It is impossible to learn anything without making mistakes. We all know this very well – in theory. But in practice, we are often frightened, having stumbled on a new path, and we begin to doubt ourselves or in the chosen direction. What natural mechanisms in us resist the new and is it possible to “agree” with them?
I learned driving 15 years ago at the “mechanics”. This means that I had to master many new actions at the same time: turn the steering wheel, feel the dimensions of the car, change gears and simultaneously press the pedals with my feet – there were three of them, and only two legs, and even in those I was desperately confused.
After the first lesson, the thought came to my mind that I would never cope with this. One thing was encouraging: somehow, many people before me had learned to drive a car. And they didn’t have superpowers. So, I can too.
The first trip to the city was unforgettable. Not only have I still been confused about these ill-fated pedals and gear shifter, now I still had to look around, and 360 degrees, and also somehow evaluate the picture of reality from reflections in the mirrors.
Of course, I made a lot of mistakes. I tried to pass on red, stalled several times on the rise, violated the markings and hopelessly forgot about speeds and gears. To top it off, she tried to ram the bus at the turn. Fortunately, the instructor had his own brake pedal, he tore the steering wheel away from me and, apparently, saved both us and the passengers.
I got out of the car on trembling legs and promised myself that I would never sit in the driver’s seat again. It was really very scary and embarrassing. I felt clueless and clumsy. I thought that it was not even worth trying, wasting money and time on a driving school, if I was still not capable of it.
“How did it happen that you jumped from quite ordinary rookie mistakes to self-accusations and a feeling of worthlessness? a friend asked me last night. “After all, everyone makes mistakes when they learn new things.”
And the truth is that mastering any skill is not complete without trial and error. This is an experience that each of us has gone through many times. Taking the first steps, they got up and walked again. Drawing squiggles in copybooks, they soiled the paper, drew lines in the wrong direction and started from the next line. Teaching poems, they got confused in words and far from remembering everything correctly on the first attempt. I won’t even remember about chemical formulas …
It is worth reminding ourselves why we are mastering new things, taking a step into the unknown. What draws us there and what can be useful
Our loyalty to our mistakes largely depends on how parents and teachers treated them. But besides this, starting something new, you have to fight with your own nervous system. The thing is, it’s about security. Predictable and familiar to us actions and circumstances are regarded by her as safe.
A child psychologist or animal psychologist will say that the first step to calmness for a child or pet is a predictable and repeatable routine from day to day. But everything new brings the nervous system into a state of combat readiness. By keeping us away from what is threatening, it can also “overdo it.”
The ban on risk is the ban on development. Therefore, in order to learn something new, you need to go against your nervous system, which is desperately signaling: “Stop, don’t take risks, take a step back and calm down.”
And this is where motivation comes in. It is worth reminding ourselves why we are mastering new things, taking a step into the unknown. What draws us there and what can be useful. You can rely on curiosity or healthy ambition, even unwillingness to admit defeat to others or unwillingness to just part with the money paid for the training course can unexpectedly come to the rescue.
At this point, we weigh the pros and cons. We think about whether to continue to move forward, making mistakes, or to give up what is “not mine” and choose a different path, which can also be a reasonable decision. Standing at a crossroads, the main thing to remember is that some reactions can be a natural defense mechanism. And if the motivation outweighs, then it makes sense to “agree” with him and still try something new.
Needless to say, I still came to the next lesson and eventually passed the exam for the right? No one is immune from learning errors. But moving forward is impossible without them. The main thing is to remember where and why we are going, and at the right moment, when the protective mechanism laid down by nature works, not to confuse its manifestations with our own desires.