What if we took advantage of the summer to take off his diapers?

Gone are the days when babies from 1 year old were trained to do their business in the potty. Today, the acquisition of cleanliness is done more slowly, between 2 and 3 years. Each child approaches it at their own pace, with their own motivation. But the months before entering school are often loaded with particular tension: our loulou will he have left diapers on time for his first school year?

Parent Question: “How do I know if a child is ready to go without diapers?” “

The opinion of the pediatrician.If the child knows going up and down a staircase alone, so he knows how to hold back the time to go to the bathroom. Indeed, mastery of the stairs is an indication of neuromuscular maturity of the lower body, and in particular of the sphincters. This is acquired around 2 years old. But it is also necessary that the child feels what is happening inside him, that he knows where to do it, and above all, that he wants to please you. The atmosphere at home must therefore be quiet, without pressure or tension.

The advice of the shrink. To become a continent, the child must have a sufficient level of language. We must have already discussed it with him: “Do you squirm, do you want to?” “,” Did you do in your diaper? »… This makes it possible to verify that he is aware of the movements that occur in him. And above all, it is essential that it is not in full opposition phase, otherwise it will be difficult!

“My child sits for hours on the potty doing nothing …”

The opinion of the pediatrician. If the child has regular transit, we can make him sit on the potty at the time when, usually, he defecates. But no way to leave it there for more than five minutes, whether there is something in the pot or not. The child must know what the potty is for, and not confuse it with an armchair! Also avoid “gadget” jars, a pot is not a toy ! Moreover, we place it in the toilet or the bathroom, we do not install it in the middle of the living room: to be clean is to be able to anticipate, to claim in time to go to the bathroom. ‘place dedicated to this.

> Take our quiz:Is your child ready for the potty?

“His grandma promised him a little gift if he gets clean. It’s a good idea ? “

The advice of the shrink.A priori, defecating in the pot is something natural who does not have to be rewarded with a gift. With some children, it’s very simple: they are motivated because they want to grow up. Others don’t see the benefit of being clean. On the other hand, they know what they are likely to lose, for example, the attention of the parents or the papouilles with mom at the time of the change. For them, it may be interesting to have an external relay in the form of a small bonus: “If today you pee well in the pot and not in your panties, we will go to the merry-go-round”. History that the child sees concretely what there is to gain there. It must remain a very occasional boost, by the time he has felt the pleasure of being clean, of no longer having this layer between his legs. And also, of course, the pride of having succeeded. The best reward for a child is the pleasure of his parents.

“If he starts to go on the potty during the holidays, will he be ready at the end of the holidays, because afterwards, it is quickly back to school?”

The advice of the shrink. It is a physiological datum, the mammal is naturally a continent. But in the young human, psychological and relational factors complicate the process of acquiring cleanliness. For example, the child who does not yet know how to hold back receives all the attention of his parents, he has a power that he wants to keep. If you want it to be clean to enter school, he feels the stake and he plays it. It may be counterproductive, especially if he is a little afraid of going to school. So take it easy, release the pressure, things are going to be done anyway.

The opinion of the pediatrician. It is not uncommon for a child to become clean “Regresses” with the approach of entering school: he is worried, he is stressed. You have to talk to him about it, reassure him. And don’t worry: school teachers know how to deal with accidents in the first month, they are used to it, it is quite common.

“I feel like my child is making no effort to get clean, and I’m starting to get impatient. “

The advice of the shrink. The first “accidents” are part of learning, that’s normal. Despite everything, for him it is a failure, so rather quickly it will be necessary to try to avoid them by helping the child to anticipate, for example by intervening if he squirms. Then, if the accidents follow one another, we must ask ourselves if this is not his way of signifying something else, a particular concern. Try to be alert to these signs, you who know your child well.

The opinion of the pediatrician. Be careful with the words we use! We often hear adults say to the child that if he gets clean “he will be a big one”. This is wrong, and the child knows it: he does not feel “big” and does not want to suddenly leave his life as “little”. Cleanliness is only one step towards independence. It is acquired on average at 24 months for girls, 27 months for boys.

“My child doesn’t want the jar to be emptied. “

The opinion of the pediatrician. It is important that he knows what poop and pee are: tell him how it works, explain to him that when we have eaten, the body takes whatever is good for it and reject what he does not need, in the form of poop. Likewise, you can tell him that when we drink, the water washes our body and the dirty water comes out as a pee.

The advice of the shrink. To illustrate all this, it’s time to play with trucks, which you fill the dumpster at one end of the corridor and unload at the other end. As he plays fill and empty, we draw a parallel with what is happening in the body… It is important that he can manipulate these concepts. Indeed, at 2 years old, the child does not yet have a very clear image of his body diagram. It’s under construction. However, he has worn diapers all his life, so in this region, the border between “inside” and “outside” is even more blurred. He tends to take his stools as part of him. If he is afraid that the jar will be emptied, it is because he is anxious at the idea of ​​seeing them disappear a piece of himself. The explanations will help him.

“It’s been over two weeks since I took off her diapers, and it’s still not taking. “

The opinion of the pediatrician. If the child is ready, cleanliness is acquired in less than two weeks. If we try too early, when he is not ready, he will steer, crash and it can become a nightmare! Better to avoid this kind of training and try again when he is ready.

The advice of the shrink. Do not hesitate to go back and put the diapers back if it does not work after ten days, provided that you talk about it and have the child’s agreement. We say to him: “I see that it is difficult for you, I was wrong, it was a little too early. Do you agree to put on diapers? And we make it clear to him that if he wants to remove them again, he has only to ask us. Anyway, we’ll try again later.

“I forgot to put him on a diaper at night, and he didn’t wet his bed. “

The advice of the shrink. La night cleaning comes by itself, generally a few months after the daytime cleaning. It is best to wait for the diaper to dry in the morning for several nights in a row before offering to remove it.

The opinion of the pediatrician. Some children, once they are clean during the day, do not want to put on diapers at night. The important thing is that the child does not feel too much pressure, but is valued by “I’m proud of you”. But not “You are tall”! He has plenty of time to become one.

* Anne Bacus, clinical psychologist, author of “The great book of your child from 0 to 3 years”, ed. Marabout

** Beatrice Di Mascio, pediatrician, author of “Your Child from Birth to Kindergarten,” ed. Albin Michel.