Children increasingly feel that their parents ‘ success is more important than their human qualities. And for the sake of justice, we must admit that the children are right in their guesses.
A new study by American sociologists shows that up to 80% of teenagers are confident that their academic achievements will please their relatives much more than the good deeds they can do. Children live with the fact that the grades in the diary are more important than good responses, and the desire to become a certified specialist is more important than the desire to be a good person and act accordingly.
Scientists from the Harvard School interviewed 10,000 children from 33 American schools. Students had to rank different values, including “kindness, “”academic success,” and ” happiness.” They were also asked to make a list of values in the order in which they think they would be placed by their parents.
“I was amazed at how highly children rate success,” he saysRick Weisburd Head of Research. “These figures are many times higher than a decade ago, and this is very eloquent.”
According to him, children are sure that their parents want them to be successful, even more than they want them to be happy. Not to mention the fact that parents, in the opinion of teenagers, will be much more happy if they win some school competition than they will help an old neighbor carry a heavy bag home.
“It’s unfortunate that children feel this way about parental priorities,” says Weisburd. – Because everyone wants to live up to their parents ‘ expectations, even if only subconsciously. This means that being kind, being good, ceases to be a defining value for our civilization.”
According to the observations of psychologists, the purposefulness provoked by parental expectations often turns into the fact that children begin to cheat: every second person interviewed by Rick Weisburd’s colleagues deceives teachers and four out of five write off their classmates, motivating this with the fear of upsetting relatives.
“Competition is becoming an increasingly important part of our social structure,” says the sociologistOksana Vladyka. “Children are taught from early childhood to be the first, the best.” There are different ways to treat this, she adds. On the one hand, competition is very motivating and, of course, is the engine of progress; on the other hand, it stimulates competition and ambition, which are still considered not the most positive and pleasant human qualities.
In addition, competition requires a person to make large emotional, time, and other investments in education and career at the expense of other areas of life. Not everyone is ready for this, and not everyone needs it. Especially for children.
Even worse is the competition in the adult world of graduates of orphanages, because no one teaches them to set goals, to achieve something in life. You can learn more about this problem in our publications:
Tatiana Plastinina: “A few graduates believe that everyone owes them. No, they go out and think, ” Where am I?»
Project “Noon” – assistance in adaptation for graduates of orphanages
Who cheats and who helps graduates of orphanages?
Adult life after the orphanage