists have a different reality, we are “sharpened” to recognize behavioral and bodily mechanisms. Like a film director in a movie theater: he may sob out loud, empathizing with the heroine, but at the same time he notices that the light is set incorrectly.
And two psychologists in the family… It is not always pleasant to be the one who is seen through, but it helps to bring into the plane of awareness a lot that would otherwise remain hidden. For example, Marina says: “You are afraid of something.” And I agree: with her help, I saw it. She knows my weaknesses, and I hers. Thanks to psychology, life has not become easier, but it has become much more interesting.