What is an anxious person afraid of?

Anxious person lives as if he has a radar that can detect any trouble. His fundamental conviction: the world around him is full of dangers, a catastrophe is possible at any moment. And you need to make every effort to avoid even the most minor complications.

An anxious and suspicious person is cautious and seeks to keep everything under control. In every situation, he sees, first of all, a risk and a possible danger to himself and his loved ones. In the face of uncertainty, chooses the worst guess. And thinking about the future, he tries to foresee any risk, any, even the most insignificant or unlikely event.

“I just woke up, but I’m not feeling myself anymore – there are so many things to do, will I have time for everything today? I have breakfast with my wife, I see that she is unhappy with something. What if one day we fall out of love with each other? I get into the car, I’m going to a meeting – will I really be late? I arrive at the place. Didn’t forget anything, did you foresee everything? The meeting is over. Immediately thought: the engine in the car is somehow unusually noisy, will something happen to it on the road? Isn’t it time to go to the workshop before something happens?”

But maybe it’s the smart thing to do? After all, the world is really dangerous: to be convinced of this, it is enough to turn on the TV or read the news on the Internet – in the reports of incidents every day we see dozens of deaths, hundreds of accidents. But how do others live, why do they not react to what is happening so sharply?

In fact, everyone is worried, just an anxious person does it more often and more intensely. The rest understand that catastrophes are possible, that all people are vulnerable, but do not think about it all the time. They try to avoid unnecessary risk, trust the world more and understand that not everything depends on them. As for petty everyday troubles like being late or a burnt dinner, they, of course, can cause excitement, but very moderate. And in restless, suspicious individuals, the alarm system is overly sensitive: it turns on too often and works too hard.

Pros and cons of anxiety

We all worry when, for example, we have to take an exam, speak in front of an audience, or rush to a train or plane. In order to suffer less from anxiety, we take measures: we try to prepare as best as possible for an exam or speech, we leave in advance for the station (to the airport). But many anxious individuals simply do not go to take exams, considering them – sometimes erroneously – too difficult for themselves. Or refuse performances and trips – too many worries and troubles.

It turns out that for some people anxiety is a stimulating factor, while for others it is a brake. But anxiety, even excessive, can bear fruit: an anxious person always insures, anticipates risks that others do not notice, and makes sure that all precautions are taken. Such people are extremely conscientious and prudent.

Suspiciousness as a disease

In some cases, an anxiety disorder becomes a disease that requires treatment. Other symptoms are added to anxiety, growing tension and endless thoughts about impending disasters. For example, increased activity of the autonomic nervous system (palpitations, sweating, flushing of the face, a lump in the throat), muscle tension (sudden shudders, a feeling of constriction), excessive vigilance in relation to the environment (a person is constantly on the alert, excited, irritable). In such situations, a doctor’s consultation is necessary.

Rules for communicating with an anxious-suspicious personality

What do we have to do

Show that you are a reliable person. For a suspicious person, the world around him is a huge machine, every detail of which can fail at any moment. If you manage to let him know that nothing threatens him with you, he will burden you less with his anxiety and your relationship will improve. Sometimes little things are enough for this: do not be late, respond to his letters on time, in fact show that you are a prudent person.

Help him realize that everything is not so scary. If your companion, drenched in sweat, is afraid that due to traffic jams you will certainly miss the train, help him imagine what will happen if this does happen. Is it so scary? What can be done if you are late? By inviting him to focus on the real consequences and the real action (take the next train, warn those who are waiting for you), you will help him look at the situation from the side and thereby calm down a little.

Joke softly and kindly. Anxious people get on your nerves. It’s true. Especially parents – their intentions, of course, are the best, but children are annoyed by their constant reminders. Dealing with such personalities is not easy and tiring. The main thing is not to succumb to the temptation to act in spite of them or mock them. Better think about where you get such desires. Why do you take pleasure in making a worried person worry?

Suggest to see a specialist. It can be difficult for an anxious person to make this decision on their own. Tell him that a psychologist will help him cope with his ongoing anxiety and his quality of life will only improve.

What not to do

Fall into slavery. Anxious people know how to involve others in their attempts to anticipate and control everything. Unbeknownst to you, you may find yourself bound hand and foot.

Arrange surprises. An anxious person reacts badly to surprises. Even if it’s a pleasant surprise! To come unannounced, to announce the news right on the doorstep, to arrange a prank – forget about it if you don’t want to cause him to panic.

Share your own concerns. Avoid talking about your problems: a restless person has enough worries of his own, you should not add yours to them. Unless he can help you. After all, the worst thing for him is to make sure that the world around him is even more unsteady and dangerous than he thinks. If you also become a concern for him, your relationship will deteriorate.

Talk about difficult topics. Anxious people think about possible dangers much more often than others. One mention of the danger already means that they survived it, suffered from it. So try not to overload them. Don’t tell them, just to share, that your neighbor with headaches has a brain tumor and you yourself just witnessed a terrible accident. Do not retell them the contents of a television report about the next tragedies on the roads or a recidivist killer.

Some doctors even advise anxious patients not to watch television news. Indeed, late-night broadcasts summarizing the catastrophes of the past day often reinforce the feeling that the worst is not only possible, but is already literally a step away from us. And this is the main belief of disturbing personalities.