How to organize free time so that the long-awaited days off do not result in apathy, dissatisfaction and irritation? How to tune in to thoughts about something useful or joyful?
Which of us, in the process of hard work, in a state of extreme fatigue, has not dreamed of one thing – to wait for the end of the project or the weekend and finally get complete freedom of action? At least one day – but to do whatever comes into your head, and think only about what you want – is not true happiness? But this long-awaited day comes, and it turns out that it is precisely when we are most free that we … are least able to act. Moreover, even managing the course of our own thoughts is difficult for us. Why is this happening?
Face Chaos
Unfortunately, thought processes are not as ordered as we would like to think. “The natural state of mind is not order, but chaos,” says American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi*. – This is confirmed, for example, by studies of sensory deprivation. In solitary confinement, people, isolated from sound, light, and unable to act, soon lose their direction of thought and, as they describe it, experience strange, uncontrollable fantasies and hallucinations. To stay in an ordered state, the brain needs ordered information. Having clear goals and receiving feedback, consciousness works without failures.
That’s why most of us are in a better mood at work than at home: at work, at least it’s clear what needs to be done. In the absence of an external stimulus, our thoughts begin to wander randomly. Instead of a pleasant logical chain of conscious mental constructions, extraneous thoughts suddenly appear. It turns out that it is very difficult to focus on one thing for more than a few minutes. And this is understandable from the point of view of evolution: if the functioning of our mind did not require external structured information, if we could create pleasant fantasies and enjoy our own thoughts for hours, then who would hunt saber-toothed tigers?
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- Down with oppressive thoughts!
Things to do
When we don’t know what to do with ourselves, or consciously refuse any business in principle (“I can finally have a rest!”), Another trap lies in wait for us: a bad mood. If our attention is not focused on any particular task and we allow thoughts to wander aimlessly, our free mind will sooner or later come across an unpleasant experience, a painful memory, which will spoil the mood a little.
Yes, in a “dispersed” state, it is precisely negative thoughts that more often overcome us, and this fact is also natural from the point of view of evolution. “A person turns to negative possibilities in the same way as a compass needle turns to a magnetic pole, as this is a reliable way to predict dangerous situations,” explains Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. “By thinking about unpleasant possibilities, we can prepare for the unexpected.”
But, you see, this property, useful for all mankind in the context of survival, is not very convenient for the life of each of us here and now.
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- Create every day
What can be done so that the long-awaited weekend does not result in apathy, dissatisfaction and irritation? How to tune in to thoughts about something useful or joyful?
Perhaps the answer will disappoint you, but it is natural:
- Structure your free time, set simple but clear goals and follow them.
- Include games (moving or board) and any sports in the weekend plan – they perfectly organize attention within narrow boundaries with the help of clear rules and therefore are one of the most enjoyable activities (as, indeed, ritual ceremonies).
- Develop inner discipline that allows you to focus by willpower. In this we are good helpers meditation, yoga, martial arts. Creative hobbies – drawing, playing a musical instrument, versification, reading scientific literature – also help to direct energy to the formation of consciousness. Any purposeful activity will not allow disorder to take over the mind **.
* Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the author of the term and theory of “flow” (flow), is one of the most authoritative and respected psychologists in the world. Born in what is now Croatia to a Hungarian family, he grew up and studied in Italy, and his entire professional career took shape in the United States. Professor at Claremont College, author of a dozen and a half books, including the famous Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (Flow: thePsychology of OptimalExperience, HarperandRow, 1990).
** For more on this, see Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, The Evolution of Personality (Alpina non-fiction, 2013).