“I think it is important for you to wake up your inner child both in a dream and in life. Close your eyes and imagine how you wake her up. Maybe, like in a fairy tale, with a gentle touch or a kiss. When she opens her eyes, try talking to her.” Every month, Jungian analyst Stanislav Raevsky deciphers the pictures you saw in your dreams.
Dream of Svetlana, 30 years old
“It was as if I had come to some old country house to find old books, photographs, letters. I need them for something like photography or filming, to set the mood or something like that. My attention is drawn first to the wardrobe, and then to the huge wardrobe trunk that lies on top of it. It looks heavy, but I substitute the ladder and with incredible effort pull it down. I open the lid, and there lies a little girl, she is not breathing … I peer, and it’s me! But at the age of four. And then a photograph falls out of the box, which I recognize without difficulty. But I cannot understand what happened to me – if I died in childhood, then who am I as an adult? And if this is a doll, then who needed it and why? All these thoughts wake me up. The feeling is creepy, I still feel uncomfortable, and I don’t understand what it is for. I don’t remember anything bad or even strange happening to me at that age. I was a cheerful, healthy child, my parents adored me, we always had a great relationship. By the way, the photo that I saw in a dream exists in reality. I was photographed at home before going to visit my grandmother. I remember that day, I was wearing my favorite dress, I still really like this photo.”
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Interpretation
“At the beginning of the dream, you want to find old photographs and letters – unconsciously you are looking for something in the past. Ask yourself why is it important for you to return to your childhood now? If your childhood was warm and happy, you can draw energy and experience from memories. In the wonderful psychological cartoon “Inside Out”1 childhood memories are shown as colored balls. They form our basic life experience and can come at the most difficult moments, warming and comforting us. Sometimes, in order to get to such memories, the psychologist suggests remembering the attic or mezzanine. It is so mysterious and interesting for any child to play in the attic and delve into old dusty things. The attic, mezzanine or something pushed into the closet symbolizes the pantry of memories.
The central image of the dream is a little girl who is not breathing. This is you, only at the age of four. In a dream, you meet your inner child. This is a very important meeting. In each of us, the inner child continues to live. Famous psychologist Eric Berne, who wrote one of the best books on the psychology of relationships “Games People Play”2, believed that three different subpersonalities live inside us: Adult, Parent and Child. Often I invite my students to look at an adult and imagine what kind of child he was in childhood. After all, by the age of four, we are already established individuals. The main features of our character have already appeared, but have not yet been hidden behind an adult mask. Seeing a child in another is a very important skill for a psychologist. After all, this child determines both our mood and our creativity. Often adults are condemned for infantilism and complain about how infantile our society is. But, as many psychologists and biologists believe, it is thanks to a long childhood that a person develops so rapidly. Our childhood capacity for play and fantasy has enabled humans to create sophisticated technology and culture. The ability to stay alive also depends on good contact with the inner child. Burnout and trying to always be a serious adult suppresses the inner child, we laugh and cry less, turning into robots.
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But for some reason your inner child is asleep or even dead. First of all, I would try to remember what could have happened at the age of four. Perhaps some serious injury is simply forgotten. Often, in working with a psychologist, memories of trauma do not come up immediately. Trauma can dramatically transform a child into a small adult, inside of which lives an undersized child who is waiting in the wings. But the dream does not necessarily speak of this trauma – its main task is to show you this sleeping girl. In some ways, she resembles, lying in a wardrobe trunk, as in a coffin, a sleeping beauty. By the way, it is perfectly preserved – time has not touched it, despite the fact that so many years have passed. In the fairy tale, the prince awakens her with a kiss. I think it is important for you to wake up your inner child both in a dream and in life. To do this, you can use active imagination. Close your eyes and imagine how you wake her up. Maybe, like in a fairy tale, with a gentle touch or a kiss. When she opens her eyes, try talking to her.
Talking to your inner child is very important. Believe me, he has something to tell you. In “Baby”3 Bruce Willis’ hero meets himself at the age of 8. He tries to get rid of this hallucination by visiting a psychiatrist. But an experienced specialist tells him: he will not leave so easily. The hero of the film is a cynical adult who constantly teaches everyone around him what to do. In a dialogue with himself as a little hero, he realizes that he has betrayed all the dreams of his childhood. He did not become a pilot, he is lonely and, most importantly, he does not have a dog. In the end, the characters help each other. The adult helps the child to defend himself, and the kid returns the adult to his dreams and real forgotten values. The kid saved a 40-year-old man from the crisis of his excess adulthood, saved him from necrosis.
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So ask your girl what she needs. Tell her about your life. The imagination allows us to do this. Such a fantasy dialogue will give you a lot.
Of course, this dream may have a simpler explanation: you yourself want to have a baby. And we are ready to meet him. Four years is the age when girls actively play role-playing games, training them in the most natural and most difficult role in life – being a mother. Your readiness to become a mother can activate the memories of this period. But even in this case, it is important for you to talk to your inner child. It is good contact with the inner child that allows you to establish good contact with the real child.
In conclusion, Svetlana, I would like to thank you and your unconscious for such a miraculous dream that you shared with us. I wish all our readers to find their inner children more often in the magical attics of our memory. This will give us lightness, emotionality and creativity.
What does sleep mean? Have you had a dream that worries you, puzzles you, or recurs? Do you still remember what you dreamed about as a child? Write about it in the “My Story” section. Stanislav Raevsky will try to decipher your dream.
1 Inside out, США, 2015
2 E. Bern “Games that people play. People who play games” (Eksmo, 2013).
3 “Little Boy”, USA, Mexico, 2015.