“I pretend to sleep …”
“Most of the time, I don’t need to ask myself the question, because my partner suddenly gets up before I have time to wake up. She is a very light sleeper, luckily for me! If she sleeps soundly, I admit, it’s very cowardly, but I pretend to sleep, hoping that she will get up anyway. Sometimes she insults me! On the other hand, when she is not there – she is sometimes on the move – I transform. Me, who is usually a heavy sleeper, I jump at the slightest cry. It stresses me out and I’m afraid of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome! “
EMMANUEL
“It’s me who gets up I’m exhausted!” “
“Our little girl was born premature, with a problem that required a long hospital stay. When she returned home, she was 5 months old and was already sleeping through her nights. I stopped my job for six months and got into the habit of getting up when she woke up. At the moment, she’s having a lot of nightmares. I’m working again, but I’m still the one waking up because my partner will soon give birth to our second child and I don’t want her to be even more tired. However, since it takes a long time to get back to sleep, I am really exhausted. “
THOMAS
“We alternate with my wife”
“When my wife was breastfeeding, she would get up and it was a real relief… From six months, we weaned our daughter at night. I decided to get up too, alternating. Even though sometimes it was painful to wake up from sleep, I did. What I was able to do for my job (stay awake until 5 a.m.), I told myself that I had to be able to do what is most important to me, my children. I am also more resistant than my wife, who even though she does not work, suffers from migraines. “
NOUR-EDDINE
THE shrink’s OPINION
“The first years of a child’s life can take on the appearance of ‘intensive care’. Parenting is a real job and it can be exhausting. However, bedtime is an excellent time for dad to show off his “sleeping skills”. By putting his baby to bed, the father will also be better able to calm him during nocturnal awakenings, because the baby may have had the experience very early on that dad knows how to soothe him. We can see that Emmanuel is stressed because he is afraid of doing badly. For his part, Nour-Eddine manages the bedtime situation really well. Yes, it’s tiring, but these are phases. The baby will grow… Moreover, by supporting his partner, he signals to him that they are two in this “adventure”. Thomas is great, but he could also turn to friends and family for help, getting a proper night’s sleep. A woman becomes a mother through pregnancy and childbirth. While the man becomes a father by participating in the care and education of his baby. Small message to moms: asking dad for help is always rewarding, because we grant him the ability to do good! “
Stephan Valentin, DOCTOR IN PSYCHOLOGY and specialist in early childhood, author of “We will always be there for you”, ed. Pfefferkorn