Contents
Hello dear blog readers! Body shaming is the discrimination against people who, as it were, “do not fit” into generally accepted standards. Those who are overweight are most often bullied. Although those who seem too thin, tall, low, and so on also “get in”.
And today we will try to figure out how to resist aggression, which negatively affects self-esteem and causes a lot of complexes.
Who is the abuser
It is clear that a person who really loves himself, respects and accepts the way he is, does not feel the need to assert himself at the expense of others.
Bodyshamers simply did not know their own capabilities and features. They have not reached the level of development that will allow them to notice something good in the people around them without any tinsel, in the form of fashionable clothes, mandatory makeup and compliance with the canons of beauty.
Judge for yourself, at the moment when you are happy, do you have a desire to notice the shortcomings and imperfections of those who are nearby? Does the energy appear to harass someone, devalue or insult someone?
If you really feel inner balance and harmony, do you evaluate loved ones and loved ones for «matching» you?
By the way, to be a bodyshamer it is not necessary to have a lot of complexes, even unconscious ones. It is enough just to have excessive spontaneity and the lack of the ability to think critically and predict the likely outcome of events depending on their actions and words.
This applies to those who, having said nasty things, declare that they simply express their opinion and do not prevaricate. That is, he “blurts” what first comes to mind, without giving thought to analysis.
This type of bullying can also be used by those who are trying to win the competition. For example, accidentally dropping a friend that she gained a couple of extra pounds.
Such a person will try to find at least some flaw in another, brighter and more successful. This allows you to at least slightly reduce the level of anxiety and dissatisfaction with your life.
Casualties
Paradoxical as it may seem, but you can really look perfect and at the same time be a victim of bodyshamers. Famous personalities are criticized regardless of how they behave, look, and so on.
So you can safely get rid of the illusion that if you manage to become at least a little like any famous top model, then life will be filled with happiness and joy.
For example, Gigi Hadid, an American supermodel, one of the «angels» of Victoria’s Secret, at first experienced the anger of fans and haters due to the fact that they seemed too full. As though, not a format for such work.
But after she lost weight due to illness, no one breathed a sigh of relief. And with new forces they began to poison her, because now Gigi seemed too thin.
Trolling on the Internet
Most often, people choose the passive aggression method — after all, the easiest way is to create a fake page and write nasty things to those who dare to be successful or simply better at something. And sometimes even just being.
It is safe to engage in body shaming on the Internet, you can allow any insults and humiliations in one direction, since the one who is usually criticized does not have any personal information about the offender. Either his page is closed, or all the photos are too perfect.
There was one nasty case with Playboy model Dani Mathers. She apparently considered herself one of the best in the world. And when I saw a naked ordinary woman in the locker room of the fitness club, putting herself in order after a workout, I photographed her. Among other things, she posted it on the network, mentioning in the description that such a horror would not soon be forgotten.
Such actions could not but cause a storm of emotions. Some of her subscribers were indignant and horrified. They started a scandal that ended with the arrogant Dani getting kicked out of Playboy. And also forbidden to ever visit this fitness club directly.
How to fight
Those in the public eye, in particular the stars, simply need to be aware of the fact that they will always be criticized. Regardless of what measures you have to resort to in order to earn approval. Therefore, if they constantly talk about you behind your back, it means that you do not cause indifference. And this fact may well support.
Work on your self-esteem if you understand that you are reacting and worrying for a long time about what was said to you. If you love yourself for who you are, you will no longer be «cling» to the ridicule of others.
Change only if your weight and other features really negatively affect any of the areas of life. Only in this case you will get satisfaction from the work done.
The canons of beauty are changeable
It should be remembered that fashion is completely unstable. Either puffy beauties with a blush on their cheeks, or narrow-hip androgynes without a hint of breasts are popular. Learn to love your body the way you have it.
If only because it is special, it is yours and no beautiful curves can give happiness to a person with emptiness inside. Develop, fill yourself with something valuable, interesting, choose directly those things that suit you and notice the good that surrounds you. Then no bodyshamers will be able to knock the ground out from under your feet, if only because your position will be stable.
We are loved, appreciated and chosen for one simple reason — because we are somehow different from the rest. Just imagine that in the world all people will be the same. Would it be interesting to get to know them, to communicate?
The existing fashion for long hair and pumped up lips is sometimes displayed in various mocking memes. We are talking about girls who cannot be distinguished from each other. Is it beautiful? Our strength is in our individuality.
Dangers
In addition to the fact that a person’s self-esteem can significantly decrease due to bullying, which will only negatively affect his productivity, success, and well-being in general. And this threatens the emergence of severe protracted depression. This will also significantly worsen the state of health.
It turns out that according to statistics, overweight women have twice as many serious diseases that require urgent treatment. Than those who do not suffer about their figure. And it’s not that being overweight in itself is a burden on the heart and other organs and systems.
It turns out that psychological trauma against the background of ridicule and bullying makes itself felt in this way. Women simply do not go to doctors, because, firstly, it is embarrassing to present themselves, and secondly, they do not want to take care of themselves.
And this is in the best cases, the worst is the occurrence of problems with eating behavior, which manifests itself in a complete refusal to eat or, conversely, in overeating.
And also dysmorphia is a mental disorder, which is characterized by obsessive attention to one’s own figure. That is, it is the only object that is of interest to such a person.
Completion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Finally, I want to recommend you an article about ageism. And what it is, you can find out by clicking on this link.
And also share in the comments what you think about the discrimination of people because of their appearance. We are interested in your opinion!
Love yourself and be happy!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina